OP, you have my sympathy.
In the early years of my marriage, I was working full time and DH part-time, and, inevitably, almost every Saturday morning, I would blow up about the housework -- because I was waking up after seven days of 6am starts and 11pm finishes to face an entire day of washing, ironing, cleaning, and vacuuming, with DH just hovering around like a confused bee.
Since then, I have managed to educate my DH about housework to quite a significant extent. He's not magnificent with the housework, but we have got somewhere and I no longer explode on a Saturday morning.
There were three sources of my DH's uselessness that I identified ...
- Parental conditioning was the most influential. My DH's mother did all the housework in their family home when DH was young. However, it wasn't so much this that influenced his behaviour (ie. that he had grown up believing housework was "women's work") but that, by doing everything in the home, his mother had inadvertently trained her son into being domestically useless.
For example: even to this day, my DH will leave used plates, cutlery and glasses on the worktop above an empty dishwasher. I never understood this, particularly as he had become the person who filled and emptied the dishwasher, until I realised at my ILs one weekend that his mother insists on everyone leaving used crockery and cutlery and glasses on the side so she can personally stack the dishwasher "properly".
In short, my MIL trained my DH to leave used stuff on the side for so many years that now he cannot override the conditioning.
I realised this "conditioning" affected loads of other aspects of housework for DH, and there were also quite a few anachronistic habits as well -- such as being very strange about leaving a teaspoon in a hot drink. 
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Again, because he had grown up with a mother who did everything, no one had ever taught him how to view the domestic sphere from a position of responsibility. He couldn't see the the housework that needed doing because he had never been taught to see it. This was incredibly disempowering for him because ...
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... he simply did not know why I did certain things -- because no one had ever explained it to him.
I found that explaining exactly why certain domestic jobs needed doing helped my DH massively. During this process, I realised that I actually don't do a lot of housework for aesthetic reasons, although I presumed I did. Instead, I actually do them for health and safety reasons, and that is why I can get so upset about housework not being done.
As a side note, I found it pretty interestingly to consider the extent to which aesthetics is an evolutionary visual shorthand for safety and health, even in terms of modern domestic environments.
Any road ... when I worked out and then explained the health and safety angle to DH, he started to get it (I had to think about it because it was just so ingrained in me that I was no longer conscious of it). So, for example, I would tell him that we needed to vac to get bits off the floors because if there were bits on the floors, we might track them into bed or into a bath, or a baby/toddler might accidentally consume them, and we didn't actually know what those bits were. The cat might have brought something on its fur, for example.
Same goes for washing floors. People come into the hallway wearing their shoes and we have no idea whether or not they might have walked in something horrid, which now may be on our floor.
I did this for every domestic job and a few others as well. The approach turned what he assumed was a lot of silliness over aesthetics into a "responsibility to protect" -- and that fired into aspects of his male gendering.
It has been fairly successful.