AIBU to expect parents to keep autistic son safe in supermarket?

[middleagedbread]

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2936089/Parents-seven-year-old-autistic-boy-asked-leave-Iceland-not-controlling-son-running-aisles.html

I've checked and can't see this thread started anywhere else. I think that the security guard was within his rights to ask both parents to supervise their son or leave store and I don't see where they were being discriminated against. The £20 'apology' from the store after they complained isn't enough it seems; they want com-pen-say-shun. Cue sadfaced pics in article. I am certain that, should their son have injured himself while not being supervised, these same parents would be featuring in an article about 'unsafe supermarket injured my child'.

Parents of autistic children have enough to cope with without these sort of negative articles.

You coped? You just said they brought down a display of drinks in plastic bottles, removed the charity box at the checkout and tried to climb out. Clearly at ages 2 and 3, when they are small and relatively containable, 2 of you struggled to deal with them. And you're criticising parents of a child that is 7yo - much larger, generally stronger and more coordinated - who has behavioural problems? And that's without knowing the family dynamics at all or their background, if one of them has any healthy issues or anything else going on.

yes. how is that even the same?

You asked Up, if you thought it was ok for the parents to 'exploit' their child for money - and she and several posters pointed out that you have no way of knowing whether they were after money.

You also asked if you thought it was reasonable to try and keep their child safe in the supermarket - I would say, yes it is reasonable to try and keep your child safe, but might not always be possible.

Op, I am not sure then what you meant by, parents choosing to label their child as disabled.

still stirring and grinning op

I wonder what happened to the security guard. DS works in security and trains people for their SIA licences. They don't seem to be given any training in how to cope with situations like this, (unless Iceland have their own specific training) so here he is, faced with what looks like an unruly child. What is he supposed to do- turn a blind eye and hope it doesn't last too long? Believing the store manager would not want a child running round the store, he intervenes, only for it all to blow up in his face, the store to pay out compensation and the incident splashed across the newspapers. Not to mention an entire thread on Mumsnet.
DS (who has AS) says he would probably have done the same thing, because in his mind people have to behave in shops. And who is to say the security guard hasn't got a hidden disability of his own?

oh good grief. So the whole daily mail story was gospel and the security guard had a hidden disability?

Not sure which is more unlikely

They were contained. My DH cleared up the bottles while I kept them in the trolley seats and the charity box was chained there anyway. They tried to climb out. There was no unruly running about or annoying other customers. I'm glad they've grown up though.

op you said You said " who they have labelled as disabled".

you posted that

they were 2 and 3. and entirely different children to the boy in the story, with presumably different needs. So your anecdote is irrelevant

God people are desperate to be outraged at this boy

and now we have to feel sorry for some un named SG

Op what did you mean by that comment then?

fanjo
when I was a kid we called them shit stirrers

I love the way the op gets a post deleted and then pretends she didn't say it.

aww bless

No unruly running about and no annoying other customers (how you could possibly know this unless you're psychic is beyond me)?? They knocked over a drinks display and tried to take a charity box. So they could have damaged store property (drinks) and the only think that apparently stopped them from getting the charity box was a chain.

You're really not helping your "side" you know, right? If you can't control them at 2-3 years with 2 of you, I cannot understand for the life of me how this baffles you that a 7yo (who doesn't fit in the trolley, so is at a higher risk of getting loose) could break free from his parents and cause a disturbance before he is calmed down.

There's an awful lot of speculation going on here. About the article, the child, parents, security guard, me the OP, and other posters comments. None of it helpful really because I have caused upset where no offense was meant.

When I started the thread I was looking for a reasonable discussion about the article and the scenario it posed. I want to apologise to any mners who read my comments and were offended by them. I obviously wrote clumsily and in an inarticulate fashion. I have been on mn for a couple of years under different names but have never sought to offend with my comments or threads. So, please accept my apology and let us end this discussion with a virtual handshake. [handshake emoticon]

7 year olds don't fit in a supermarket trolley. Hence it being a lot more difficult to contain them.

As others said I really do find the terminology in the OP offensive and objectionable. They're sneering.
For that reason and the fact it's the Faily Hate I'm not reading. Or commenting on the article because I haven't read it.

One thing I WILL say is that during the Christmas holidays I had to take DS2 shopping to Iceland. We'd run out of essentials and it couldn't be avoided.

He was in his wheelchair. I asked if there were any wheelchair trollies and the staff member just stared at me blankly and said no. So I asked if there was a member of staff available to come round with us, again blank stare and "no".

So I ended up going next door to Lidl who couldn't have helped more. On my return home I tweeted Iceland customer services who didn't even know where the store in question was despite me linking to the entry in the store finder on their own website! They couldn't give less of a crap!

Oh and OP you posted as I was typing. Thanks for that. It's appreciated. I do get pissed off at the number of nasty threads about disabled people on here.

OP - there is not enough information in the article to discuss it rationally.

• there is absolutely no information on exactly what happened, what the child did. Did he break free of the parents and they were trying to settle him down? Was he like this throughout the shop (highly doubtful).

• there is absolutely no information on exactly what the parents did. Were they trying to calm him? Trying to reassure him so he'd settle? Trying to physically restrain him? Obviously he had to had either been calmed or restrained at one point, else how would they have gotten him out of the store?

• there is absolutely no information on exactly what the security guard did. Was he belligerent? Was he calm? Did he assist the parents or simply walk up and tell them to leave?

We don't know ANY of this, and all of it is relevant. So people coming on and trashing the parents based on their assumptions that they basically stood by and did nothing while the child ran rampart are ridiculous... which is what we've been TRYING to tell people since page 1.

Lefty that is why I cannot take ds1 to Iceland or Farm foods. I cannot push a wheelchair and a trolley at the same time, and they do not have the child wheelchair trolleys.

Appreciate your comments Lefty. Alice, thanks for the clarification.

Currently none of my local supermarkets have a sn trolley. They keep getting broken by people messing about with them and are not replaced. I have to do sn buggy in one hand and basket in the other.

so after causing all that distress
your sorry...

Ok so I did report.
The response from MNHQ is because there are parents on here with children with disabilities who support the OP then it's ok.

So because there are posters who can't appreciate how disability can and does differ then it's ok.