I'm being completely ridiculous - I don't want to go to work today :(

[Blueboatinghat]

Oh this is so stupid.

I don't want to face my colleagues. And they are lovely. I am being ridiculously sensitive.

I have a first name that is featured in a song (please don't out me.) One lady SINGS every time someone says my name. It's so grating. I could cope with that but I used to have the piss ripped out of me as a child for my name and it makes me feel like that. I have to force myself to smile when actually I hate it. She is really lovely so I don't feel I can be sharp about it.

I'm constantly having well meaning ideas about my lunch, diet, exercise regime, nails, hair, face, body, life - being directed at me and I just want to cry. They do it to each other but it makes me feel "not good enough."

I try to avoid them but it's not always possible.

Sorry rant. Taking a deep breath ...

Only, you sound like me I was bullied for liking horses and for having teachers for parents. Later I got bullied because my mum had cancer - great.

It isn't only 'not easy' to ignore bullies as a child - it's also ineffectual. Ignoring an adult sends a message out that you are more powerful than they are; ignoring a child makes the child think you are scared of them.

I am not in any way shape or form a princess - ironically, i think that description is more fitting to some colleagues than me. Of course they don't mean any real harm by it and then aren't intending to belittle me. It doesn't change the fact they do.

Blue, that's really vile.

I think you're being generous in assuming that they don't mean any real harm or to belittle you. But if they don't, then you should be able to ask them calmly not to keep saying these things and they should take heed. If they don't then you'll know what their intentions were.

I have been in jobs before where I didn't really fit in and have taken the old "smile and nod" approach. You will never be friends with your work mates, so just smile and nod, let it go in one ear and out the other. Their chatter is of no consequence to you. I have learnt to talk about nails, beauty appointment and other shit I really don't care about in a very non-committal way and just let it wash over me.

I have to admit that I have years of practice with the ILs under my belt, though

I don't think the smile and nod approach is always going to work though, or be the right approach for everyone. There is a difference, too, between general chat about nails and beauty etc and comments like 'Why don't you try wearing it this way / doing this to your hair / eating this / doing that', which is what the OP says she experiences.

And I really don't see why the hell anyone should have to just smile and nod anyway.

"OnlyLovers" - completely agree with your post. Some bullying children enjoy bullying so much that they continue with it as adults.

So did you say anything today?

Can you email her? And tell her not to go it any more.

OnlyLovers op has subsequently said she loves her name but what is wrong with changing your name if you don't like it? Lots of people do just that.

Fight she did not say the women were bullying her.

She said she didn't like her name being sung as it brought back childhood memories of being bullied at school and upset her. Not that they were bullying her.

And she admitted their ideas were well meaning and they did it to everyone but she just doesn't like it.

Which is fair enough and her prerogative.

The OP in no way seems like a drama queen.

However I agree with PPs who have said it DOES sound like bullying.

There is no way they won't be able to sense your discomfort, unless you are Oscar winning actress, so they should be backing off.

Give it a rest, Mince. It's an unhelpful and silly thing to say to someone in the first instance. Why would you assume from the OP that she didn't like her name, rather than that she didn't like the teasing about her name?

Have a word with yourself