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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

about DP sharing bed with his DD

92 replies

Nabootique · 01/02/2015 22:42

He thinks I am. He gets erections and is kind of handsy and snuggly in his sleep when he's with me and if he's asleep I think he would just do it unknowingly, if that makes sense. She's adult, btw. I just think it's a bit weird, especially as it wasn't a totally necessary sleeping arrangement. They are a close family. His sister gets mistaken for his girlfriend sometimes because they tickle and wrestle Confused

OP posts:
Sollers · 01/02/2015 23:03

WTVF? I have shared a bed with my mother (as an adult) when it wasn't worth us buying an extra hotel room and such. But the thought of sharing a bed with my father is just all kinds of ick.

I suppose that's not really rational, thinking about it, but at the same time...yuck!

OttiliaVonBCup · 01/02/2015 23:06

Properly inappropriate is my new favourite expression.

I'll try and use it as many times as I possibly can tomorrow.

Original poster
Nabootique · 01/02/2015 23:08

Ottilia Grin

OP posts:
Finola1step · 01/02/2015 23:10

OP's a bona fide regular. Just saying.

gamerchick · 01/02/2015 23:10

Man I'm reading some fucked up stuff of late, it hurts my head.

Full moon wed isn't it? Things always get a bit weird I think.

FightOrFlight · 01/02/2015 23:22

Buy him one of these OP

media-cdn.tripadvisor.com/media/photo-s/02/e3/16/b6/hotel-penzion-jagodic.jpg

SoonToBeSix · 01/02/2015 23:23

Apologises op been a long day.

pregnantpause · 01/02/2015 23:24

Id sleep in double bed with dad before I slept on a sofa. For comfort- a bed with a pillow is far far better than a sofa. No spooning necessary- you wear clothes and sleep facing eath other. I am a tactile sleeper when sleeping with dh- not so when sleeping with my sister ( which happens in hotels) and equally if occasion occurred not so with my dad. He's my dad ffs.

Topseyt · 01/02/2015 23:36

I think it is odd and totally inappropriate.

It just is.

iklboo · 01/02/2015 23:39

Anyone for goat curry?

iklboo · 01/02/2015 23:40

Whoops. Wrong thread!!!Blush

FightOrFlight · 01/02/2015 23:42

< now wondering what thread ikl's comment should have been on >

Confused
Dannie22b · 01/02/2015 23:42

Umm I would find it inappropriate and it freaks me out! Why would she want to share a bed with h

BlessedAndGr8fulNoInLaws4Xmas · 01/02/2015 23:43

Unhealthy. Totally.

I hope is DD is not a vulnerable adult - ie has a mental illness or intellectual disability.

If so she needs safeguarding against this man.

BlessedAndGr8fulNoInLaws4Xmas · 01/02/2015 23:44

Ps sounds incestuous and I would be running a mile.

a2011x · 01/02/2015 23:48

Not sure. I mean although I wouldn't really WANT to sleep in bed with my dad (and nor would he) I really don't think it's that big a deal. I have shared beds with different people (friends and family ) on drunken nights (imagine caravan drunk ness) and to be honest it's not really a big deal. Got up to go to the toilet came back to brother in law sleeping , I slept one side he slept the other and we really didn't care, the thought doesn't come to my mind- I love him like my brother and he loves me like a sister there's nothing sexual or weird about it, just sharing a space with someone you know and are comfortable around . Maybe drunken behaviour is different but actually my dad would be sickened at the idea of what some people here are suggesting. I get that he is touchy feely with you but with his own daughter I could say 100% that when I sleep in bed with anyone I know who it is even when I am asleep I know, the same as co sleeping with baby you just know. It might of seemed odd to you that they didn't chose the sofa but actually in a normal world it's just a dad and daughter , why must it be portrayed as sinister? Of course I know what goes on in the world and of course that is vile, but speaking about my own dad he would go to sleep as would I and that would be the end of it. Now if she slept in bed with her mother what would you think? Just a thought. To me no different that sleeping with brother/sister mother etc, of course I would be concerned about your partner if you were given reason to believe he was a child abuser , but obviously you don't think that and seem to be sexualising it for no apparent reason. Be realistic here

apostropheuse · 01/02/2015 23:51

No it's not normal behaviour. Good grief. YANBU

horseygeorgie · 01/02/2015 23:54

I wouldn't share a bed with my Dad for all the tea in china!!!Shock

He snores like a freight train Grin

Wouldn't bother me tbh, you know them both and for me bed + parent vs sofa = bed every time! I should've thought he will be fine, he will know who he is in bed with even subconsciously.

marshmallowpies · 02/02/2015 00:07

Ugh I remember the last time I had to share a hotel room with my parents - me on a camp bed because they refused to book me a room on my own, it was a waste of money. I was 21 I think so exactly at the age where privacy mattered!

And my period came on that night so woke up with cramps, last place I wanted to be was a room with my parents.

This would definitely bother me in a big way, OP..

Becles · 02/02/2015 04:24

Only voice of reason on the thread is a2011x.

Some very messed up thinking about relationships and interactions between parents and children by so many posters.

WishUponAStar88 · 02/02/2015 04:39

Seems I'm very much in the minority here - it's not a regular thing and there was only a sofa available. She's his daughter, what's the problem?! Some odd opinions on this thread tonight imo.

ElmaTheElephant · 02/02/2015 04:51

I think he is highly unlikely to get an erection when cuddling his daughter, regardless of her age. It's a totally different kind of closeness to the one he feels when he's sleeping with you - at least it should be. I could snuggle up to one of my (teenaged and young adult) sons without it feeling the least bit inappropriate, but they might think it was weird if I suggested we stay like that all night. Confused

I can't imagine why they would choose to sleep like that it other beds were available, that does seem rather odd, but not necessarily sexual.

Alya81 · 02/02/2015 04:58

This thread is weird. I can't believe how outraged many posters are being. I have shared a bed with my dad. Many times. We sleep. He doesn't touch me inappropriately. You people can be so weird.

googoodolly · 02/02/2015 05:02

I've shared a bed with my dad plenty of times through lack of choice. I would rather do that than sleep on a sofa, especially if it's just for one night.

If they both just go to sleep, why is it a problem?! I wouldn't share a bed (or even a room) with my mum though - she snores! Grin

CheerfulYank · 02/02/2015 06:07

Seems weird to me. But I'm sure it's entirely innocent.

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