To work to a totally different routine than my dsil asked for my baby nephew?

[wallyfrog]

My db and dsil have gone away for the weekend and left their ds with me, his auntie. I have 3 children, all older. We have a very busy house... 3 kids all over 7 but not teens, 2 dogs, 1 cat and 1 rabbit, I do 2 jobs and life is chaotic in a loud but fun way.

Dn is 14 months old. Lovely. He doesn't spend much time with me. He doesn't spend much time with anybody. He has no siblings. He lives a very quiet life in terms of level of noise and what he actually does each day.

My db and dsil watch TV with the subtitles on and don't flush if dn is asleep. Both of them have brought him up to live on a Spanish routine, in that he wakes at 9, has breakfast at 9.30, snack at 11.30, lunch at 1.30, siesta from 3-5, dinner at 7.30 and bed at 9.30.

I have no problem with that routine at all. Each to their own and he is thriving and very happy. However, I have brought my children on a traditional 1970s English routine. Up at 6.30, breakfast at 7, lunch at 12.30, dinner at 5.30 and bed at 6.30-7. My dh and I like an evening to ourselves and they have to get up early for school anyway.

When I willingly agreed to babysit for the weekend, I hadn't realised that they would want me to follow their routine. I've had written notes, with the times in different colour and under lined bits.

Now I know that it is for my benefit so that if my nephew gets upset I can know what may be wrong by looking at the clock etc. But I can't really follow 2 routines, it is quite difficult with so many other pressures/people. So I have kind of ignored all notes and done everything to my families routine. He seems okay with it.

Perhaps I will 'pay' tonight. AIBU?

If your kids are older, couldn't you let them stay up later with their cousin for the weekend as a treat? They will be more able to cope with a change than a toddler (assuming they have a day to recover in time for school).

So, did you confess when they picked him up?

wait til tomorrow and see if you get an enraged phone call?

I now realise I did the Spanish Routine... My DS didnt want to get up till 9 ish (oce we had got passed the terrible no sleeping first year) I was so gratefull he slept till 9am as I am not an early riser.

More bloody fool you getting your kids up at 6.30..theres no need at all

I seem to have the worst of both routines....bed at 9pm and up at 6am!

The routine your SIL has is very similar to the routine my Italian in-laws follow. Wake up 9ish, lunch 1-2, nap (for younger ones) around 3pm and bed 11ish. We adapt our son to this routine when we're out there but he always switches back easily once home. On school nights my niece goes to bed around 10. Trouble is, school starts early 830 because it finishes at lunchtime, so I can see how tired my niece is.

An Italian friend of my husband living in the UK has just been called in to his son's school. His son follows Italian routine and goes to bed at 11. School have complained he's tired and not doing well.

Your sil is doing her child no favours if she continues this when he starts school.