To consider not sending my child to pre school or nursery and just go straight to school?

[dottytablecloth]

I'm a teacher so probably should know but I don't! . I teach older children.

Anyway our child goes 2/3 days a week to a childminder, lots of other children there and it's working very well.

The rest of the time is spent with dh or me. I will have no problem with dc starting school when the time comes but I sometimes wonder if we don't start formal ed too soon so another year 'outside' the system would be good for him.

Is it a really bad idea to not send our dc to anything other than just starting school when the time comes.

Do they benefit immensely from pre school?

Do you think your child would really have missed out by not going?

Watching with interest as I don't want to send dd either.

Hello OP

I think all my dc gained so much from not attending nursery or pre school.
They were well ahead of their peers in some respects but I think it depends on the dc and the parent tbh.

we did the same type of thing I hear they do in pre school but in our own time and through play.

They didn't even go to a childminder, just me and their friends, but I made sure they socialised regularly.

I agree with you about children starting formal education too early in this country, however, preschool (or at least where my DD goes) is not really formal education. She is starting school in reception and sometimes they will do a bit of phonics work with her age group but only if the children want to. Otherwise it is 100% play based learning and she absolutely loves it. I think it's invaluable for the aspect of socialising with children that are in the same age group as them. I am a childminder and you can offer that on a smaller scale to children if those in your care are the same age obviously but if not I think that preschool is important. Just my opinion though and if your DC is a pretty sociable child anyway and you don't think they need any more then I doubt they will be at any real disadvantage in not going. I just think they will really love it!

Do you mean start in year 1 or reception?

I think all three of my dcs benefitted from preschool.

With dd and ds2, I was a SAHM so they didn't have the advantages of mixing with other children in a childcare setting.

With ds1, while he went to a childminder, the preschool setting provided a helpful bridge between being looked after in a home from home environment to the more formal 5 day a week, lots of children setting of reception class.

My childminder didn't have lots if children though, and was very much an environment like our house with a couple of extra kids and without me. Not massively different to home life really.

Preschool was obviously slightly more intense than the childminder, but much less formal than reception. So it helped all of the children.

A lot depends on the preschool to be honest. Some in my area are very much like pre-pre-prep/kindergarten with uniforms and more concerted efforts regarding phonics and number - formal learning. The preschool my dcs went to was much more relaxed - mostly social skills and gentle routine, with heaps of free play and own clothes. Trips to "forest school" on the same site. Excellent covered outside play area with loads of garden toys, mini allotment and so on. Not remotely pressured or pushy. So there was still a bit of a transition to reception, which is also lots of playing, interspersed with phonics, maths and social skills.

Obviously, there were advantages to SAHM-ing too, or wouldn't have done it. What I meant to say was, the preschool provided a balance at a good age - it was fun and exciting, and a transition point between home/big school.

Preschool has been brilliant for my kids. They paint, make cakes, go blackberry picking, make friends, ride bikes, play in their little park, read stories, make friends.
I think it's fab.
You could argue that you could do all this stuff with them, but I think preschool do it much better than I can. Plus I like the break.

I think pre school is a huge benefit to children in the year before they start school.

I work in reception, and while there aren't many children I can think of that haven't been to nursery/pre school at all, the ones that I can think of have all taken longer to settle into routines, and have needed much more guidance when it comes to choosing what to do in free flow time, initiating play with others, sorting their own belongings and that type of thing.

They settle in the end, and I don't think it makes a difference academically, but I do think pre school helps get children ready for school so that when they do get there they are ready to get the most from it.

I used a nursery instead of a child minder and my son had a great time there. It was almost entirely play based learning with a bit of phonics thrown in but helped with social skills a lot, making friends, sharing etc. They have chance to play with things and take part in activities that you may not do at home.

Personally I think nursery prepares them for school and for most is a positive experience. I agree that children start mainstream education to early in this country but in reception was relieved to find there was still a good deal of play.

Why not visit the nurserys in your area (private and connected to school) and see what you think? You get a feel about a place and will know when you find the right one.

I teach 'littlies' and can see the benefit of pre-school. Some YR children start school painfully shy, with huge gaps in their development (some, not all) and have no idea about routines and expectations. The 'norm' these days is that most children attend a pre-school setting before YR and to have a child who has no idea about sitting switch 30 other children on the carpet, or lining up etc, etc makes life difficult for them, the teacher and the other children. One rom teo have developed behavioural problems as a result and two children we had ended up as a selective mute (friend's niece is exactly the same and she has just started YR in September).
However, I am assuming your little one is very well socialised (childminder) and if your child attends groups with other children on a regular basis, they will have no or little problems going straight to YR.
You know your child best!

You don't have to send your child every day. My DS goes every day but his friend only goes two afternoons a week. He is as sociable and outgoing as my DS!!

I felt exact,y the same as you, my DS went to an excellent childminder and was very happy. Then we moved house and circumstances meant he went to preschool.

I have been astonished how good it has been for him, how much difference it has made. He has so much more confidence in social situations, has a gang of little pals, has learnt so much. And I've met other mums and feel in a community for the first time really.

I don't think it's 'necessary' but for us it's been brilliant.

For us pre school was too much like a formal setting as was nursery.
Our dc settled into school immediately, but we had done a lot with them at home and they were pretty independant by the time they started.
All dc are different though so its important to do whats right for them.

Mine all started school at different ages too.

Ds1 started reception at aged 5.1 Ds2 was 5.1 and dd was 4.8 there is a huge age gap between ds and dd and the law changed. It was great them not having to start until they were 5.

My DC absolutely loves preschool. I was very apprehensive about sending him. He did find the separation from me difficult for the initial few days, this is made loads easier by the fact that the sessions are only 3 hours long.

We both love the exposure to new friends, songs, education etc. He has come on so much since starting preschool and having to have some responsibility for himself.

We did alot of activities prior to preschool but the learning experience preschool has seems to really accelerate their development.

I'd contact the school and ask how many children use the school nursery before starting school. You might find that nearly all the children go to the school nursery first; which is what it's like for our school.

Lots of children and parents will know each other from the school nursery which makes the transition from nursery to school much easier.

School nurseries tend to have transition programmes in place to. Our school nursery does. They get to visit the p1 classroom, meet their buddies, use the school hall, attend school events etc, to get them used to the school environment.

Marking place so I can come back and read this later, don't have time now

Both ds's started at school nursery the day after they turned 3 - which was in January for ds1 and April for ds2.

I think they benefited hugely because when they started the class was tiny, about 8 or so. As children turned 3 and joined the class got bigger, but I think those first few weeks of having a tiny class really helped them settle in.

I think waiting until Reception and then joining a class of 20-30, when many of them will already know each other from a year + of nursery must be quite a shock tbh.

My dc didn't attend any nursery, pre school or childminders. They went straight to school and settled in fine. I'm in the we start formal education to early camp.

I'm a SAHM and send my 3yo DS to pre-school three mornings a week. I wanted him to get used to a more structured 'institutional' environment before starting Reception. He loves it and I think its been really good for him. I'm also in the "we start formal education too soon" camp, but seeing as its what we do I want to prepare DS for it as best I can.

If your DC is happy and you are happy, then I don't see much point in faffing around with a successful arrangement. Especially as they are already getting the chance to mix in larger groups.

BTW - my DD went to nursery for 3 years before starting school and 16 children in her reception class had also been at her nursery.
She couldn't remember them though so she just made new friends (or remade old friends). I don't think children make friends for life at nursery/pre-school.

It's entirely up to you. I don't think it's necessarily a must. I sent my dd because she was extremely shy and I thought it would bring her out of her shell. She enjoyed it for the most part and made some lovely friends that she still knows now she is 12. She went 3 mornings a week, that was plenty for us both.

YANBU.
Ds went to an independent Nursery a couple of mornings a week and loved it for the social aspect. If that nursery hadn't been there I wouldn't have sent him to the more formal pre-schools in the area as I didn't like the set up.
He only knew 2 children from there when he started school but that wasn't a problem. As long as they know how to play and (mostly) get along with others it doesn't matter and they can learn those skills just as well from a good childminder or with a SAHM who does stuff with them.

Have really enjoyed reading the replies.

A real mixed of views.

Is it true that children don't have to go every day to preschool?

If the main benefit of preschool is learning how to sit still, listen, line up etc is be happy to delay this until first year of school.

I'm torn!

My dcs did 3 sessions initially. Then in he year before they started school, they did 2 full days and a half day, so 5 sessions.

Ds 1 and 2 have sept birthdays and dd has summer birthday. She was a January starter.

Don't knock learning to sit still and listen. If gently done, then these are excellent skills yo help make the first months of school easier and less worrying. Any good preschool will be understanding of child development and will gently encourage these skills rather than seeing inability yo sit still and listen as abnormal.

I just personally think than gradual immersion is better than jumping in at the deep end. The advantage of preschool is the superior adult:child ratio which acts as a stepping stone towards the more intense perhaps 2:30 rather of adults to children in reception.

Have you considered sending him to a playgroup?

Yes, I know they're technically exactly the same thing and follow the same guildelines. I just suspect that an establishment which is into pushing formal ed is far more likely to call itself a preschool or nursery, while a playgroup is likely to be more relaxed.