Trying to ascertain whether my ds2 (18 mo) is just 'typical' second child or whether it's just my immediate circle of friends that have very strong willed second children?
He's Fab and we adore him but he's bloody hard work. Knocks his older brother around, generally very physical but also has a very short fuse. Had tantrums since he was 13 montha 
Normal second child in everyone else's experience?
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AIBU?
Are all second dcs a bit crazy?
83 replies
LittleMilla · 30/01/2015 21:22
OP posts:
myotherusernameisbetter ·
30/01/2015 22:46
Mine wanted to be a Judge as my OH used to get exasperated with the constant "why do I need to do x or Y" so OH just said "because its the law" to which he demanded to know who made the laws....OH briefly contemplated a long involved story about MPs parliament and the Lords and the queen, glanced at 2 year old DS2 and settled for saying "Judges". That was all fine until he saw the x factor and wondered why Simon Cowell was making the laws for the country.....
He said his first words at 7 months - Bizarrely "yellow" and "NO!" (we should have seen that coming!) and we have him on video at 13 months trying to take off his bodywarmer and shouting "take it off!" so by 2 he was very eloquent! i wont tell you about the time aged 18 months that he told DS1 "to shut the futtin' door" 
:o
StarOnTheTree ·
30/01/2015 23:20
My firstborn is calm, biddable, fair, mature, kind, placid, easy going. Never ever tantrummed and is accepting and understanding and works hard and perseveres, is studious, methodical etc.
This is my DC2 I just don't know that I've got her or rather that I can't hear her above the others
DC1 was really hard work when she was younger and is still hyper now at 18. DC3, well, feral is a good word..... 
HungerKunstler ·
31/01/2015 00:10
God I hope not. DS was crazy enough. If DD is any crazier than him I'll have to start mainlining Xanax for the next 3 years. She's currently 3 months and shows no obvious signs of being crazy yet,.. plenty of time yet I suppose!
I think if anything I've seen a trend where if the eldest child was crazy, the second one is calmer but if the eldest child was calm and 'easy' the second one is a handful. Just anecdotal though.
DustyCropHopper ·
31/01/2015 00:10
Yes, ds2 was (and still is) very hard work. He is now a middle child too 
AGnu ·
31/01/2015 00:25
DS2 is much easier in many respects than DS1, or at least he was before the screaming tantrums started at 18m. We've had 6 weeks of angry screaming whenever we've asked him to do something he didn't want to, tried to help him do anything or walked in the room holding the nappy-changing things. Aside from that, which I think we had similar from DS1 at that age, he's so sweet, loving, affectionate & playful. We suspect DS1 has Aspergers so it's a revelation to have a child who'll just come cuddle you for no reason. We fell asleep on the sofa for a couple of hours earlier. I can't even remember the last time DS1 willingly sat on my lap for more than 5 minutes, let alone asked to come up & then fell asleep on me!
Sorry, rambling, in short, DS1 is the bolter & DS2 standard toddler-stage aside is sweet & loving. They're both fairly independent though & both slept through pretty much from 5 weeks old except when ill or teething. As long as I keep them contained in the house where they can't escape, I have fairly easy children... It's when DS1 goes to nursery & comes back with attitude & a new defiant squinty face that things get tough! If only I could keep them locked in the house all day long... Might need to invest in an extra large hamster wheel...
WhatismyLife ·
31/01/2015 09:51
My theory on this is (especially with small age gaps) that DC 2 has less attention, from birth, than DC1. Most people will be more relaxed about parenting with DC2, plus they will have DC1 to copy/play with/ look up to.
With DC1, I used to play with her all the time and she would have 100% of my attention, so we would do a lot of calm activities like
puzzles, drawing and reading. Where as now we've got DC2, I leave them to entertain themselves, which includes a lot of running around/fighting and DC2 trying to keep up with DC1.
The thing I'm worried about is DC2 starting school. I know hes going to be that naughty kid all the teachers hate.
Thinking about it, nearly everyone I know with a small age gap, has a crazy DC2.
ohtheholidays ·
31/01/2015 10:01
I read your title and turned to my oldest and said I must have had you second then and just mixed you up with your brother
He wasn't impressed 
.My first was the same and he still pretty much is the craziest out of all 5DC!But very popular,every one seems to want to be around him.He's also grown up to be very intelligent and really hardworking.
Second DS was the most placid,well behaved,quietest little boy possible and he's still pretty much the same apart from he's grown up to have a wicked sense of humor and has everyone in stitches.
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StrikesMatches ·
31/01/2015 10:22
When people meet DS, 2nd child, 2.5yrs, they are bowled over by the madness! He's very polite and charming, and not too rough, but a total whirling dervish. DD (4.5) is much more placid. People keep telling me he's mad because he's a boy, which makes me cross because I think it's more (not exclusively) a second child thing...he hasn't a clue that he's 2yrs younger than DD and physically isn't capable of some of the things she is, so he does them anyway! Between that and the lack of pfb parenting, it's no surprise really!
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