Are all second dcs a bit crazy?

[LittleMilla]

Trying to ascertain whether my ds2 (18 mo) is just 'typical' second child or whether it's just my immediate circle of friends that have very strong willed second children?

He's Fab and we adore him but he's bloody hard work. Knocks his older brother around, generally very physical but also has a very short fuse. Had tantrums since he was 13 montha

Normal second child in everyone else's experience?

[duchesse]

DS (child 1) was mad as a box of frogs from the beginning. Never slept, needed entertaining 12 hours a day from age 2 weeks.

DD1 in contrast was a breath of easy to bring up fresh air. Never had to get cross with her much, almost always happy to negotiate and reach a compromise, bright, organised (so organised!), ambitious and sorted.

DD2 is a complete crackpot- very bright and really quite eccentric and always willful even at 17.

DD3 at 5 is showing signs of being most like DD1 (yeay!) but with a few DS and DD2 wilfulness traits. She's pretty happy to negotiate and will happily discuss anything without having a tantrum, always has. No toddler tantrum stage at all.

As with every other situation where people are trying to ascribe qualities to birth order, I have to say it's never worked in our family. DD1 is more of a stereotypical first child than DS ever was, and still is.

[CuttingOutTheCrap]

I agree with Showy, I generally don't like generalisations like this, but the 2nd children I know well all fit this (bar those with large age gaps)

[crazykat]

IME the more dcs you have the crazier they get. Dc1 will happily sit and read/colour/draw for hours, dc2 will sit for a while but then has to be up and moving, Dc3 never stops moving/dancing/running and is always singing or talking without pausing for breath. Dc4 is a tazmanian devil on speed, tbh I have no clue how he's survived to see his 2nd birthday as he's been trying to kill himself since he was 8 months old and learned to crawl. If he's not trying to get the knives from the kitchen he's climbing up the washing machine to get in the treat cupboard. Don't get me started on the tantrums, dcs2&3 had some epic tantrums but they weren't a patch on dc4, and then there's the throwing everything, hitting and kicking the older dcs.

[GrouchyKiwi]

My Mum would say that her DCs 4 and 7 were the wildest, but we're all crazy in our own ways.

[Lucyccfc]

I'm a second child and my DM will happily tell everyone that I was the worst out of the 4 of us.

Complete nutter, a world wind of energy, didn't sleep well, bossy, fussy eater etc.

I'm not much different now lol.

However, I am probably the most confident of all of us, not much fazes me and I am the one who tends to sort out any crisis that happens. I've probably been the most success one in terms of a career.

I am still bossy, fussy with food, a world wind of energy and my sleep is dreadful lol

[Annunziata]

Yes! My pfb was a perfect baby. Obviously, I assumed it was me being a fantastic mother

And then I had my DD

[CalleighDoodle]

My ds is the second (and last) child and is very strong willed! He is 3.

[SaucyJack]

Complete opposite here. DDs 1&3 are histrionic little tyrants. DD2 is relatively lazy sane in comparison.

She's also the only one that would ever just get into bed and go to sleep without a fight. Pickiest eater tho.

[pigsinmud]

Dc2 was a very chilled baby/toddler - super anxious now though.

Dc4 on the other hand - nightmare!

[Taffeta]

DC1 is the hardest work, always has been. And is now, age 11.
DC2 came out calm, fed and slept like a dream, never really did tantrums, and is an easygoing 8 yo now.

[dylsmimi]

We have a wild ds2 too. He either shouts or whispers nothing in between, his greatest game is leaping on ds1 or putting his (thankfully clean) pants on his head for everyone to laugh. Races around the house especially at bedtime and shrugs off any naughtiness with "its funny" :(
but then can be the sweetest loveliest boy ever and will cuddle ds1 gently if hes crying
i wouldn't change him for the world and am hoping lots of it is just being a toddler (clutching at straws!) but do hope he starts to sleep soon!!

[Quiero]

Yep DD is fucking bonkers. DS was no bother.

[myotherusernameisbetter]

Ds1 slept through the night while in the maternity ward - could entertain and occupy himself always and now 14, has had one attempt at a tantrum and slammed one door.

Ds2 (13) would argue black was white just for the hell of it, he fought from the moment we tried to get that first nappy on - he always slept though - needed the energy.....

he is a wonderfully caring boy and is a joy to teach apparently, but he has an opinion on everything and it's usually the opposite to everyone else's, he lives life on the highest of highs and lowest of lows - he'd cry for the moon on a stick, very hard work but wouldn't wish him any other way - love him to bits as well as his brother :)

I don't think it is 2nd children so much as last children, they put you off having any more :o

[sillymillyb]

Ds is feral too. He's an only child but I look after his nephews Monday - Friday from 7am-7pm so he has second child similarities. Seriously, I used to be a nanny. NONE of my techniques work on him!!

[LST]

You're not making me feel any better! We've just got to 1 with ds2 and I thought things would.. ya know.. start improving a bit! Seems I'm in for a tough couple of years!

[TenMinutesEarly]

Oh yes. Dd was an angel I thought I had parenting nailed. Then we had ds. We used to joke that we could hire him to the marines for torture training. He used to make this noise that was like fingernails on a chalkboard constantly. My favourite picture of him is in front of a shark in his buggy with his mouth wide open shrieking. It sums up his first two years of life.

Dd is a rule follower. Ds got told off by a lifeguard at 3 for going down the waterside backwards swiftly followed by all of the older kids in the pool. Within a minute ds had charmed the lifeguard and they were firm friends for the holiday. The older kids at the pool renamed him epic ds. He's 5 on Tuesday and has calmed down a LOT but he will always be crackers but also charming and loveable.

I always find it amazing how they can be so different and yet the love I feel for them is completely equal.

[pourmeanotherglass]

Certainly applies to my DD2!

Not universal though - I'm a second child, and I was way too shy to be crazy.

[myotherusernameisbetter]

LST - couple of years? did you not see me say that DS2 is 13???

[LST]

No myotherusername but thanks for pointing that out...

[skylark2]

As babies and toddlers? Sure.

As teens? DC2 is utterly laid-back. I have so far just about managed to dissuade DC1 from taking up skijumping.

[SantanaLopez]

1 and 3 are very similarly bonkers. 2 is lovely and chilled.

[LittleMilkNoSugar]

Yup! DS2 is as mad as a badger.

[myotherusernameisbetter]

LST if it's any consolation he's changed from mental charging about and banging his head on the pavement to get his own way to just running off at the mouth - he wouldn't move out of bed unless it was on fire or if food is on the table :o

[LittleMilla]

So reassuring to see that for the most part, ds2 is pretty standard fare!

We also thought we'd nailed parenting because of ds1 - he's the type of child that persuaded friends to have children. Just lovely. Constantly defends his feral sibling "he's not a baby, he's my brother!!!!" even when I'm disciplining him for doing something vile to him.

Ds2 is a fecking mentalist. But also has that charm! It's bloody dangerous. I'm also the second child so can also turn it on when needs be. But he even has me quaking sometimes. SO strong willed.

He was pretty easy to begin with actually. Prob started when moving. Always eaten & slept well - someone noted that they need the energy . But it's the indignant "I'll do as I please thank you very much" that gets me. Couldn't give a flying fuck about anything!

[LittleMilla]

Maybe it's the confidence from having an older sibling looking out for them, along with more chilled parents? Who knows...