AIBU to be surprised that my Wife has asked two guys out on a "Girls Night"?

[rachelmonday1]

Apologies, but this one is a bit out of the ordinary. I'm a crossdresser and my wife has known this from within weeks of us meeting, many years ago. She is very supportive and we often go shopping and have days out, with myself as "Rachel".

We bought tickets for a night out in London and booked train tickets and a hotel, but within a week of doing so, my wife mentioned it to a male friend of ours (who knows about Rachel) and he asked if he could come. My wife said yes and since then he is bringing a friend of his. We both know both of the guys from a our normal "husband and wife" circle of friends, but having them join us for our London night out is not what I would choose.

As I mentioned, it's not your average post, but you Ladies have been very helpful in the past and your views are always welcome.

Thankyou VivVivacious, as I say, times are changing at last :) We're abou tto have a chat now. Not sure who Michelle Visage is :)

Could she have just slightly misjudged? As in, she feels so comfortable with you and Rachel, and thinks it's a great opportunity for four friends to have a stonkingly good night? I agree she should have run in past you though.

Aside from that, how refreshingly lovely to hear of your relationship. If only everyone was as open/honest and live and let live eh?

Rachel is stunning I am full of admiration for the three (?) of you

So really you have 2 choices:

A) Just go with it and embrace it
Or
B) Go as the male you

Your wife is obviously very proud of you and wants to show you off. As you said she would only have made these arrangements with good intentions. Ask her next time to please run it past you before inviting friends along to your nights out together

I hope you choose A, and the 4 of you have a really great night.

Oh and 'whit woo' Rachel

Hi OP
If your night out is fancy dress what is Rachel going as?
Please please don't take offence but could Rachel slag it up a bit ie basque fishnets etc and your two best mates go in drag? Would that work do you reckon?

Sorry posted too soon...when you and the missus go out usually in a circle of friends what is the usual gender divide? Is she 'one of the lads' or is it mixed couples or a more diverse bigger group? Does she have some girlfriends who would also come to London? It strikes me that a foursome might be a bit too closed/cosy and a bigger group to have a laugh dance and get pissedight be looser.

Oh wow! I am having cheek bone envy! Rachel you look amazing. Your profile pic is gorgeous I love your clothes in it.

Did I read you were over 50??? Really I must get a make over or something I look older than you and I am only 37. I could easily dislike you if you weren't so nice (having a fat and frumpy day)

I read this post with much interest and I am so glad you got some great advice. Your wife sounds like a pretty amazing woman she loves all of you Richard and Rachel or she wouldn't have married you

I wish there were more threads like this on MN .

Hope you have a good chat, keep us posted!

lol at favourite I was thinking wheety wheel Rachel

OMG.OMG.OMG.

YOU.

DON'T.

KNOW.

WHO.

(THE GODDESS THAT IS..)

MICHELLE VISAGE IS?

I'm [shocked] - can you tell???!!!

OMG. I will soooooo educate you on this awesome woman

...and you will thank me for the intro as she is just a LEDGE!!!!!

Pissed might be looser. Stupid. Bloody. Kindle.
Hope you have a great time regardless. Think you not going as Rachel negates the point of going tbh. I had a great time dancing the night away with a best mate when everyone else called it a night but maybe your wife would like girls night to be more than the two of you...the blokes might go and cop off within half an hour in any case
Have you seen Transparent on amazon instant...I adored it. Obviously it is about being transgender as opposed to cross-dressing but one episode had a weekend where cross-dressers went on a weekend retreat, some with wives who were really supportive (which is why it was brought to mind, your wife sounds fab). It is beautifully acted and well worth a look. Just won two golden globes and was written by the woman who wrote six feet under.

I haven't been watching cbb so had no idea who michelle visage was but now I have found episodes of rupaul's drag race I am going to eat some chocolate and binge on youtube. Thank you Xxx

Oh Getting - am so so SO jealous Have already devoured all six series of RuPaul's Drag Race avail on Netflix so all gone

Enjoy

And then together we'll get Rachel up to speed!

Sep. (& I do realise we are off on a huge telly tangent here....), I haven't yet watched Transparent - should that be my next binge? Tis that or Suits? Advice appreciated

Hi Rachel, I wonder if there is a different angle to this. Maybe your friends have said to her that they would like to get to know Rachel and this is her way of bringing them into it - while you are away and there aren't other people around that you know. If I had a friend in your shoes, I would like to get to know their alter-ego too.

But if I had a night out with DH organised and he invited others I would feel annoyed that I hadn't been consulted, especially if it was somewhere I felt I let my hair down.

Hope your chat goes ok.

I haven't seen Suits. But I haven't got Netflix as it would just give me access to everything in German, something to do with copyright.
But I was able to see all of Transparent on my kindle in English for free....watched the whole series in one sitting. It was that good.
It is a drama but has some comic elements and is wonderful ensemble acting. Jeffrey Tambor is just superb. Enjoy.

May be she didn't ask you because, as you said, you normally defer to her wishes and she's used to calling the shots. Perhaps she just didn't think.

Wow! I seem to have missed a few posts last night. Thankyou all for you comments and support. It's so lovely to read them all and many with different views that I had not previously considered.

We had a brilliant chat last night and you were virtual ALL correct!!! My wifes view was that, as husband and wife, we have known the guys for a few years now and socialise a lot with them in a wider group. We sail a lot hence have quite a wide circle of friends. I told one of the guys about Rachel a couple of years ago when he was going through a bad time with his then wife, and showed him a photo. As I mentioned earlier, he was very surprised, both with the fact that I crossdress and how "good" I look. We have both talked about in on and off and he has mentioned it to the other guy (although without me knowing).

When my wife mentioned out trip, it was just in passing, but because we all get on so well already and that it is a fancy dress party, she didn't any problem with the guys coming along. She also thought it would be good to have wider circle of friends that knew about Rachel and doesn't expect the guys to be with us all evening, but agrees that they could be.

Nerves wise, we'll be bringing some voddy with us for when we're getting and we can choose on the night whether to have a drink with the guys before we leave for the party or not.

As for not asking me first.........total agreement, but was sure I'd be ok with it as I chat with anyone and everyone when out as Rachel anyway.

We're now also going for lunch with one of the guys tomorrow too!!!!!

So all in all, I'm so pleased to have posted this. Everyone is happy, allthough I'm still a little nervous. Definitely one very happy Rachel though, and thank you all ! :) xx

GettingFiggyWithIt: Sorry, I meant to answer your questions.

Yes, I suppose that my wife is a bit "one of the lads" when we're out in a group, even in a mixed couple environment. She's generally very feminine, but can hold her own with any conversation and where alchohol is concerned.

We've not yet decided what we're going to wear yet, although we do both have similar fringed dresses and had thought about flapper girls, seeing as the setting is very 1930s. I have "slagged it up" in the past, but am not keen on that idea again as it got far too much of the wrong sort of attention!

I've seen clips of Transparent, but not yet watched it as I wasn't sure whether it's a comedy or not. Now that I know, I'll take a peep :)

Yay! Glad your chat went well. I'm sure you will all look fab on your night out, whatever you wear! Have fun.

Thanks GetSober. Will keep you posted :)

Wow! That photo is lovely, blonde really suits you.
Glad the chat worked out well. Flapper style sounds awesome. I am a strictly fan and love the charleston dresses.
Not sure what the hell I was thinking inventing the term slag it up btw I know what I meant but it didn't come out right. For the record I have dressed in togas, as st trinians, in basque lab coat etc for rocky horror and all of that is fine nor makes me or anyone else a slag I meant glam it up provocatively as is your right! But I wouldn't wish unwanted attraction on anyone, reminds me too much of guy pierce in Priscilla looking utterly stunning but getting hassle. Anyway hope Rachel has a great time and that you feel relaxed.

Transparent is a 'dramedy' I think that's the phrase...there is inadvertent humour but it is more compelling/moving than

playing anything for laughs, and all the better for it.

Thankyou GettingFiggyWithIt and don't worry, I knew what you meant. All is well and I'm looking forward to tomorrow to break the ice with one of the guys :)

Yay! So glad to read your update.

Rachel is beautiful :)

Glad you're looking forward to your night out.

I missed the bit about it being fancy dress- FWIW I think it'll make it far easier as everyone will be dressed up and out of their usual role anyway.

I think your wife has picked the perfect night for your friends to meet Rachel.