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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel uncomfortable about my childs teacher moving in next door

77 replies

ButterflyUpSoHigh · 29/01/2015 10:05

I feel very uncomfortable and on edge all the time. We have lived here for 15 years. I try not to be shouty normally but need to to get my dc's ready on time for school. I feel I now can't do this.

She is a nice lady but it has totally ruined how I feel about my home.

Our walls are quite thin and I can hear them and worry they can hear us too.

OP posts:
HoldenCaulfield80 · 29/01/2015 12:25

She'll be more worried about what you think of her than judging you! We live next door to someone pretty important in my school and it was a shock at first (DH introduced himself whilst in torn pyjama bottoms and an inside-out, paint splattered t-shirtShock) and I worried what they thought of me at first. Now they're great neighbours and friends.

I think the key is to think of her as your neighbour when your at home and nothing more. Good luck! Smile

AimlesslyPurposeful · 29/01/2015 12:26

We have a teacher from DS3s school living next door. When she and her family first moved about two years ago I felt a bit funny about a teacher hearing our everyday noises and coming and goings but her husband is BONKERS!

She has far more to worry about than me! Grin

dillite · 29/01/2015 13:09

I live across my dd's TA and it really isn't that bad. Comes in useful too when dd falls ill yet again on Thursday/ Friday as she can actually see that we're at home and not on a holiday.

goldopals · 30/01/2015 06:17

I am a teacher and am surrounded by kids on all sides. I am so worried about me and do not pay attention to next door

WhenIsItHappyTime · 30/01/2015 06:32

My mate lives next door to our boss, she didnt realise until the day she moved in!
Boss is nice enough but makes comments like "x must be on her way, her lights were on when I left"
I would hate that. She can never throw a sickie can she? Hmm

hels71 · 30/01/2015 06:40

I live opposite two of the children in my school. Her mum did once half jokingly comment on what I must think of the shouting in the morning. I pointed out I could not hear it over my own nagging/yelling.......however our daughters are friends. Actually I feel far more sorry for the teacher , especially with the current trend for teachers not being allowed a life outside of school in case anyone realises we are human..

Icimoi · 30/01/2015 06:42

Could be worse. When I was a kid we lived two doors away from our headmaster. Our cat kept nicking his goldfish Blush

ToffeeCaramel · 30/01/2015 06:58

Aimlessly What does the husband do that's bonkers?

LindyHemming · 30/01/2015 07:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

littlesupersparks · 30/01/2015 07:08

I know it must feel awful right now but please don't worry! I'm a teacher and shouting just wouldn't be an issue. In fact I'm sure she's at work before you are shouting to get the kids dressed etc? I can't imagine taking in the staff room going beyond 'oh, I've moved in next to ... Family what a coincidence!' I could never ever imagine a time when I would gossip about parents - ugh!

Springcleanish · 30/01/2015 07:14

Teachers shout at their kids too! We still have the same, get up, clean teeth, eat breakfast, where's my PE kit? Have you done your homework? Sign this letter type craziness in the mornings - unless that's just my household? And we also have sex with our husbands too! I'm sure your neighbour will want a clear distiction between home and school, as you do, and to be quite honest she will have far more to talk about at school than her neighbours. Just please, please, never ask her about a school issue when at home, book an appointment in the usual way. :)

skylark2 · 30/01/2015 07:34

Really not seeing the issue. Then again, both my parents were teachers, they were good friends with many of my teachers throughout my schooldays, and I was in my mum's French class at one point.

Original poster
ButterflyUpSoHigh · 30/01/2015 07:52

Thanks everyone. It's early days yet, I am hoping to get over this. We can't afford to move so don't have much choice.

OP posts:
Caronaim · 30/01/2015 08:08

All teachers live somewhere! most will be aware a couple of pupils within their vicinity. I have two on my street, one very good girl, and another teenage boy into gangs, drinking, criminal damage, etc. In general I don't worry much about pupils I know, because I have a relationship with them. I worry more that they will point out my house to someone else who will target us just because I am a teacher.

I agree there are problems living in your catchment area, and at secondary level, the catchment area can be easily 10 miles or more across! My tampon shopping has to be carefully planned! Six months supply from a shop on the other side of the city! Also, it is difficult to buy over the counter medication in total privacy, or go to the GP, or the gym, etc.

The worst thing that has happened to a colleague of mine was to find herself giving birth in the next cubicle to a student!

Catsize · 30/01/2015 08:23

Maybe your old neighbours moved because they could hear your bedroom antics? Sounds like you didn't care because they weren't your son's teacher(s) Hmm

kim147 · 30/01/2015 08:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Nanny0gg · 30/01/2015 08:46

I think she's insane to have moved into the place where she teaches.

She really didn't think that one through...

EdSheeran · 30/01/2015 08:51

Like others have said, she probably feels as antsy as you. YANBU to feel uncomfortable though. I would too!

rocketnot · 30/01/2015 08:58

My fiance is a teacher and one of his pupils lives next door.
trust me it's equally awkward for all involved.
We don't judge them or mention it to anyone when they scream at their kids. But we would rather not be living here and it feels like we are being watched as much as they probably do.

Caronaim · 30/01/2015 09:04

nannyogg, it might not be ideal to live near where you teach, but why should teachers be restricted about where they live? A home lasts many times longer than a job, anyway. Many teachers are on short term contracts.Many schools take pupils from a wide area. it isn't feasible to ensure you are living miles away from anyone who ever is, was or ever could be a pupil, even if you could afford the transport.

claraschu · 30/01/2015 09:05

It's fine to demystify a teacher. They are just people, and I don't understand why they shouldn't be part of the community they work in. People have sex and yell at their kids; doing these things tactfully and with consideration for other people is part of being human.

ThatBloodyWoman · 30/01/2015 09:06

Have a good old shout,and break the ice.

AggressiveBunting · 30/01/2015 09:11

I am in the same netball team as someone who may well be DS's teacher next year. We go on team nights out and stuff. I'm not worried about it though- maybe I should be.

millymae · 30/01/2015 09:18

Reading this has reminded me of the holiday I had when I was in my last year at primary school.

We were staying in a small self catering complex in Cornwall that had it's own swimming pool, games room etc and my class teacher and her husband were staying there too.

it was probably the best holiday my mum and dad ever had with us children as we were all on our best behaviour!

CalamitouslyWrong · 30/01/2015 09:19

The majority of the teachers at my primary school lived in the village I lived in. It was absolutely unremarkable to meet them in the post office, etc. I don't think anyone really thought much about it. They must have all taught their neighbours' children at some point.

The only teacher might meet pupil behaviour I ever found weird was one of the young teachers at my secondary school used to go out clubbing every week to a really crap club that was very popular with all the underage 5th and 6th years. She'd always meet several of her pupils in there, while wasted and on the pull. Confused. Surely you'd just go somewhere that was actually strict about not letting kids in. (Obviously this was back in the day when you could get into nightclubs at 16, so long as you memorised the right date of birth).