Ds wants to spend the night at his girlfriend's.

[loopylou6]

On his 16th Birthday.
They are already having sex ( he is comfortable talking to me about this stuff, we're very close ) they are being sensible, her mum knows, but it just doesn't sit right with me.

wwyd?

If his GFs mum is ok with it, I would probably let him.

Seems fine to me

What is it you're worried about?

How old is she? And where are they already having sex?

Her mum approves. I'd suggest just actually checking with her unless you know that's accurate.

Otherwise I don't get your issue. But late to get prim which is kind of how its reading...?

She's 16, yes I will be checking with the mother, they're having sex at her house.
Yeah, I know it's a bit late to get ' prim' but I'm worried about pregnancy etc, he uses protection, she's on the pill, hes informed me he's read her pill leaflet and is aware of antibiotics making the pill unable to work...
I sort of know I'd be a bit U to say no, but, for some reason, it just makes me uncomfortable

Providing you speak to Mum, I'd let him go.

I'd let him go. They will have sex anyway, and better a safe place

If having them there makes you uncomfortable could they stay at yours?

I sound a right weirdo don't I
I'm also worried about him thinking I'm a hypocrite. Dh and I have been together since we where 14 and 15, and ds was born when I was 16, I just don't want that for him though

It sounds like you're uncomfortable with him having sex, not with staying over at his girlfriend's house - maybe examine your own feelings about him growing up and needing you less?

Well done on having such a loving and open relationship with him, you are very lucky, and he sounds like a responsible young man who is taking sex seriously and thoughtfully. The thing with teenagers is, they're going to "do it" - and I'd rather it be somewhere I knew, and knew my child was safe, than in some public toilet somewhere.

Just my two cents!

If they're already having sex at her house then you may as well let him stay there on his birthday. They seem to be doing the right things - pill, condoms etc.

I would definitely have a quick word with her mum, just to be sure she is actually on the pill.

You wont stop them now OP, so the best thing is to go with it, and be approachable. Otherwise you'll be kept out of the loop.

Just let him.

There's nothing to gain from not.

If they're already having sex then him sleeping there isn't going to make a blind bit of difference . It's great he trusts you enough to talk to you about these things.

Thank you everyone, and Phoenix
I think you've probably hit the nail on the head

I second what Phoenix has said about well done on your close relationship.

You're aware of what's going on in your sons sex life and he feels comfortable enough to tell you which is amazing.

Let him stay at his girlfriends place, provided her mother is fine with it. Discreetly make sure there's always a supply of condoms that he can dig into without embarrassment (ie bathroom drawer with lots in them, enough that you wouldn't notice the odd few go missing) and let him get on with it.

Congratulations, it sounds like you've raised a very sensible young man x

Ironic that on the day he's finally doing it legally you're not sure about it!

:) Thank you

The way I'm reading it, the GF is having sex with minor if he is not yet 16 therefore underage ? She is committing an offence , surely. Not sure how you stop them though !

Breakfast She's 16, not 36. There's probably only a few months difference in age. A bit heavy handed to say she's committing an offence - nobody would arrest her for this relationship.

Loopy My comment was supposed to be lighthearted, not judgey. They both sound like they have been responsible re: contraception.

Oh yes I know FightOr I didn't really mean it seriously. I realise that the young ones are all doing it, so to speak. I am hopeless about it all, having been a late starter myself

Actually the underage thing should be taken seriously my nephew is 22 now but when he was 15 he took a film o his phone of him and his 16 year old girlfriend having sex, only 3 months apart in age, he showed his friends, story goes after he showed it, he went to the loo or something and they forwarded it from his phone to all their friends.
3 days later his headteacher has contacted the police as the images are all round the school and they are both questioned, she is the one in trouble told she will be on the sex offenders register, fortunately common sense finally prevailed but only after months of waiting and questioning, and Paedophile accusations to her, horrible for both of them.

Btw I don't believe his friends forwarding it story I think he did it in a moment of Bravo not realising it would be forewarded by others then others

Np OP. I will be exactly the same when my DS is all growed up.

I'd let him but sit him down and explain exactly how hard it is raising a child. It's not hypocrisy to want your son to wait a bit for children, it's advice based on experience!

missingmum That's a somewhat different situation though - it would have been considered distributing indecent images which would be illegal in itself. If he hadn't filmed it & sent the images to his mates nobody would have been particularly bothered.

He sounds a horrible boy to have done that. It's one thing bragging but another thing to humiliate and exploit her like that. Poor girl