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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think this shop assistant was in the wrong?

58 replies

Wibblypiglikesbananas · 26/01/2015 21:08

Was in my local supermarket today. Went to pay, my daughter went to get a bag to put our items in and the assistant snapped at her, 'Please don't mess with my stuff'. I didn't say anything and paid, keen to get away from the grumpy lady behind the till. Then came the weird bit. DD (3) likes to hold till receipts after we've been shopping. She asked me if she could have it and I said yes, and I fully expected the assistant to give it to her. She wasn't handing it to me anyway - sort of holding it in front of DD. She asked her to say please. DD did. Then she asked her to say please again, but this time more loudly. DD was getting confused and started to cry. Grumpy till lady then reluctantly gave the receipt to DD and started going on about how she hadn't said please.

So - AIBU to think it wasn't her place to chastise my child? She certainly wouldn't have made me beg for the receipt and say please repeatedly! In the event, as we left, I said, firmly and politely, 'Next time, please don't discipline my child. That's my job and not yours.' And then we left, me telling DD that the lady was clearly in a bad mood (out of earshot). I'm all for good manners, it was just the nasty, goady way she was with DD that put my back up.

OP posts:

BuggerLumpsAnnoyed · 26/01/2015 21:13

YANBU. She sounds like a twat she was having a bad day.

HealthyChanges · 26/01/2015 21:14

YANBU, I would have said something to her definitely.

Original poster

Wibblypiglikesbananas · 26/01/2015 21:14

To add, this was a Wholefoods in the US that has loads of little trolleys for children to use and is hence perceived to be family friendly...

OP posts:

MrsTawdry · 26/01/2015 21:15

YANBU. Silly cow she sounds. I had similar in M&S once with some random woman stopping my buggy and telling DD off for yelling...we were making a break for the door when it happened so she actually stopped me from leaving and I said "NO. Not your place. Stand aside." and she giggled nervously and did.

Original poster

Wibblypiglikesbananas · 26/01/2015 21:20

Well done MrsT - I wish I'd said something sooner, but I was putting stuff into the bottom of the pram and didn't realise she was repeatedly asking DD immediately. She just seemed on a power trip or something. The sad thing was, we'd just been to the post office and she'd been really excited about asking for some stamps all by herself, 'like a big girl' (it wasn't busy by the way - wouldn't have done it if there was a queue).

OP posts:

MrsTawdry · 26/01/2015 21:21

Never mind Wibbly DD won't remember the nasty baggage.

PurpleSwift · 26/01/2015 21:25

Yanbu. Bless your dd

CalicoBlue · 26/01/2015 21:32

YANBU at all. I would complain.

JinglyJanglyMe · 26/01/2015 21:33

YANBU! Stupid bloody woman! I appreciate we all have bad days but that's just not on is it? Give the wee one the receipt!!!!
I had a bee in my bonnet the other day in supermarket also, my little one is 2.5 loves going to the shop for "nums".
If we aren't getting much he walks with me and pulls one of those basket things with wheels . He was picking some apples for us some of which were rejected by little mr fussy pants as they had "pleurgh" bits on them.

He was putting them back nicely and this woman was watching us tutting and muttering to her friend about letting my son bash and bruise the fruit [anger] felt like throwing an apple at her, held in childish impulse.

Continued on DS was standing next to this lady saying "hiya" she ignored him, he tried again getting louder, still no response and then a HUGE "HIIIIYYYYAAA" little hand waving and she just glowered at us.

Honestly some people

kawliga · 26/01/2015 21:57

Continued on DS was standing next to this lady saying "hiya" she ignored him, he tried again getting louder, still no response and then a HUGE "HIIIIYYYYAAA" little hand waving and she just glowered at us.

Your DS sounds very annoying. Do not let him shout at people, no matter how cute he is. It's bad manners and disrespectful. Nobody is obliged to say hello to children if they don't want to, no matter how adorable the children may look, waving their cute little hands.

I love it when children are friendly and smiley to everyone, and I always say hello back to them, but I don't think it's ok to teach children that they are entitled to have everyone find their little antics adorable.

JinglyJanglyMe · 26/01/2015 22:29

kawliga aww you didn't reply to the OP but just to my comment

I'm so happy for you to make that judgement of my son. I will decide as his mum what is bad manners and disrespectful but I thank you for your parenting advice.

(Disclaimer - for the record of bad parenting I did tell my little boy to shhht don't shout. We live in a very small friendly community and he is used to everyone saying hello to him. That was the first time a grown up hasn't said hello back to him. He was a bit baffled by it. Think he may be a little young to understand you can't say hello and expect it back every time)

ilovesooty · 26/01/2015 23:11

The assistant in the OP was rude.

As far as subsequent posts go, I agree with kawliga

bideyinn · 26/01/2015 23:15

Jeezo, I think it's perfectly fine for a 2 year old to say 'hiya'.

LaurieFairyCake · 26/01/2015 23:19

It is fine. And perfectly fine to also ignore him doing it, no ones obliged to talk to him

Nicknacky · 26/01/2015 23:20

It's fine to say hiya, but not to repeatedly shout it. And I don't like fruit touching either, yuck.

Salmotrutta · 26/01/2015 23:23

But I don't think it's perfectly fine to let your 2 year old pick up/ put back fruit from the shelves Jingly.

The fruit will get bruised - no matter how "nicely" he was inspecting them then putting them back.

You rather make it sound as if your child should be indulged.

OP - sound like you just got a grumpy lady which is a shame.

songbird · 26/01/2015 23:27

salmo What? Doesn't everyone pick up fruit and put it back if it's bruised/manky? I know I do! Why would I buy an apple I knew to be bruised?

Vycount · 26/01/2015 23:28

Op, your till lady was just being a miserable git. Next time call her on it. Hopefully there won't be a next time.
JinglyJangly - I know that fruit gets handled, but... I know it's unreasonable... I just don't want to see kids messing around with it, picking it up, putting it back. It's food that other people will buy. As for the lady ignoring his "Hiya". Well, you told him not to shout, but he obviously did and you let him repeat himself several times. You don't know what sort of day, week or year this woman has had, she didn't need to be pestered by your son. You seem just a tiny bit precious to me, but of course I'm probably completely wrong.

QuintlessShadows · 26/01/2015 23:30

You should complain, she is in the wrong job

wowfudge · 26/01/2015 23:36

Good grief - some of you have a very different view of the world! I always inspect fruit when I'm buying and often reject bruised apples, etc. They are already bruised by the way they are transported/stored/displayed, not by me putting them back. How the hell are you supposed to pick what you want without 'fruit touching'. You are not seriously suggesting I should just take any fruit, whatever the condition, are you? And don't you wash the stuff when you get home anyway?

Vycount · 26/01/2015 23:38

I know wowfudge, it's really unreasonable, but somehow it seems worse when you see a dribbly toddler playing with the produce. Normally with a parent exclaiming loudly in a "my child's so clever" voice.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 26/01/2015 23:40

Sorry but people blanking a tiny child waving and saying hello are miserable sods. Bottom line.

FightOrFlight · 26/01/2015 23:40

Till Woman was rude.

If a small child says "hiya" to me I say "hiya" back. Costs me nothing to be polite to a child who is saying hello to me.

There are some hard nosed people on here though I agree with the dislike of fruit handling

Vycount · 26/01/2015 23:42

Sometimes though one does feel like a miserable sod and the last thing on your mind is waving to small children. I can imagine times of stress when I could easily have stared blankly at a small waving child and done nothing. Op shouldn't really have let him go on at the woman and get louder should she?

hoobypickypicky · 26/01/2015 23:42

I don't want shop assistants to repeatedly demand please from my kids when they've said it already, I don't want toddlers mauling my fruit and I don't want them shouting at me for attention either.
If you let your child shout at people repeatedly you've got to accept that they might be irritated by it and ignore him.

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