To be upset at finding out DH has been searching out his female coworkers' profiles on FB for God knows what

[Menarefrommarzipan]

I discovered this while his account was open and happened across his search history (I know, I know, bad idea but his password is no secret between us. I just don't think he's aware you have a search history on there... but I digress) These women aren't his FB "friends", but they all work at the same company as he does (it's a very big company, they're not even in the same field/department so it's unlikely their paths even remotely cross during the workday) They're a handful of early 30s women, all blonde and for ease of description, "hot"- I'm brunette, early 40s, and prob wouldn't described as "hot" , I mean I'm not horrible looking- have been called "pretty" at times... I'm shaking typing thiswe've been together for almost 20 years, married for over 10-- I know men have needs and I imagine he's using these pics as inspiration for wank sessions. Guys have to do what they have to do- I get it- but I'm seething at the idea that these are REAL WOMEN he has been admiring/happened to notice in the office at one point. I could possibly see one of them at one of his work parties, who knows. It's creepy and gross, imo.

I disagree with the majority of responders, I think the OP probably has diagnosed this correctly. My take is, so what?

It's creepy and gross, imo.

Those words describe your feeling about information you shouldn't have. The fact you feel that way is not a sign that he is doing anything wrong. Feelings of roughly that sort can be applied to almost all sex going on in the world if our imagination is forced to confront it. The solution is not that the whole world should stop having sex we find gross, but that we should keep it out of our mind. One way to do that is not to invade the privacy of other people.

I have looked up Ex boyfriends etc on Facebook I in no way find them attractive in the slightest most of the time I think what a lucky escape; I am however very nosy!

Is there more to this OP? Does he have form?

I look up all sorts of randomers on Facebook and then they remind me of other randomers and I look them up. It that not what it is for? Course not I know I am nosey

I could very well be paranoid, but it's the way he distinctly searched them out by name- they are in COMPLETELY different depts than he is in- they were glitzy media types of different ranks (managers and assistants) and he mainly works w/ nerdy men (I mean that affectionately). This was no friend of friend browsing business, yes we're all nosy that way- they were all in a cluster, they're all an obviously similar type, and I do mean "hot", like WAG type hot (I'm more of a natural beauty btw, lol)...
One woman was searched for twice- the second time was at 11pm at night... It's a gut feeling, tbh.

There's loads wank fodder out there on the Internet.

It's very unlikely he is wanking over pictures of people he works with.

I don't know, it sound entirely plausible to me that he finds that more enjoyable than porn.

There used to be a battle of the sexes board game (can't remember if that was what it was called) where teams of men played against teams of women and had to answer questions about the other sex. One of the questions the women were asked was something like which do men find sexier, porn photos of completely naked women, or underwear adverts in women's magazines. Answer: underwear adverts.

I suppose my point is that men's tastes aren't quite as obvious as women think.

I understand you. If I'd come across my OH's FB and he'd just been looking up women..I'd be a bit miffed but that's it. I wouldn't think he'd been knocking one out over them.

However, I really wouldn't jump to any conclusions unless something else has made you suspicious? Has he been acting differently/stopped showing affection? I'm pretty sure if he was up to no good, you wouldn't have his passwords etc. He hasn't sent any messages to them on messenger or anything?

So where is this timed search function on fb op? .

Are you sure it's not just a 'people you may know' list that he's got a bit click-happy about?

I reckon he's just being nosy. I look up all sorts of people I'm not friends with on there - neighbours, colleagues, exes, friends of exes I knew - all sorts. It's just boredom and idle curiosity.

It's under your activity log under Filter/Search; it lists You Searched For "This Name" at so-and-so o'clock... Yes, alright, the fact I did that is not great, but I forgot to mention that the browser window was set on PRIVATE BROWSING, which it's usually not. That, to me, basically equals wanking or something else that wants to be hidden. I do feel guilty after doing that bit of digging, but got carried away w/ the whole scenario.

Ahhh you were digging then op? maybe he does have a crush on one in particular but what can you do? Im sure you have those feelings about other men, whether real life or in movies/tv.
If his behaviour has changed and he guardianing his phone with his life then yes, be suspicious but otherwise let it go

Menarefrommarzipan - are you normally quite insecure? Was there a reason you were checking his behaviour on FB?

So IABU? I see this as being similar to finding his private journal (if he did keep one) left out and open to a page that had these names and photos written on it-- one of them twice... And you wouldn't be tempted to look?

If my DH viewed my search history he'd see a whole random assortment of male names of men I've known. I'm just bloody nosey. Not the slightest bit interested in them now just want to make sure their partners aren't stunning It's a curiosity think rather than a cheating thing. Fine to be upset but it doesn't have to mean what you think it means.

I think a journal is personal - no way that I'd look at it

FB is less personal than that, more like looking through a local paper to see what people have been up to, but if you had to put a password in to look at it you were snooping.

I think that the general consensus is that you are being quite over sensitive - sorry.

I don't think your being paranoid OP. I think given the fact that they are all similar looking woman rather than a random nosey at work colleagues I think it's likely that he does fancy them and that's why he's looking at their profiles, I'd be upset at this too, possibly more upset than at fancying celebrities who DH is never likely to meet. However there's a big gulf between what he's doing and actually being unfaithful so unless he's got form for straying I'd try and put it out of your mind and if you can't have a chat to him about it.

You've said one of the issues is he searched for them by name unless I'm missing something that's the only way to search