To be upset at finding out DH has been searching out his female coworkers' profiles on FB for God knows what

[Menarefrommarzipan]

I discovered this while his account was open and happened across his search history (I know, I know, bad idea but his password is no secret between us. I just don't think he's aware you have a search history on there... but I digress) These women aren't his FB "friends", but they all work at the same company as he does (it's a very big company, they're not even in the same field/department so it's unlikely their paths even remotely cross during the workday) They're a handful of early 30s women, all blonde and for ease of description, "hot"- I'm brunette, early 40s, and prob wouldn't described as "hot" , I mean I'm not horrible looking- have been called "pretty" at times... I'm shaking typing thiswe've been together for almost 20 years, married for over 10-- I know men have needs and I imagine he's using these pics as inspiration for wank sessions. Guys have to do what they have to do- I get it- but I'm seething at the idea that these are REAL WOMEN he has been admiring/happened to notice in the office at one point. I could possibly see one of them at one of his work parties, who knows. It's creepy and gross, imo.

Hmmmmm I must get fb sometime soon

oh dear lord if fh saw my search history! Mines old boyfriends, random hot blokes, I searched hotdoctor on instagram and screenshotted them to my best friend yesterday
(She's going in for a minor op and was cheering her up)
Trouble is with search histories is you kind of get an unfiltered view of their mind in a brief moment of time- my search history alsocontains chicken pie recipes, lunge exercises and erm ...Taylor swift.
Dont sweat it op

Oh OK I've been swayed. Its innocent. Its not much to go on really is it?

Taylor swift my guilty pleasure too!

Yeah shake it off op.

I have just FB stalked someone who I may be working with in the future. He is an attractive man, younger than me. I can assure you it wasn't for wank material. It's because it's a good way to find out what makes him tick. In his case it's Arsenal

I think you need to calm down

So, where's the search history?

his password is no secret between us is very significant to me. If I was up to no good I'd change my password so my DH could not check up on me. It seems your DH is open with you so stop being paranoid, we all look up people of Facebook.

i really wouldnt worry OP! ive looked at loads of peoples facebook pages, men & women but im just nosey & yes very sad but im very very happy in my r/ship, dnt fancy anyone else or want to have an affair. i end up on my sisters page then on her friends, then on one of their cousins and before you know it im looking on someones facebook page that i dont know from adam! i wouldnt want anyone in real life to know i do this because i dont want anyone to know im a sado with nothing better to do - not cus im planning an affair etc!

I think I'd be a bit miffed if I were you, particularly if he is mostly looking up women. But in the grand scheme of things, I don't think this is really a big deal. Unless you've got some other reason to worry, I think you should just forget about it.

Honestly, he's just being nosy by the sounds of things. It is kind of weird sometimes when you see the whole 'other life' of colleagues online (not a snooper - I have friended people on leaving a job and seen another side to them).

I think you should consider why you feel like you're second-best next to these 'hot blonde' women to the point that you are almost physically ill on discovering that he has seen their picture.

Agree with the others. Most likely to just be being nosy!
Why do you think he's wanking over them???

I forget colleagues' names sometime. Facebook is jolly useful for putting a name to a face.

I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt and assuming that either he has form, or he's been up to something suspicious. People don't generally masturbate over holiday mugshots. Or pictures of people's pets

Over reaction or what OP. He is just a nosy so and so.

does he work at Spearmint Rhino? No? Then YABU.

You were right in your title ' for God knows what' - because you don't know why he's looking. My money is on good old fashioned nosiness, who hasn't googled someone?

This is more about how you feel, than what he's doing. He might not have searched his male colleagues but maybe he talks to them more, knows them better? Or does he have form?

I can believe he might well be just looking at attractive female colleagues, but... I dunno, I feel sort of uncomfortable about the idea that we should police our partners' every fleeting attraction in a relationship. I'm sure my husband has the odd crush on other women. I know I've had several crushes on other men, but I love my husband and I know I wouldn't ever act on them. If you don't trust your husband like that, I think that's the bigger problem.

I'm not sure if 'nosy' is quite the right word ... more 'pervy' really. Nosy might cover it if he were looking at male and female, young and old. Hot blond 30 somethings only is a fairly narrow 'nosing' field.

However - it seems a massive leap to get to the wanking comment. Why do you think this?

The last few people I have searched (stalked) on FB have been blokes. I have not wanked over any of their pictures.

I've almost always got a crush on the go

... And surely there are better images on the web if he does want a good old tommy tank?

It's facebook. Not tinder ffs. He's being nosy about their lives.

If he was looking for wanking material there's better bloody places than Fb!!!

I wouldn't think Facebook is the go to place for wankfodder tbh, not if my feed is anything to go by.

I know men have needs and I imagine he's using these pics as inspiration for wank session

More likely he's working out where they stand between him and his next promotion.

YABU

'What action movie hero are you?', photos of pets, sunrises, drinks, kids.. Comments about Celebrity Big Brother and some bollocks about how Facebook steals your thoughts and sells them to the CIA.

Wank fodder it ain't.