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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Or is OH overthinking this? re middle name for new baby

65 replies

Mammanat222 · 26/01/2015 09:21

I have my heart set on a middle name and OH won't agree to it as it will make her initials BJ (surname C)

Does he have a point? Or is he just being silly?

His initials are also BJ and he said its been picked up on over the years when he was secondary school age?

What do we think?

OP posts:
Original poster
Mammanat222 · 26/01/2015 09:22

Ps obviously BJ is acronym for blow job here.

Personally I never use my middle name and that is the point I am trying to hammer home.

OP posts:
WhyNotSmile · 26/01/2015 09:24

Could you reverse the order of the madness but then use the middle name? So the name is JB but you use B as the main name?

JustMarriedBecca · 26/01/2015 09:28

My initials first and last are BJ. That's way worse. Particularly as I'm a lawyer and BJ goes out as my initials on all correspondence.

Phone rings
'Can I speak to the lawyer dealing with the file ref BJ/XXXXX'
snigger

kaykayred · 26/01/2015 09:28

Giving your daughter the initials BJ is basically pinning a neon sign to her saying "Please bully me".

Please don't do it.

firesidechat · 26/01/2015 09:29

When we were trying out baby names we looked at all the ways you could make fun of someone with a particular name. That included shortened names, lengthened names and initials. I'm with your husband on this one.

TranquilityofSolitude · 26/01/2015 09:31

I don't recommend changing the order of names. I am called by my middle name and it causes all sorts of problems.

loudarts · 26/01/2015 09:32

Sorry I'm with your husband too.

SaucyJack · 26/01/2015 09:32

All of my post from both my bank and housing dept. comes address to Miss AJ Saucysurname. I imagine the BJ joke would get old very, very quickly.

Serafinaaa · 26/01/2015 09:33

The letters BJC are used by the British Juggling Convention. I've never thought of it as the BJ convention!

BerniceBroadside · 26/01/2015 09:35

Don't do it. That would be a dreadful thing to intentionally do to a child.

If you love the name add another so the child is B X J surname?

Whippet81 · 26/01/2015 09:36

I don't think you can eliminate every little thing that kids are going to be picked on for but no - I wouldn't give her the initials BJ. The names I wanted for DS I would have given him the initials FOC so I added another one in.

firesidechat · 26/01/2015 09:36

I don't recommend changing the order of names. I am called by my middle name and it causes all sorts of problems.

Agree with this too. We have friends who have two children and they have both been called by their middle names since birth. The number of times I have sat with them in a and e (a whole other story) or similar and they have totally ignored someone calling out their child's name. Why do this? The first name should surely be the one you love the most and actually plan to call your child.

Haggisfish · 26/01/2015 09:37

We avoided bj as initials by adding another name between them.

SophieBarringtonWard · 26/01/2015 09:38

Don't make her middle name the name you actually want to call her, DH is known by his middle name & it is a pain in the arse.

Marylou62 · 26/01/2015 09:38

Please, as someone who was horrendously bullied because of my name, don't deliberately name her this...and my DCs are all grown up and what their middle names are doesn't really matter now....

SaucyJack · 26/01/2015 09:40

Also, there's the potential in later life for an even worse initial/surname combo if she gets married and takes her husband's surname.

BJ Daley
BJ

PatriciaHolm · 26/01/2015 09:41

He's got direct experience, and it was unpleasant; he doesnt want that for your daughter. Why won't you listen to him?

Don't do it!

Groovester · 26/01/2015 09:41

I had exactly the same concerns re: my son. His initials are BJ. Husband told me not to overthink things. Loved the first name and the J is a family name so we went with it. Time will tell!

Artandco · 26/01/2015 09:41

Add another middle name
So she is B extra name J C

BlueThursday · 26/01/2015 09:41

Another no to switching around first and middle names. My dad has this problem and it can cause trouble eg his work booking a flight for him only for the ticket not to match his passport, things like that

JustCallMeDory · 26/01/2015 09:42

OP the names we wanted to give DS would give the first two initials of BJ - we opted to give him two middle names so now his initials are B X J Surname (although not actually 'X' Smile )

Could this be an option?

dexter73 · 26/01/2015 09:42

My dd's middle names are the initials BJ. I never thought about what the initials could be mistaken for when we named her. She has never been bullied about it and actually thinks it is quite funny (she is 17 so does know what it refers to!).

Floggingmolly · 26/01/2015 09:43

How can he be overthinking it when you say he has personal experience of the negative side of this? Confused Listen to him.

AlmaMartyr · 26/01/2015 09:44

I wouldn't. Can you add in another middle name in front of the J? Lots of people have two middle names (I do) and it's not a problem.

Thumbwitch · 26/01/2015 09:45

As your DH has direct experience of this, I'd listen to him.
I know when we were at school we used to take pains to discover middle initials and see if we could make anything funny or rude out of them. I don't recall actually picking on anyone for it, but one boy had the middle name of Valentine, which provoked much hilarity for a few days.

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