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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to let my kids try out beds with their shoes on in Ikea?

160 replies

firsttimetwins · 25/01/2015 19:33

We were in Ikea today because we need beds for the kids. My daughters (5) wanted to take their shoes off to try out the display beds (not just the matresses, the actual beds, so some had duvets etc. on them) but I asked them to keep them on. I wasn't sure exactly what was best, but in the end my thinking was that we would either lose the shoes or someone would trip over them, plus to be honest I couldn't be bothered with the hassle. Then, when one of my daughters was trying out a bed, an older woman came past and snapped at my daughter (not to me) "You've got your outdoor shoes on! You can't do that!" I responded to the woman myself, saying that I had told my daughter to keep them on because I felt that the store expects the exhibition furniture to get dirty. I was cross about the fact that the woman spoke angrily to my daughter, especially given that she had wanted to take her shoes off in the first place and I'm not having her feel that she got a row from a stranger because of my poor decision-making, but I don't know whether we were in fact in the wrong. So I'm looking for opinions on furniture-testing etiquette, I guess (the fact that I was raging with the woman is another thing altogether...)

OP posts:
Aeroflotgirl · 26/01/2015 08:09

Yabvvu. Do you Keep your shoes on in bed at home op!

MrsItsNoworNotatAll · 26/01/2015 08:22

Exactly Fringe

The woman could've simply kept out of it. What the Fuck was it to her if the child still had shoes on.

Becles · 26/01/2015 08:33

Yes YWBU

MrsPeterQuill · 26/01/2015 08:34

I wonder how many of the posters agreeing with the OP make people take their shoes off before they can come in their house.

firesidechat · 26/01/2015 09:03

I've just written to Ikea to ask them to produce an etiquette manual for their stores! Unless there already is one? Anyone know? There are always loads of things I'm unsure of when I'm there, like today I didn't know whether I could plug in a night light to see how bright it was (I couldn't find anyone to ask, and I'm not telling you whether I did or not in case it was the wrong thing to do!) so I would find an idiots' guide really helpful, and since not everyone felt I was being outrageous in trying out the beds, but some people did, then it is clearly not the case that everyone else in the whole world gets this stuff except me. I'll let you know if they agree to do it so we can all be on the same page!

I was just about buying this thread (ignoring the blaring alarm bells) but this isn't true is it op? Hmm Go on, admit it.

No grown up would be so dim as to need actual advice on this.

As for those agreeing that they wouldn't remove shoes, I'm Shock.

fluffyraggies · 26/01/2015 09:05

I don't understand the problem at all here Confused

Etiquette manual?

Lighting for sale in any shop is displayed, lit up, in the display area. What were you trying to plug in? One from inside it's packaging? Where were you plugging it?

As for the beds - no i wouldn't let my kids get in or jump on the beds in a shop. Especially with their shoes on. If we wanted to try out the mattress we'd go to the mattress trying out bit.

The reason? - I think that it's so much easier for kids to understand good behavior when you stick to the basic rules where ever you are. You wouldn't want your kids climbing into bed in their shoes in any other circumstance, so just take the extra effort and always expect basic manners and consideration for people and 'stuff'.

firesidechat · 26/01/2015 09:07

Oh and just because some people do it doesn't make it ok. Some people steal and don't insure their cars. That's not ok either.

Where did all the common sense go.

OnlyLovers · 26/01/2015 09:11

I guess you don't open and close the drawers in a display kitchen before you buy it either

Not if I've got my outdoor hand-shoes on, no.

kaykayred · 26/01/2015 09:14

You were being totally unreasonable. Letting your child get their dirty shoes onto the clean sheets? That's not even a question you should have to ask yourself "hey, shall I take off these shoes, or shall I get this duvet dirty and make some poor sod have to wash it just because I was too lazy to hold a pair of shoes".

I also love how so many people will trot out the "IT TAKES A VILLAGE TO RAISE A CHILD" line, but then get a massive arse ache when someone actually disciplines their child.

If you let your child do something that pretty much everyone else considers rude or unreasonable, then you have to deal with the fact that they will get told off. It's how society works. It's the same reason why people will take a lost child to the announcement desk, grab a child by the scruff of the neck if necessary to prevent them from running in front of a car, and anything else. Generally speaking, most people in society keep an eye open for other people's children, and that also means telling them off when they are behaving like dicks.

A young kid (maybe 8 or 10) deliberately grabbed my friends boob once on the bus. She was so furious she even scared me with her: "OI. YOU. You do NOT touch STRANGERS. That is UNACCEPTABLE" The kids mum was sitting right next to her son and she nodded and said to her son "See? I told you."

I guess if that had been you would have been outraged, and clutched your precious angel to your bosom to protect her from such an unreasonable cow?

MrsItsNoworNotatAll · 26/01/2015 10:07

I think we are forgetting that the op's kid actually wanted to take her shoes but it was op who told her to keep them on. Then the poor bugger gets snapped at by in my opinion, an interfering bint that shouldn't be on the bed cos she's got her shoes on. The very fucking shoes she wanted to take off!!
Did the woman need to snap at her? I think not.

MrsItsNoworNotatAll · 26/01/2015 10:26

It's knowing when to butt in and say something. Fair enough if kid is being a dick or is doing something that endangers them or others then yes, speak up but in this case, where the kid wasn't there was no need for that woman to say anything to her.

JessieMcJessie · 26/01/2015 10:44

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2413685/Everyday-goings-IKEA-Children-urinating-furniture-people-sleeping-want.html

Pretty sure IKEA couldn't care less about shoes OP, least of their worries! And to the person who suggested that display bedding is resold, what utter nonsense. The stuff in bargain corner will be damaged packets or maybe missing a pillowcase or something but no way they'd sell used stuff.

OP, you're in Scotland right? better get used to little old ladies telling your kids how to behave, it's in the national character (and we're better for it)Grin

ToysRLuv · 26/01/2015 11:14

I have worked at Ikea, and as far as I know (was years ago and in the office firniture department, so could be wrong) when they change the displays they sell everything there unless too badly damaged. Display bedding is no more "used" than a display sofa and can be bunged in a washing machine. A lot of the display stuff is bought by the staff before it hits bargain corner.

MiaowTheCat · 26/01/2015 11:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
firsttimetwins · 27/01/2015 20:09

Gosh, I am glad many of you have Mumsnet to expel all your vitriol. I would hate to think what would happen to you if you had no other outlet for it. The level of anger over something that is, essentially, totally trivial, is quite stunning and I assume you use this forum as a means of getting rid of it. I was waiting for someone to trot out the "it takes a whole village" argument. Somehow I feel this was coined before the notion that someone might tell off a child in a huge multinational furniture store arose. I am all for someone disciplining my child if a) I am not there to do it and b) IT IS A MATTER THAT NEEDS DISCIPLINE. Neither of which were the case, so if any of you ever try and discipline my child in real life in such a situation, you will be getting a piece of my mind. Incidentally, we are a shoes-off household, so it is just as strange for my kids to be walking over rugs in their shoes as it is for them to be trying out beds in them. Perhaps Ikea should provide those plastic covers for shoes like some swimming pools do for spectators, then there would be no problem with dirty shoes on the rugs. And to the poster who said she had told adults off for standing on bathmats in their shoes, I WISH I had been there to see that. And the poster who suggested I see my GP: do you think she would know more about Ikea etiquette? Sounds like an excellent use of NHS resources to me!
Oh, and incidentally, I have so far received an automated mail from Ikea telling me they will respond as soon as they can, and I will keep you posted.
Now, I'm off to find a child chewing with its mouth open so I can discipline it, because that is simply disgusting, shouldn't be allowed, and I feel the whole village should TEACH THAT CHILD SOME MANNERS Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
firsttimetwins · 27/01/2015 20:13

Now that I think about it, why don't Ikea do that?? It would keep everything much cleaner.

OP posts:
Original poster
firsttimetwins · 27/01/2015 20:17

kaykayred, you reckon getting a shoe on some display furniture is the same as running in front of a car or physically assaulting someone? Enjoying your sense of perspective!

OP posts:
Alisvolatpropiis · 27/01/2015 20:18

Op - AIBU?
Everyone - Yes
Op - you're all horrible and bitter and nasty and have no sense of perpsectice and most importantly are wrong.

Original poster
firsttimetwins · 27/01/2015 20:24

Surely that's the whole point of AIBU?! Plus opinions seem to be pretty much evenly divided on my actual question. The question was nothing to do with the silly old cow telling my child off, the question was about the beds...

OP posts:
Londonladybird · 27/01/2015 20:24

Not read full thread... Was At ikea last week, kids all over furniture, sofas chairs, beds no shoes were off. Plenty of staff around, none were bothered. Neither would I be bothered if I child I did not know climbed in a bed that was not mine, and I was not going to be buying -as it's the display one!

beanlovesb · 27/01/2015 20:28

oh dear op this thread is craaaaazy! it is not at all unreasonable! like many other people have said, the display beds ARE there to be tested, otherwise why would they have big labels telling you what the mattress is?! If they wanted you to take your shoes off I'm sure there would be a sign for it. when my partner and I were bed shopping we got into one of the beds! haha I'm sure a few PPs would have hated us!! It's utter nonsense all the people being outraged with you, so long as your children know (which I'm sure they do) that the rules in ikea don't apply at home, or in anyone else's home, then I don't see what the issue is. And I agree with you that it's rude for a random stranger to tell off your child. What if your child had SEN? It's interfering and arrogant of anyone to assume that they can tell off a stranger's child, if anything approach the parent. Don't worry about it and ignore the cray cray posters!

Original poster
firsttimetwins · 27/01/2015 20:32

Cheers beanlovesb. That's the thing though, there seems to be enough outrage here for me to begin to doubt the idea that the stuff is there to be tried out! I realise people think I'm taking the piss about having mailed Ikea but I would genuinely like to know what the store thinks about it.

OP posts:
Notso · 27/01/2015 20:38

I've just written to Ikea to ask them to produce an etiquette manual for their stores!...

Just ask your DD, she seems to know better than you.

ithoughtofitfirst · 27/01/2015 20:43

Is this thread a joke? No one actually sleeps in those beds. Who gives a shit!

Original poster
firsttimetwins · 27/01/2015 20:44

Notso and better than roughly 50% of the other posters, it would seem. Have remembered what my other half said when we discussed the shoe issue: "You can't have them take their shoes off, people are walking all over the place in their outdoor shoes, they would get filthy!"
As I said, we're a shoes-off household. I'd be as disgusted with you walking on my rugs with your shoes on as I would with you lying on my bed. As would my DD.

OP posts: