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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to let my kids try out beds with their shoes on in Ikea?

160 replies

firsttimetwins · 25/01/2015 19:33

We were in Ikea today because we need beds for the kids. My daughters (5) wanted to take their shoes off to try out the display beds (not just the matresses, the actual beds, so some had duvets etc. on them) but I asked them to keep them on. I wasn't sure exactly what was best, but in the end my thinking was that we would either lose the shoes or someone would trip over them, plus to be honest I couldn't be bothered with the hassle. Then, when one of my daughters was trying out a bed, an older woman came past and snapped at my daughter (not to me) "You've got your outdoor shoes on! You can't do that!" I responded to the woman myself, saying that I had told my daughter to keep them on because I felt that the store expects the exhibition furniture to get dirty. I was cross about the fact that the woman spoke angrily to my daughter, especially given that she had wanted to take her shoes off in the first place and I'm not having her feel that she got a row from a stranger because of my poor decision-making, but I don't know whether we were in fact in the wrong. So I'm looking for opinions on furniture-testing etiquette, I guess (the fact that I was raging with the woman is another thing altogether...)

OP posts:
Samcro · 25/01/2015 21:51

wow
all I can say is ybu
and like bollocks this happened

NeedABumChange · 25/01/2015 21:54

YABU and a bit scummy.

morethanpotatoprints · 25/01/2015 21:56

YABU

The only person you should be raging with is yourself.
It is your fault the woman spoke to your daughter.
I'm sure your dd will not go through life without receiving the odd snap, especially if you don't socialise her.

myotherusernameisbetter · 25/01/2015 21:59

How can you test how bright a night light is in a fully lit store? or did you plug it in inside a cupboard?

babewiththepower · 25/01/2015 22:03

Oh dear. We lay on the beds in Ikea all the time. Everyone in the tottenham store does, we have had 5 adults in one bed before. That round one especially gets tried out. We sit on the sofa's, at the tables, get in the shower cubicles. I've seen kids all over the displays but never seen anyone ever take their shoes off. Confused

ToysRLuv · 25/01/2015 22:16

Sympathise on not finding anyone to ask. Weekends are busy. But do you really need a manual? Never had that requested. Most people get by using common sense. Others.. not so much, but they don't care.

hiccupgirl · 25/01/2015 22:37

I was in our local IKEA today looking at beds for my 5 yr old DS.

If I'd asked him to take his shoes off first he would have been the odd one out from all the other people lying on the beds with their shoes on. Seriously it was heaving and I didn't see a single person take their shoes off before lying on beds, sofas etc.

So YANBU OP in my experience of IKEA. Maybe we were in the same one Grin

PopularNamesInclude · 25/01/2015 22:49

Yanbu. i have seen plenty of shoes on Ikea display beds.

wheresthelight · 25/01/2015 22:55

YABVU for allowing your kids all over the beds with shoes on. I would also have spoken to your daughter and asked her to get off the bed with her shoes on. I doubt the woman was as rude as you make out and its more likely you took it hard as you know you are at fault for allowing it. If a friend mentioned they had got a new bed and said 'lay down and see how comfy it is' would you take your shoes off then? I would hope so.

IF the woman who spoke to your daughter was as abrupt as you claim, then she was out of order HOWEVER your children should not have had their shoes on whilst trying out the beds

waithorse · 25/01/2015 22:56

YABU.

PopularNamesInclude · 25/01/2015 23:01

You are also nbu for being annoyed at some random stranger telling off your child for something utterly trivial that did not concern her.

Dragonfly71 · 25/01/2015 23:09

I would be hacked off at a random stranger telling my child off for something that minor so Yanbu. I don't think IKEA expect people to take their shoes off either. I'm really surprised so many think yabu! I must brush up on my ikea etiquette ??.

Starlightbright1 · 25/01/2015 23:13

Well My DS had a lie in most the beds last year...He did take his shoes off...We were buying a new bed and planned to make it fun... I got him to imagine what it was like sleeping in the beds.. I has someone tut at us for reasons clearly explained in this thread but when we buy the next bed we shall do the same.

MrsDmitriTippensKrushnic · 26/01/2015 00:00

No, no etiquette manual. Displays are called 'touch and feel' for a reason - there is absolutely NO PROBLEM with sitting or laying on displays, opening and closing doors, moving things around to see what they look like. Unofficially though - when you look and touch and play around, have consideration for the people coming after you, don't remove price or location tags, don't take displays away, don't leave dirty nappies hidden behind stock, don't wipe your nose on things other people might want to buy Smile

Fuckmath · 26/01/2015 00:06

Yabu, it's shoes off IMO

ChippingInLatteLover · 26/01/2015 00:15

Etiquette manual.

Would you like one for each shop you go to?

Seriously, if you struggle this much you need to talk to your GP.

JakeShit · 26/01/2015 00:15

Yabu.

I don't like it when kids go inside shopping trolleys with their shoes on either.

SweetsForMySweet · 26/01/2015 00:20

YWBU.

feelingunsupported · 26/01/2015 00:44

Op I wouldn't have taken ds' shoes off either. I can't get worked up about it tbh I've sat in a bath in ikea with my shoes on so probably not a good one to ask though

KatieKaye · 26/01/2015 06:26

YWBU not to gave the common sense to take her shoes off.
The woman was quite okay to comment on it. She saw a child behaving badly and no parent doing anything about it.

Given the amount of "shoes off" homes, it's rank to lie on a bed with shoes on.

Quitethewoodsman · 26/01/2015 06:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Camolips · 26/01/2015 07:13

This and other threads always makes me wonder why swathes of this generation of children seem to be such sensitive and precious flowers who are not allowed to be admonished by strangers. Whether the 'random' person is right or wrong it's not illegal for them to voice their opinion, it's the way the parent reacts that turns it into an issue. Is it too much to talk to your child e.g. 'Yes, the lady was right, I shouldn't have let you do xxx ' or 'Some people think that's not right but in our family we think that's ok' etc.

MrsPeterQuill · 26/01/2015 07:32

Etiquette manual? Hmm

For Christ's sake OP, use your common sense.

Or maybe ask your five year old as she seems to have more than you.

FringeDivision · 26/01/2015 07:35

I disagree with people correcting the behaviour of other people's kids unless the child is in danger or their behaviour directly affects you (and the parents are ignoring it).

Whether your child wore shoes or not was no business of the woman.

Mixtape · 26/01/2015 07:58

Also shoes are always preferable to someone's ACTUAL FEET.

I don't like feet.