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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to let my kids try out beds with their shoes on in Ikea?

160 replies

firsttimetwins · 25/01/2015 19:33

We were in Ikea today because we need beds for the kids. My daughters (5) wanted to take their shoes off to try out the display beds (not just the matresses, the actual beds, so some had duvets etc. on them) but I asked them to keep them on. I wasn't sure exactly what was best, but in the end my thinking was that we would either lose the shoes or someone would trip over them, plus to be honest I couldn't be bothered with the hassle. Then, when one of my daughters was trying out a bed, an older woman came past and snapped at my daughter (not to me) "You've got your outdoor shoes on! You can't do that!" I responded to the woman myself, saying that I had told my daughter to keep them on because I felt that the store expects the exhibition furniture to get dirty. I was cross about the fact that the woman spoke angrily to my daughter, especially given that she had wanted to take her shoes off in the first place and I'm not having her feel that she got a row from a stranger because of my poor decision-making, but I don't know whether we were in fact in the wrong. So I'm looking for opinions on furniture-testing etiquette, I guess (the fact that I was raging with the woman is another thing altogether...)

OP posts:

SoonToBeSix · 25/01/2015 20:30

Yes of course yabu.

Original poster

firsttimetwins · 25/01/2015 20:33

DuckandCat, there was certainly no stamping, climbing or back-flipping going on!

OP posts:

Christmasbargainshopper · 25/01/2015 20:33

YANBU Everyone lies on the beds and sits on the sofas without taking their outdoor clothes off in our one.

NB letting your kids jump across them is frowned upon though

VivaLeBeaver · 25/01/2015 20:33

My brother works in ikea. Can't imagine he'd give a shit about shoes on beds.

WorraLiberty · 25/01/2015 20:35

All she said to the kid was "You've got your outdoor shoes on, you can't do that".

At what point did people get so precious, about other people saying something so simple to their kids?

Singleandproud · 25/01/2015 20:35

I've not done it furniture shopping, but if we're going somewhere my DD (5) will likely end up having her feet on the seat eg long train rides I just put her ballet shoes in my bag they fold up nice and small and you could use a small pair of slippers, means her feet are protected but aren't her outdoor shoes so won't dirty anything. We also do this at soft play and at parties where there's bouncy castles etc.

ToysRLuv · 25/01/2015 20:36

I used to work at Ikea and would not have appreciated it. The departments can't change sheets on beds all the time.

Original poster

firsttimetwins · 25/01/2015 20:36

So now can I ask those of you who are outraged, just out of interest, would you honestly have felt the need to reprimand a random five-year-old for trying out a bed with shoes on? Honestly? Is it really worth your breath? Not that that was my question, my question was purely whether it's ok to keep shoes on, but now I am intrigued.

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ChippingInLatteLover · 25/01/2015 20:37

Ikea or Harrods I'd never let children get on the bed with their shoes on. I'd only lay on a bed with shoes on if it had a plastic strip on the bottom.

How hard would it have been to hold the children's shoes for a few minutes? Surely they were trying out one or two beds under your supervision?!

Mind you, maybe not under your supervision if someone else felt the need to tell your children off directly...

Just because it's Ikea it isn't a licence to let children run around doing whatever.

MyFriendlyDaemon · 25/01/2015 20:37

YABU. Can't imagine how you thought this was ok. And it is your fault your child got a ticking off.

MrsDmitriTippensKrushnic · 25/01/2015 20:38

^I can't see the problem with leaving shoes on.
It's IKEA not John Lewis^

And what does that mean - the more a store charges, the better behaved and more considerate you are?

MrsDmitriTippensKrushnic · 25/01/2015 20:39

Stupid italics fail. bend damn you

ToysRLuv · 25/01/2015 20:40

I wouldn't say anything. I almost never interfere with anything kids do unless it's dangerous. Not worth the potential grief from parents etc.

ChippingInLatteLover · 25/01/2015 20:40

Probably, yes. If the kid looked unaccompanied I'd tell them not to do it. If the parent was there I'd probably just shoot them a look.

ScrambledEggAndToast · 25/01/2015 20:42

YANBU, what a stupid woman. They are display beds in a shop, I would never think to take shoes off if I was trying one out (unless super muddy).

MrsDmitriTippensKrushnic · 25/01/2015 20:44

Cross posted - I have never told a 5yo old off for anything in store (I do work in IKEA btw), even when parents have asked me too do your own parenting but I have told adults off for standing on bathmats in outdoor shoes and asked them not to let their DC climb on things, whether in shoes or not. There's lots of annoying things that customers do that I don't bother saying things about but that does bug me

Mixtape · 25/01/2015 20:46

YANBU in my opinion. Also, I don't mind people telling my DC's off but in the circumstances you describe if it had been an employee I would have ignored it, why anyone else would bother getting involved in such a minor thing is beyond me. If your DD was attempting to break something then yes but honestly!

SacredHeart · 25/01/2015 20:59

If I try a bed I take my shoes off or hang them over the edge - it's just not nice to put your outdoor shoes on soft furnishings. I think consistency for children is good - shoes don't go on beds or sofas regardless of where you are.

If I saw a child with no adults around I may speak to them, probably not if it looked as though a parent was close.

Original poster

firsttimetwins · 25/01/2015 21:18

I've just written to Ikea to ask them to produce an etiquette manual for their stores! Unless there already is one? Anyone know? There are always loads of things I'm unsure of when I'm there, like today I didn't know whether I could plug in a night light to see how bright it was (I couldn't find anyone to ask, and I'm not telling you whether I did or not in case it was the wrong thing to do!) so I would find an idiots' guide really helpful, and since not everyone felt I was being outrageous in trying out the beds, but some people did, then it is clearly not the case that everyone else in the whole world gets this stuff except me. I'll let you know if they agree to do it so we can all be on the same page!

OP posts:

Original poster

firsttimetwins · 25/01/2015 21:19

I also apologised in my e-mail for potentially being out of order letting DD keep her shoes on...

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ItsAllKickingOffPru · 25/01/2015 21:24

We buy our beds from an independent store and they actively encourage you to try out the beds, never mentioning shoes. They even told DS to jump up and down on our last bed to try it out

vindscreenviper · 25/01/2015 21:40

I've just written to Ikea to ask them to produce an etiquette manual for their stores!

place marking in case they send you a reply.

ToysRLuv · 25/01/2015 21:47

All lights should be on display in the lighting department or other relevant department. If a display light is not working, or has been removed for some reason, ask for assistance.

ghostyslovesheep · 25/01/2015 21:49

please OP for the love of cheese - GET A HOBBY

Original poster

firsttimetwins · 25/01/2015 21:50

Exactly, ToysRLuv, just what they could be putting in their etiquette manual! Does such a thing exist? You said you used to work for Ikea. Except, as I stated, I couldn't find anyone to ask!

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