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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to refuse to serve coffee to a 10 year old?

252 replies

ScarlettDarling · 24/01/2015 15:41

Ds just been to an outdoor sledging place for his birthday party. Three of his best friends have come back here and as they're all freezing I offered them hot chocolate. One said he didn't like it and asked could he have coffee instead.I was a bit taken aback and made a joke about how coffee wasn't a children's drink, but he looked a bit miffed and said he had it all the time at home. I ended up giving him hot apple stuff instead but now Im wondering if I was being unreasonable...I don't think coffee is an appropriate drink for children, but I happily served hot chocolate with cream and marshmallows to the others which, let's face it, isn't exactly healthy!!

OP posts:
minifingers · 24/01/2015 21:57

Not joking.

Unless I sit in their room and tell them to stop talking repeatedly for hours after putting them to bed, they WILL talk. They make each other laugh like drains.

Grin

It's fine though - coffee in the morning perks them up enough to get them dressed and out the house.

Bogeyface · 24/01/2015 22:00

Muddling I wasnt prepared for that when I gave up coffee either. I felt appalling. I just assumed it was the same as giving up .... I dunno...cake! Or cheese! I would just have decaff and it would be fine and it really wasnt.

I think that if every "caffeine is fine, it perks me up" poster had to give it up for a month, they would be really surprised at how crappy they feel.

MiscellaneousAssortment · 24/01/2015 22:05

Bonkers! The thread, not the OP :) it's amazing what piques the interesf of Mumsnet isn't it?

PrimalLass · 24/01/2015 22:06

I'm a 'can't move in the morning without it' person but managed fine for a week on holiday. But I love everything about a lovely hot frothy latte too much to give them up.

MuddlingMackem · 24/01/2015 22:07

Fortunately I didn't eat a lot of chocolate so it wasn't as bad as it could have been.

I mostly drink tea Bogeyface I just have a few coffees a week, and DS and I have a coffee and cake day once a week. During my pregnancies I drank decaf tea and stayed off coffee - I saved my pregnancy caffeine allowance for chocolate. Thankfully I grew out of those migraines in my early twenties as I love chocolate. :)

(Now I'm just fat because I the chocolate reaction was replaced by migraines if I get hungry, so I have to eat when I would rather just wait until next mealtime. Sad :)

MuddlingMackem · 24/01/2015 22:07

Hmm, smiley face should have been a closed bracket. Hmm

Spincyclist · 24/01/2015 22:11

Yes I've had to give up caffeine too, because of migraines.

I wasn't, as a PP said, drinking 2 litres of coke a day. I was having 2-3 cups of tea a day, so same sort of ball park as 1 cup of coffee. I know it doesn't affect everyone like that, but it does put me off feeding it to my children.

Now I've broken my addiction to very minor amounts of caffeine, I'm way better in the mornings. I'd thought I wasn't a morning person, but it turns out it was caffeine addiction. So if you need coffee to perk you up in the mornings, IME the cure is to give up the coffee!

PopularNamesInclude · 24/01/2015 22:15

Ywnbu. He can do as he pleases at home. You do not serve coffee to your children so none for any children in your home. Nothing wrong with a 10 year old drinking coffee, but there should be one set of rules for all children. Also, imagine you did serve it to him against your better judgement and then found out he was lying and his Mum was upset. Just stick to your rules.

MeeWhoo · 24/01/2015 22:20

Well I am from "the continent", from a coffee drinking nation and I wouldn't have given a coffee to a 10 year old.

Here we start drinking coffee around 14 y.o. I'd say, but then again, we drink proper coffee not dirty water and we lime stonger blends so it probably has a lot more caffeine in it than your average British coffee.

FriendlyLadybird · 24/01/2015 22:21

Funny to think that I was drinking coffee all the time at 10. It wouldn't occur to offer it to another child of the same age -- but that's only because my children won't drink anything but water! It's not something I'd have rules about, and certainly I wouldn't refuse anyone who asked for a coffee. I wouldn't offer hot chocolate, though, as we never have any in the house.

Lweji · 24/01/2015 22:21

I assume no-one would decline a reasonable request from an adult guest in their house, why is it okay to deny a request of a 10 year old?

I deny stuff all the time to my 10 year old. Usually with an explanation as to why and a good reason. But I certainly don't treat him like an adult, and nor should I.

Discopanda · 24/01/2015 22:24

Sometimes kids do say they're allowed to do stuff at home when they're not really, YANBU to not get him coffee unless a parent was there, I wouldn't be happy if my kid was bouncing off the walls on caffeine.

minifingers · 24/01/2015 22:26

"So if you need coffee to perk you up in the mornings, IME the cure is to give up the coffee!"

I've started drinking a large glass of water before I get out of bed in the morning. I find this has done more than anything else to raise my energy levels.

Still follow it swiftly with a double shot latte though....

Lweji · 24/01/2015 22:28

Well I am from "the continent", from a coffee drinking nation

Me too.

If coffee is so evil you shouldn't be drinking it in front of kids.

I drink alcohol in front of kids, as I drink coffee. It's not evil, but it's still not for them. They understand it. It's not hard.
I wouldn't say not to give any coffee. Very weak coffee in a small portion should be fine if they ask for it, or just a taste to see how bitter it is.
Anything else and the OP could have had the boy's parents demanding to know why she gave him coffee.

Bogeyface · 24/01/2015 22:28

I assume no-one would decline a reasonable request from an adult guest in their house, why is it okay to deny a request of a 10 year old?

Because they're ten?!

An adult has come to the decision they have on what they consume with all the facts at their disposal and understanding. If I invited them to dinner and they said "Sorry, I only eat Haribo and chocolate cheesecake" I would think they were a fucking weirdo but would accomodate them. If a child said that then I would say "Nice try!" and give them the food that I know they will eat at home (I always check, once bitten....).

thegreylady · 24/01/2015 22:51

When I was a toddler I was given milky sweet tea in my bottle. This was in the forties and very normal in poorer working class families. At the time my dad was still in the army and mum was living with her parents. I was well fed "The bairn has priority!", warmly clothed (lots of hand knits) and comfortably housed but I did have my 'titty bottle' of tea! This was a pit village in the North East. The only coffee around was Camp coffee which i remember as disgusting.

ouryve · 24/01/2015 22:55

Oh yes, sugary drinks are so much more appropriate for a 10 year old than coffee.

If my 11yo wanted to drink tea or coffee, I'd have no problem (once, before lunch!)

Patsyandeddie · 24/01/2015 23:00

WTF it's coffee not heroin, why get so worked up, the kid likes it, better than a bucket Full of over sweetened chocolate!

AlecTrevelyan006 · 24/01/2015 23:18

i've never heard of kids being refused coffee.

You really do learn something new everyday.

Laquitar · 24/01/2015 23:19

Oh is coffee for under 10's the new hummus?

OP i would prefer that you didnt give coffee to my dcs. Ds would sleep ok but dd would get very hyper. You don't know what we have planned for next morning so it would be wiser to not cause hyper and insomnia imo.

Btw we are both (me and dh) from the Continet.

I wouldnt comment on 'healthy' though . I would just have said 'sorry darling, run out of coffee'. Grin.

Bogeyface · 25/01/2015 00:46

I suspect it is the new olive laquitar

It used to be "Oh DD loooooooves olives dont you darling? But only *insert rare and expensive olive here!" It is now "Oh I couldnt get DS to school without his mug of Kopi luwak!"

WitchesGlove · 25/01/2015 01:05

I used to work in several coffee shops, YANBU.

Although, if it was only instant coffee, I'd have given him a weak one or a decaff one.

It's certainly no worse than coca cola, which many consider a kids drink!

Do you know the boys parents?

Laquitar · 25/01/2015 01:12

Ha ha YY Bogeyface!

OriginalGreenGiant · 25/01/2015 01:22

My boys (11 and 9) perk up no end after a good strong latte in the morning. Which is good because they're always pale and pasty when they get up - they like to talk to each other in bed until 11pm

I'm not generally a pearl clutcher at ALL - but geez, really?

Someone else said their 7 year old regularly drinks it...I find that bizarre. Ds1 is 7 and I'd probably let him taste my coffee if he asked, but I wouldn't let him drink a whole cup, and regularly.

It's a stimulant. It's addictive. I wouldn't hand a 7 year old a Costa anymore than I'd hand them a redbull, or half a larger.

HeeHiles · 25/01/2015 01:24

YANBU - I wouldn't give my children tea, coffee or coke - no child I know has asked for one so I would assume they are not given it at home either.

I have never met anyone in RL who gives their children tea or coffee - really surprised to see so many on here do!