to refuse to serve coffee to a 10 year old?

[ScarlettDarling]

Ds just been to an outdoor sledging place for his birthday party. Three of his best friends have come back here and as they're all freezing I offered them hot chocolate. One said he didn't like it and asked could he have coffee instead.I was a bit taken aback and made a joke about how coffee wasn't a children's drink, but he looked a bit miffed and said he had it all the time at home. I ended up giving him hot apple stuff instead but now Im wondering if I was being unreasonable...I don't think coffee is an appropriate drink for children, but I happily served hot chocolate with cream and marshmallows to the others which, let's face it, isn't exactly healthy!!

[DancingDinosaur]

Yep I agree theboody. Very true.

[TheNumberfaker]

Not read the whole thread. Yanbu to refuse to serve him coffee. Yabu to not have offered decaff instead!
Who gives a child coffee or cola??

[AlecTrevelyan006]

what an enlightening thread. I literally had no idea that kids were not supposed to be given coffee. I've never heard this before. Ever. Though to be fair, growing up in a large working class Irish Catholic family it was mainly tea that we drank. I thought the only reason that most kids didn't drink coffee was because they don't like it.

[Lweji]

I was a kid in the 70s. I never had too many sugary drinks. They were a treat.
I only had watered down coffee (very small cup), very occasionally, and maybe a chocolate once a week.

[fatlazymummy]

I remember giving my eldest (26) tea in his bottle. Well, it was milk with a tiny bit of tea, and sugar of course. So did other people I knew.I only stopped when I found out it reduced iron absorption.

[sanfairyanne]

i was also a kid in the 70s. sweets once a week. no fizzy drinks ever that i can remember. definitely no tea or coffee but i dont know why, for health or cost?
i was shocked by all the calls for decaff but having googled, that is showing my age. it used to be made using hideous chemicals and be v unhealthy. apparently, that is no longer the case.
my kids like hummous, olives, fruit shoots and sausage rolls but then i am the middle class child of working class parents

[Theboodythatrocked]

It's the hysteria and angst that drives me crazy. As if a cup of tea/coffee/sugary drink is akin to poison.

Ffs no sane person would give these drinks all day every day but Tye odd cup is fine.

My oldest is 25 too like yours Fat and he had the occasional bottle of tea! He's fine.

Parenting has become so bloody complicated and angst.

Relax.,

[fatlazymummy]

theboody just ignore it . TBH if I was having kids now I'd do things pretty much the same (well, maybe not the tea thing, but then I didn't do that with my younger 2 either).

[Claybury]

Funny I started drinking tea and coffee when I was young, about 11, I suppose, because my parents did. Throughout secondary school I took a flask of coffee as part of my packed lunch.
I would feel odd serving a child coffee now although my kids drink ( weak) tea. I suppose weak and milky ok, expresso not !
I have turned into a coffee addict though.

[BellMcEnd]

I don't think you were BU, Scarlett. I have 3 DCs and have never been asked for coffee by any of their mates. If I had been I think I'd have reacted with a "gut instinct" no, too. I also don't give my lot coke and they know they're not allowed it. This didn't stop one of mine at the age of 7 assuring the Dad at one of his friends parties that of course he was allowed coke and drank it all the time. He drank a bottle of full sugar, caffeinated coke, took about 3 hours to come down from the ceiling and then felt sick for about 4 hours . The Dad was v apologetic but said that my DS was very convincing. My point is that having never known any of my friends children drink coffee before the age of about 14 I'd have (rightly or wrongly) assumed they were trying it on.

I really don't think it's at all equivalent to hypothetically feeding a vegetarian child meat .

[Alibalibumblebee]

Am laughing at this talk of Olives and Humus. I didn't realise my grandchildren ate it because we have social aspirations, I thought they ate it because where we live its part of the staple diet.

And as for bottles of tea being for the poor working class long ago? I grew up in a working class family and we were far from poor. We in fact had a lifestyle that many here would consider middle class when it comes to holidays, hobbies, and generally having spending power. We had a great life.

[Claybury]

I think today's kids are more aware of caffeine as a drug than I was when I was young.

DS is 17 and refuses to have caffeine - he sees it as a drug that he doesn't like. He has tried other drugs and has liked other stuff though ...alcohol is not popular, cannabis is.
Weird attitude, I think, but shows a different mind set.

[Theboodythatrocked]

Oh agree Fat

And san my parents rationed sweets too but like most 70s kids we roamed the streets on weekends and after school and brought our own.

Helicopter parenting land the endless naval gazing over child rearing and complicated approaches to weaning/sleeping well being and health, that we have far too much of now, now would have been distinctly wierd back then!

Children were seen as part of The family not the be all and end all of it

You went to a restaurant and you behaved. You ate what The adults said. You behaved at school or took the severe concequences.

Lots of things are better but lots are worse too.

The rise of angsty over precious parents is irritating

[vdbfamily]

another one late to thread and YANBU. I would not give a child coffee without parents okay first and I would not give my children coffee.They can have Cola on a special occasion up until lunch but not at teatime as I do not want their sleep to be affected.

[FightOrFlight]

Am laughing at this talk of Olives and Humus. I didn't realise my grandchildren ate it because we have social aspirations, I thought they ate it because where we live its part of the staple diet.

Oh you're okay then, it's just the Neanderthal Brits who are aspirational, apparently

I've just bought some from Co-op, so probably fair trade too.

< hides perfectly normal food from offspring so they can remain lower middle class >

[BellMcEnd]

The rise of angsty over precious parents is irritating

I don't give my lot coffee and coke etc mainly because I can't be arse with the loons after but I totally agree with the above. My cousins children are not allowed anything that's even remotely "unhealthy." This includes the occasional ice cream on the beach or even birthday cake. They've never been to a class mate's birthday party or had a playdate for fear of what they may eat . This is the extreme obv. I reckon the second they leave home they'll be face deep in a Big Mac and large coke

[m0therofdragons]

Decaf has caffeine in it just a lot less than standard coffee.
Anyway yabu probably but I would feel the same. For some reason tea is less if an issue for me with a 10 yo - not going to try to explain it as I don't know why that's my feeling

[BoyFromTheBigBadCity]

I had coffee from age ten, tea from age 9. Hermione has coffee when she's 15 I think, hardly a child.

I love coffee. I love the taste, I love the smell, I've always drank it strong and black. I do not take it purely for the caffeine hit - lots of people don't!

[Bogeyface]

Re tea in bottles. I never had it and my paternal cousins did much to my mothers disgust, she said it was common! But she was determined to enter the middle classes, very aspirational from a humble background. My dads family however were very working class and proud of it.

[VikingLady]

I read this thread wondering whether I was allowed coffee from a very young age because my mum isn't English (part Italian). I even had a smaller mug of my own, which my mum saved for my DD!

But my dad is English, from the midlands, working class family. I used to drink strong sugary coffee from his flask on days out from four years old, and his family never had a problem with me drinking coffee when I visited. And I never had anemia!

DD is 2.10 and has her own mini mug for coffee and tea. She likes milky tea (maybe a couple of inch in the cup) or black coffee (very weak). Probably about 4x per week. And she's not anemic either, despite having a fairly limited diet (has had a lot of blood tests, unrelated)

But she has never had coke, and I will not be buying it for her. I don't give her sugary drinks at all.

I have my little brother's mini mug in the cupboard waiting for DC2 in the future.

[HeeHiles]

Good god you lot should have been kids in the 70s!

I was a child in the 60's and 70's - fizzy drinks were a rarity and we never had tea or coffee, lots of baked beans and crispy pancakes though!

The rise of angsty over precious parents is irritating

I actually think this thread has been quite a good debate - not noticed any angst - I choose not to give my children a drug which causes dependency, withdrawal systems and inhibits iron absorption - You think it's OK on occasion which is fine - your choice. My children have had coke - usually at parties or when I'm not around but I personally wouldn't want my children drinking it regularly but I'm not going to cause a scene if others give it to them now and again.

Tea or coffee hasn't ever been an option for discussion as it has never been asked for or offered and if it was I would say no - Nicotine is a stimulant too - would you give a ten year old a vaper with nicotine oil in it?

[Opopanax]

Nicotine is highly addictive. Caffeine really isn't.

[Opopanax]

Also, I was also a child in the 70s. I had a cup of coffee every morning with my breakfast. I had tea whenever I fancied it. Both from the age of 5 or 6 onwards. I was not anaemic and have not been since, unless pregnant (when I avoid caffeine). I had a fizzy drink maybe twice a year or so.

As an adult I drink one or two cups of coffee a day and quite a lot of decaf tea. I'm not an addict and don't find it a problem if I'm coffee-less. My dreadful caffeine habit as a kid absolutely has not translated into adult addiction. Nicotine is a different story and I will probably struggle with it all my life.

[53Dragon]

Child of the 60's - we had tea in our sippy cups as soon as we were old enough to hold it!
Coffee really isn't going to harm a 10 year old child - half of them are on the Red Bull at that age!

[Namechangeyetagaintohide]

I think you were rude to tell him it's not for children. It's hardly crack cocaine. No different to a cola really.