to refuse to serve coffee to a 10 year old?

[ScarlettDarling]

Ds just been to an outdoor sledging place for his birthday party. Three of his best friends have come back here and as they're all freezing I offered them hot chocolate. One said he didn't like it and asked could he have coffee instead.I was a bit taken aback and made a joke about how coffee wasn't a children's drink, but he looked a bit miffed and said he had it all the time at home. I ended up giving him hot apple stuff instead but now Im wondering if I was being unreasonable...I don't think coffee is an appropriate drink for children, but I happily served hot chocolate with cream and marshmallows to the others which, let's face it, isn't exactly healthy!!

I'll just point out that my example was one of denying a vegan child a vegan meal, not "forcing a vegan child to eat non-vegan food" or "giving a vegan child non-vegan food^.

In your, actually silly, example, denying a child a vegan meal is actually forcing them to eat meat (or animal derived food). NOT the same as saying you can't have a drink that contains a drug.
Otherwise, you'd be denying them any food.

Wow I've never met any kids who drink tea or coffee and I've been a teacher as well as a parent. Mine have the occasional hot chocolate but take hours over it so it would be awful if they drank hot drinks all the time.

I would think you a bit odd but it's your house.

I'd never thought of coffee as forbidden to kids. I did come across the attitude in friends from the US; they accepted kids drinking lots of cola...

I didn't know that not drinking coffee was a 'thing'. Only one of mine drinks it, although they all drink tea. If another child asked for it I would just give it to them without thinking. It wouldn't occur to me that they were 'trying it on'.
We used to get it at school on cold days in green cups and saucers with a triangle of toast. It was secondary school, so we were over 11 but I don't remember it being an adult thing at all. I've always drunk both (not always but as far back as I remember)

My 3 eldest grandchildren drink tea and coffee, and the coffee they drink is Kahwa served in a small cup like an espresso. The tea is red tea flavoured with ginger or cardamom seeds. Sometimes though they have what is called cooked tea which is really just like a tea flavoured milk.

The children are aged between 4 and 9.

My 11 yo has been drinking coffee for the lays year (not continuously ). Probably has one a week, maybe more if we stop at Costa while shopping. For the pp who wondered whether it was a north south thing - I'm northern.

Oh and like some other posters, my mum proudly tells me of how I loved a nice sugary tea from when I was a toddler - eek!

My 2 yr old DD loves a milky cup of tea as part of a tea party, especially in front of the fire on a cold day. Funnily enough, I would think of her as too young for fizzy juice, though I wouldn't die in a ditch about it at a party or similar.

I guess we're all different, but by age 10 I wouldn't see coffee as in the least bit unreasonable to be drinking.

Dd (4) loves coffee... By 10 I wouldn't be bothered at all. YABU

I would have done the same in op position. Coffee sends my hyper as an adult, I wouldn't be giving it to a child unless the parents had specifically told me he could have it.

I can recall lying with my head on my grannies lap whilst watching Watch With Mother in the very early 60's. I'd be sucking on a bottle of tea at the same time and just as Andy Pandy ended I'd be fast asleep for a wee fly half hour as my granny used to call the nap we had before she'd do the dinner dishes.

Other days she'd pour some of her tea into a saucer for me if it was very hot and I'd slurp it up like a kitten

Mine are allowed hot chocolate or a milky cup of tea, but not coffee.

Personally I'd liken coffee at the same level as giving them a red bull - not something I'd consider.

I agree with be you too, although I really don't know why or where this idea comes from. Maybe because I hated the taste of coffee as a kid?

I remember being irrationally shocked when Hermione drank coffee in one of the Harry Potters. I think it was quite early on too. I lost faith in the goodness of JK Rowling for a little bit there. Stupidly.

I'm sure that you've sufficient imagination to think of your own example if mine doesn't suit you, Lewji.

FWIW I don't think the children drinking coffee (or tea) concept is a north/south thing as much as a class - or class aspirational thing.

Alibalibumblebee

Other days she'd pour some of her tea into a saucer for me if it was very hot and I'd slurp it up like a kitten

YES! I'd forgotten about that - I remember doing the same

My dgc have all been allowed milky decaff tea or coffee from the age of 5. The two youngest are 6 and 8 now. Both prefer 'tea' which is half a cup of decaf tea each (one teabag between them) topped up with milk and no sugar. I see no harm.

Not particularly aspirational and definitely not southern, but DS (9.5) loves a cup of coffee. Usually decaf, but not always.

I used to have coffee in my sippy cup when I was a baby.

Agree with you op. Hot chocolate-yes once in a while-, coffee for a child -never
It affects the brain, it is addictive. I had to wean myself off it and feel much better now.

what is Kahwa coffee?

It used to be quite the norm for very young children to be given tea, as it was cheap. In my family we were given tea from the age of about 3 or 4. DH remembers going into hospital at the age of two for an operation and the only drink he was offered when he came round was tea!

Coffee was a different matter. The real thing was prohibitively expensive for most ordinary folk - and in my family even instant coffee was far too expensive to be wasted on us children! We had water or tea or, on special days, cheap orange squash. Once I had Ribena at someone's birthday party and loved it; I remember thinking how wonderful it must be to have rich parents who could afford such luxuries!

I remember finally being allowed coffee (probably something like Fine Fare own brand) when I started secondary school, aged 11.

I said above that I dont think the OP was BU, and I still dont. The stories of having tea and coffee as a child remind me, I got a saucer of tea too.

It was normal to drink tea and coffee and I ended up drinking waaay too much, so that when I quit caffeine at 28 when I was pg I got the most horrendous withdrawal. It was like having flu for 2 solid weeks, but afterwards I felt amazing. I had needed coffee just to keep going, but once I got over the withdrawal I didnt need it to wake up, get energy or simply feel "ok".

But hey, you feed your kids this addictive drug if you want to.

Bogey I think the problem is that coffee drinkers don't necessarily realise how addictive it is and the only reason they 'need' a coffee to perk them up and keep them going is,actually, because they keep drinking it. If they didn't they wouldn't need something to perk them up. Same with any drug really.

Hooby ...so you think that kids drinking coffee is 'aspirational'? Now that is bizarre!
By the way, we're northern here, and even though it's clear that lots of people disagree with me, I still think it's strange to offer kids tea or coffee!

My boys (11 and 9) perk up no end after a good strong latte in the morning. Which is good because they're always pale and pasty when they get up - they like to talk to each other in bed until 11pm.

Coffee is very important to me. I can't function without it and more to the point, wouldn't want to. I tend to have 5kgs of Lavazza in the freezer at any one time. My children are following in my footsteps, down the road to a life long caffeine addiction. I know I should probably care. But I don't.

That said,even with my above post and drinkers not realising, they surely know the effects and I don't understand why anybody would want to give or think children would need that?