To ask what people mean about 'cuddling' babies?

[mummyrunnerbean]

After an afternoon with MIL commenting on this I'm beginning to get slightly concerned, undoubtedly in a sleep-deprived, pfb kind of way:

Is it normal for babies not to let you cuddle them? As in, 6 month DS has never put up with being cuddled for more than a few seconds except when asleep, or feeding. And even when feeding he constantly kicks off whatever we're sitting on, 'talks', turns his head, and smacks me on the boob. He always has.

Otherwise when being held he just bicycles his legs, flails his arms, tries to climb whoever's got him, etc etc, and again always has. He just can't be still for a minute. The only way to get him to sleep is either to feed him in a dark room with white noise (keeping arms and legs firmly pinned down) or to imprison him in his sling with a jacket zipped over his legs and go for a very brisk walk, again with white noise.

DP has ADHD and MIL is driving me round the bend saying DS 'obviously' does too. I realise it's far too early to tell but am beginning to wonder if something isn't right. He's just never happy unless he can move about. I've been kind of hoping that when he can move himself he'll chill out a bit, but when I read about people actually cuddling their babies on here I am and slightly jealous...

Please tell me I'm being crazy and he's perfectly normal if slightly over-energetic?

Sorry just realised that's ridiculously long .

Don't worry, my dd was never the cuddling kind of baby. She was a very hot baby and didn't like to be held for longer than necessary. She is three now and only recently has decided that she might like to snuggle with us. Incidentally it also took her ages to understand the comfort of snuggling under a blanket or duvet, so I think it was just the way she felt comfortable. Your baby might just like a bit of his own space, my dd did and it's just part of her personality.

They are all so different.

DS1 had ADHD and he wouldn't let you cuddle him, but also liked to be moving about a lot.

You can't diagnose a child at that age, and it won't benefit to anyway. Its just something to note for future if you do ever have concerns...

He sounds a happy soul though so that's the main thing

sorry typo - he would let you cuddle him but also moved about a lot.

DD wasn't a cuddly baby. Isn't really a cuddly 4 year old. Too busy. However she may well get a diagnosis so probably the wrong child to compare with!

Don't worry! DD wasn't a bit cuddly and I worried she didn't even like me she's three now and can't do aaanthing without coming over for hugs first!

I'm not going to diagnose over the Internet based on a snapshot of behaviour but that does ring an autistic spectrum bell to me.

My daughter was exactly the same, always moving, always too hot. Now at 16 months she's occasionally deigns to hug us, but only briefly.

DS was diagnosed with autism aged two and he was a velcro baby.

He’s so young I wouldn’t worry about him yet. I think babies have different personalities from a very young age, I’ve known babies like yours who want to be on the go all the time, whereas my DD has always been lazy a cuddler, wants to spend a lot of time snuggled on someones lap or under a blanket on the sofa, and she was a late crawler/walker. Your DS will probably be an active little boy

All babies are completely different, I wouldn't be worried if I were you.

DD (6 months) doesn't like being cuddled. Too busy, too much to be doing. Even as a teeny baby sometimes she cried just to be put down and left alone for a few minutes. My sister's son, 4 years old and NT, is exactly the same. I wouldn't worry.

Dd was the same. Always far more interested in what was going on elsewhere. She wouldnt sleep with us either, had to be in her cot. She is 17 now and is bright and bubbly and easily distractable, however never a suggestion of any sn and she actually likes a cudfle now.

Me and my dm were discussing this recently. I was saying that my dsis isn't very affectionate (amazing in every way, just not a cuddler!!) and my dm was saying she never has been, from about 6 months would always push away from cuddles. hasn't done her any harm, she's happily married with 2 lovely (and very affectionate) dc and has a physics phd!!

Don't worry at all, my DS is 14 month and never been a cuddler. He will tolerate a cuddle now but he's only started wanting cuddles and kisses in the last month. They get more affectionate as they get older usually but some kids just aren't cuddly.

My DS was like yours - he always wanted to be on the move. He did not sit still for more than a minute til he was like a year old. From when he could roll at 4 months that was it, he would just not be still. Some children are just physical, sounds like your DS is like that. Nothing wrong with him at all, he just doesn't have time for cuddles he wants to go and explore the exciting world!

DD did the frog climbing thing, never went to sleep while being held ever (the nursery didn't believe me when they asked how to get her to nap and I said "put her in the cot and walk out of the room"), and so on. I used to watch with envy as my friends' babies dozed off, head on shoulder.

She's now a very tactile and completely NT 18 year old.

All babies are different.

I've recently been referred to be furnished with Hugh functioning autism. Everyone around me has always known I have it, it's just that now I'm going to university a diagnosis would be beneficial.

I was a very independent, non cuddly baby.

However dd's nursery has just been in touch to say they are monitoring dd and have invited one if the autism team to come round to observe her. She is nearly two so too young for diagnosis though obviously has a lot of the signs.

She, however, is extremely Velcro

Furnished?

What on earth us my ipad doing? How is 'furnished' the same as diagnosis?!

Ffs whose diagnosing ADHD in a baby.

Bloody hilarious bollocks.

Ds1 loved cuddles, ds 2 hated them, dd3 loved them dd4 another hater.

All grown up now had all completely well a adjusted loving people.

Take no notice op absolute bollocks!

My dd was/is exactly the same as buildingsites dd. She still kicks her covers off when she's asleep.

Ds was happier kicking about on the play mat than cuddling. He went through a stage of wanting to be carried about. Much happier when he was crawling at 5.5! Months.

Cuddly now at 2.5 though, when he takes a break from running around like a loon or any other toddler.

Try not to over analyse. Most autistic kids were high needs babies but not necessarily the other way round.

DS1 was like this. He was a high needs baby but has no SN as far as I know (he's 4 now). See if the link rings any bells - it helped me loads.

DS2 is cuddly and squishy.

As PP have said, they have different personalities even at that young age.

My DD is 14 months and has only 'cuddled' me once and that was then she was really poorly with hand, foot and mouth. And it wasn't really a cuddle, she was just so listless and poorly that she lay on me and didn't move. Normally she's far too busy running around, playing with my hair, pulling on my clothes etc etc. She doesn't know what a 'cuddle' is, why would she? I know a lot of babies the same sort of age as my DD through baby groups/NCT etc and only know one who voluntarily cuddles his mum.

I can't believe those on here who are saying it's a warning sign for ADHD at 6 months!!!

I honestly think that signs like this can be part and parcel of ADHD/ASD however only in retrospect. It is not indicative at the time if that makes sense? My dd was absolutely not into cuddles and does have ADHD and probably ASD too. My son was and is very cuddly and has no signs of being on the spectrum. My youngest dd isn't cuddly and has no signs of ASD. It can be a common feature in these children but also it is common in children with no SN, so it means nothing at this stage.