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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think swimming is an essential life skill

109 replies

Efferlunt · 20/01/2015 00:49

DS1 (5) isn't going to bother to learn to swim - he can't see the point as he can wear armbands. DH thinks that we shouldn't make him if he doesn't want to. I disagree. I think it's my responsibility as a parent to ensure he can swim so he's having lessons whether he like it or not.
AIBU?

OP posts:

NeedABumChange · 20/01/2015 00:51

I think it's as important as learning to eat with a knife and fork, both for safety and social reasons. However at 5, I would leave it 6 months and review the situation.

Fanjango · 20/01/2015 00:59

It's actually part of the national curriculum. I'm fighting this now as ds2 is terrified of swimming and cries everyday they have swimming lessons

Fanjango · 20/01/2015 01:01

He is under tests for dyspraxia which affects his balance, thought I'd add before anyone tells me I should make him do it.

Fanjango · 20/01/2015 01:03

Oh and at 5 it's not a problem. D2 is 9. Your ds has plenty of time to get used to then idea

KoalaDownUnder · 20/01/2015 01:21

I totally agree with you. I think it's vitally important to learn how to swim.

StrawberryTot · 20/01/2015 01:42

YANBU, I'm the same as you. I think teaching a child to swim is very important. Both my DD (8) and DS (6) have been doing lessons for 2 years. DD has always enjoyed it and wants to be an Olympic swimmer my DS however hated it originally (cried and wailed everytime he was in the pool) but I stood by the fact that they would stay in the lessons until they were confident swimmers. Now he loves them and both my DC love spending time splashing around in the pool.
I should add that I can't swim myself (I try but I have zero coordination, rhythm or skill) which was my main reason for encouraging the DCs. I don't want them to feel insecure in the water.

TripTrapTripTrapOverTheBridge · 20/01/2015 01:45

As a 33 year old woman who can only manage a doggy paddle or a 2m crawl and would drown at any given opportunity,I would agree that it is an essential life skill.

First time I ever went in a pool was when I was 5,at school,and didn't have a clue,went under and freaked. School pool closed after that and aside from one school trip to a pool I never went in a pool again until I was 17,with my baby.

My parents didn't 'do' swimming (despite my mother having been a competitive swimmer in her youth),or anything else for that matter,so I was never taken to a pool or allowed lessons.I hate that as much as I hate the fact I must look a total muppet when I take ds swimming and I have to walk around the pool after him

Give him time to get used to the idea,but definitely do it! I'm terrified of water due to knowing I can't swim

Fluffyears · 20/01/2015 01:46

It is essential. I live near the sea and three major rivers and we were taught Young. A girl I went to school with died in the local river a few years ago in an accident and she was s good swimmer.

Lweji · 20/01/2015 01:51

At 5 DS was afraid of the water, at 7/8 he managed to put his head under water. At 9 he could swim at the deep end and loves diving under waves.

Take it easy with your DS. If you force him, he'll just resist and hate it. If you use your head and convince him to go rather than force him to go, he may well end up loving it.

With DS I told him he should try it and give it till Christmas to decide whether he liked it or not. Now he wanted to stop and do football instead. It's still fine.

Strokethefurrywall · 20/01/2015 02:13

It's an essential life skill, I probably wouldn't have pushed lessons so early except we have a pool and also live on a small island and are out on boats fairly regularly.

DS1 started instructive swimming at 2 years (before we would splash around and make him feel secure) and has been able to jump (read: dive bomb, somersault etc) into the pool, swim underwater, take breaths and get himself out without swimming aids. We're always there on the side if he needs us and we'll will start lessons so he can learn strokes when he starts school. But survival is paramount and as long as he can rely on his instincts to get in and out safely I'm happy.

EBearhug · 20/01/2015 02:17

I think it is, and so did my parents. We grew up near the coast and there were streams and ponds and water troughs on the farm; we needed to have a chance if we ever fell in, but we were also made very aware that being able to swim didn't make us invincible.

When I used to teach, if I had a child who was scared of water, it was usually that they were scared of their face and eyes being splashed. I would set homework - fill a basin with warm water, no soap or anything, and put their face in the water for a count of five - some children need to build up to five. Next time, with open eyes. Next time, blow out bubbles. Next time, blow out bubbles, then turn head to the side to breathe in. Also, make sure baths are splashy (eyes closed if it's soapy), so they get used to how it all feels in a warm environment that they're in control of. Maybe this might help someone.

MidniteScribbler · 20/01/2015 02:48

I think it's absolutely essential that children learn to swim. It can be the difference between life and death. It makes me angry when children come to school swimming lessons and haven't been near a pool before. I think it's as vital to learn as crossing the road and fire safety is. We have a pool at home, so swimming safety is priority one for us, even with all the safety elements around the pool, nothing compares to being an able swimmer and knowing how to get to the side safely.

GallicIsCharlie · 20/01/2015 03:00

Trip, a friend of mine learned to swim at 41 :) The following year he learned to ride a bike! Now he can drive a car, too. Any time's a good time to learn!

butterfliesinmytummy · 20/01/2015 03:20

I agree to the point that I trained as a swimming coach, specializing in lessons for babies 6 months up and fearful children. We lived in Asia at the time, children were swimming 15m lengths aged 2.5, it was normal to be at the pool nearly every day for an hour or more and everyone had pool parties for birthdays without an armband in sight. Small children who couldn't swim simply didn't exist. Being at the pool so often was an easy way to learn and it was as important as learning to cross the road.

It is a life skill, if you or your child can't swim, please find a kind and gentle teacher who will help to build confidence. It might save your life.

butterfliesinmytummy · 20/01/2015 03:24

Good advice ebearhug about a basin of water. I used to take facecloths into the pool for face washing with very fearful children, progressing slowly to a large ice cream container filled with pool water. We would describe our favourite ice cream and then pretend we were plunging our face into "strawberry ice cream" or similar. Some kids started with jut putting their chin in, or nose, would take weeks but this is something that can't be rushed and the results are so worth the work. Use baths, take toys in (any plastic toy, not just bath or swimming toys), encourage splashing, put music on, read stories while they're in the bath, anything that's vaguely comforting and distracting, use your imagination.

echt · 20/01/2015 03:26

Learning to swim is a must, follow closely by swimming safely.

Most people who drown can swim. (Excluding fearful toddler deaths in backyard pool here.)

butterfliesinmytummy · 20/01/2015 03:47

Oh and swimming is brilliant for kids with dyspraxia. Part of my training was done with sn kids and it was amazing. Swimming calls for repeated actions so it's easier for children with dyspraxia than team sports for example. It may take him longer than other kids to master so he needs a supportive, understanding and experienced teacher but he may well get more out of this sport than others.

merlehaggard · 20/01/2015 03:52

I absolutely agree with you. My 4 year old has just happily started swimming lessons, but it never was going to be a choice. No more will going to school be. My middle one kept swimming up to level/stage 10 and slightly beyond (swimming club) but I would insist until level 6 and ideally (depending on level of objection put up) until level 8. That's the level at which I could happily see them go off swimming on their own as teenagers. I'm astounded when I hear of older children not being able to swim as I think it's an absolutely essential life skill.

Also, there are the swimming lessons at school and the embarrassment of being one of the few that can't swim, that I would want to avoid for my children.

sarahsnail · 20/01/2015 04:09

We started swimming lessons last month with my DS, age 6. he hated it, screamed the class down and was so fearful that if we had carried on it would have caused him more damage than good.
We found a 1-1 teacher, who is in the pool with him, holding him and building up his confidence, she is lovely, now he is slowly coming around to the idea and will be able to join in with the classes as his confidence grows.
It sounds like you DS is already has the confidence, so I don't see that he will have a problem, I would just book him some lessons.

TurquoiseDress · 20/01/2015 05:04

I absolutely agree OP.

Knowing how to swim is an essential life skill, helping then build life skills and enjoy a social activity.

I've taken my LO to the pool since he was 4.5 months, when the time comes I will definitely be signing him up for swimming lessons!

HellKitty · 20/01/2015 05:43

Ds1 was expected to swim x amount of metres before going to 'big' school. He didn't pass in time so we spent a lot of the summer holidays on school run courses at the swimming baths to bring him up to speed. That was 6 years ago, I was told then it was part of the curriculum.

Shockers · 20/01/2015 07:12

DS2 clawed his way up my body to get out of the water the first time I took him swimming at around 6 months old. He continued to dislike the cold water until he was around 6, but we persevered, using a shorty wetsuit to keep him warm when we went in.

He has been a club swimmer now for 7 years and also plays waterpolo. Last year in the Ardeche, he raced me in my canoe for two miles down the river!

He's fit, healthy and confident in the water, and that confidence means he can also have a lot of fun in it.

I'm really glad we stuck it out!

bringmejoy2015 · 20/01/2015 07:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MinceSpy · 20/01/2015 07:42

In my opinion swimming is an essential life skill. Make going to the pool fun and then sign him up for lessons .

Yangsun · 20/01/2015 07:44

Well I'm afraid I will be the one dissenter here. Swimming is fashionable here like ice skating is in Canada and skiing is in Austria. Because most people can and like it then apparently everyone should. Yes it could save your life but in almost every incidence it wouldn't -or- you wouldn't have put yourself in that situation if you hadn't been a confident swimmer. By all means encourage children to swim, it's sociable and healthy but it is not much more likely to save your life than tennis!

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