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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think swimming is an essential life skill

109 replies

Efferlunt · 20/01/2015 00:49

DS1 (5) isn't going to bother to learn to swim - he can't see the point as he can wear armbands. DH thinks that we shouldn't make him if he doesn't want to. I disagree. I think it's my responsibility as a parent to ensure he can swim so he's having lessons whether he like it or not.
AIBU?

OP posts:
WillBeatJanuaryBlues · 20/01/2015 15:34

as far as I am aware all people who drown are swimmers

I mean thinking of people in sea who have been swimmiung and run into trouble and down

GallicIsCharlie · 20/01/2015 15:51

Well, it stands to reason that people who get into trouble while swimming are swimmers Grin

There are other reasons to be in the water - you fell, slipped, crashed, were pushed ... those are the situations where basic survival skills can make the difference.

ChocLover2015 · 20/01/2015 15:54

'Of course you have a higher chance of surviving a fall into water if you have some swimming skills, than if you have none.

This seems so obvious to me that I'm confused why anyone would think otherwise. confused'

Except that as a non-swimmer you might be more careful and less likely to fall in.

GallicIsCharlie · 20/01/2015 16:01

You know , don't you? Well, that isn't going to happen if you're too busy flailing about and have no underwater skills.

ChocLover2015 · 20/01/2015 16:36

That video showed no swimming and certainly nothing you would learn in a swimming class

GallicIsCharlie · 20/01/2015 16:49

Oh, I just picked the first one I found Blush I didn't realise they'd filmed such a fast escape that they didn't need to swim up! His final sentence, though, was "then you'll probably have to swim to shore." Basically, your car will float a bit while it still has air inside but the doors won't open. So you need to get the windows open as fast as possible - if you've got power windows, you should have an emergency hammer in the car - and get out before the water inside your car reaches the bottom of the windows (it will stop floating then.) The last person out will probably have to swim up. And panicking will kill you.

I'm getting even more boring than usual now so will leave the thread Grin

chockbic · 20/01/2015 16:50

Yes but some people are more gifted in buoyancy.

My tendency is to sink like a stone.

TheFriar · 20/01/2015 16:53

YANBU and I suspect that your DH is just looking for an easier way out than having to convince a stubborn 5yo to go in the water.

MadeInChorley · 20/01/2015 17:12

Absolutely. It's an essential life skill. My Dad grew up in the North of Scotland. He resolved that we would all learn to swim early after a terrified boy knocked on my dad's door to say that his three friends were drowning in a nearby loch. My dad aged 22 ran to help, but couldn't save the boys and they were pulled dead from the water. They couldn't swim.

I feel the same and think you should start them early. I took my DCs swimming most weeks from age 10 weeks in a warm pool and they love the water and have lots of confidence. DS1 is not quite 4 and has had lessons for a year. He jumps in, dives in head first and can swim a breadth of the pool and understands how to swim for the side.

QueenofLouisiana · 20/01/2015 17:24

I think it's really important. I took a class of 8/9 year olds for a school swimming lesson recently, just under half can't swim without a float. Around a quarter needed to be taught how to use a noodle to float. More than one or two had never visited a pool. To say the least, it was an interesting lesson.

However, my DS hated swimming at 5, wasn't keen at 6. He tolerated it from 7ish and at 9 has just had his entry forms for county championships. Definitely not what we predicted at 6 ("you can give up lessons when you can swim a length in your clothes")! So I'd really try to stick with it for as long as possible.

ChocLover2015 · 20/01/2015 17:58

I took a class of 8/9 year olds for a school swimming lesson recently, just under half can't swim without a float.
That is really surprising Queen!! Around here it would be extremely rare for a child of 7 not to be able to swim.Do you live in a very under priviledged area?

Idontseeanysontarans · 20/01/2015 18:17

Struggling to see how not being able to swim puts someone at a social disadvantage or under privileged..
If they can get themselves out if a difficult situation in water then that's all I'm bothered about. We've spent a fortune on swimming lessons and travelled miles. They can float. They can't swim. It's frustrating but hasn't exactly turned them into social pariahs Grin

EBearhug · 20/01/2015 18:48

Struggling to see how not being able to swim puts someone at a social disadvantage or under privileged.

Someone pointed out above that the cost of swimming lessons can be prohibitive, and you say yourself you've spent a fortune on lessons and travelled miles. And people who have houses with their own swimming pools are definitely not on the poverty line, so I guess there is a class element. It could be a marker of being underprivileged.

Mind you, if I'd spent a fortune on lessons and they still couldn't swim, I'd probably be feeling a bit more than frustrated.

VinoTime · 20/01/2015 19:01

I don't personally see it as a life skill unless you put yourself in the position to need to swim.

For example. I hate swimming. I hated learning. I hate swimming pools. I hate the way your skin and hair smell after being in a pool. I don't like going into the sea above knee height. I don't like the feeling of being in deep water. I don't take cruises and I live in a town that's placed far away from the seaside and located on the top of a monster hill, so flooding is never a risk. I don't need to know how to swim and I don't ever put myself in situations where I will need to swim. Swimming is not an essential life skill for me.

The same thought process cannot be had by a lifeguard.

DD (7) wanted to learn. She has lessons. It's essential for her to have those lessons because she loves being in the pool whilst on holiday. If she hated the water, swimming lessons would be pretty pointless.

Only1scoop · 20/01/2015 19:02

"Struggling to see how not being able to swim puts you at a social disadvantaged or underprivileged"

That's not what was said in the post refered to was it? unless I'm missing something.

Idontseeanysontarans · 20/01/2015 19:19

Only1scoop it was a comment on a couple of posts referencing social disadvantage and possible underprivileged children.

Greywackejones · 20/01/2015 19:23

any parent who doesn't make their child learn to swim is a twat of the highest twat order

End of really

OllyBJolly · 20/01/2015 19:24

Totally agree. I'm very nervous in water despite having parents and siblings who competed at swimming. Both my DDs could swim by age 3 and I'm now taking DN (7) to weekly lessons.

However, not sure I'd force them. I know how terrified I am (bizarrely of water going in my ears - not so much lungs!) and it could so easily become a phobia. I'd maybe suggest going regularly just to splash around and get used to water before launching into lessons.

Second the private lessons. My two had private lessons and niece started with private one to one lessons but now loves the classes.

Lweji · 20/01/2015 20:02

any parent who doesn't make their child learn to swim is a twat of the highest twat order

That is a really twatish statement of the highest twat order of the most twatish statements.

You can't make a child learn to swim if they refuse to or are scared of the water.
You can do your best to encourage them to learn but you can't make them.

Lweji · 20/01/2015 20:04

Also, self defence could save your life just the same as swimming and most children't don't learn it. (BTW, martial arts is not the same as self defence)

And BTW, my child has been learning both. :)

Biggles398 · 20/01/2015 20:09

It's important people learn to swim. It can also makes holidays etc much more fun!
My daughter has been swimming since she was 10 weeks old, loves it and is confident in the water.
My OH was never taught to swim and is scared of the water (convinced he will drown, even if you inform him he is still within his depth).
So when we go away, she wants to go to water parks etc, and he can't join in :(

Dutch1e · 20/01/2015 22:11

Grew up on a tiny island and now living in the netherlands (loads of canals etc) so yes swimming is vital. But more important is general water-awareness, of which swimming is a small part.

It used to frighten me how many tourists would jump in with zero knowledge of tides/currents and feel completely safe just because they could do a few laps in a pool. Or how many people have no training or practice in basic life-saving. Or how few of us can see the huge difference between knowing how to swim and how to manage a sudden plunge, fully clothed, into a near-freezing canal.

It starts with swimming, definitely. But there's more to it in order to qualify as an Essential Life Skill.

mushypeasontoast · 20/01/2015 22:56

Ds1 swims brilliantly, has been a club swimmer.
Ds2 can do lengths just with no style. Im not sure he can swim but he can "not drown".
Dd swims like ds1, with lessons and practice she would swim brilliantly but we cant afford it. In school she was only allowed to swim for short distances yet with me she would do 100m.

Ds2 and dd love swimming in the sea, ds1 is not as confident, he doesnt like cold water!

I have taught all three how to curl into a ball and bob to the surface like a cork.

ChocLover2015 · 21/01/2015 13:29

Struggling to see how not being able to swim puts someone at a social disadvantage or under privileged

  1. No swimming parties, pool parties when older, being the only non-swimmer in PE lessons.
  2. why vcan so few pupils at her pool swim then? At my DDs school everyone in her Y3/4/5 class can swim apart from one child who has a disability which means he is not allowed to
Letmeeatcakecakecake · 21/01/2015 13:37

I absolutely agree op, but I may be biased as I love love love swimming!

I don't know where you live but in my area primary school children go swimming with the school once a week when they're about 9, I would hate for my son to be the one in the lowest group who can't swim and the other kids pick on! That alone as a thought was enough to send me little lad to swimming lessons!