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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think swimming is an essential life skill

109 replies

Efferlunt · 20/01/2015 00:49

DS1 (5) isn't going to bother to learn to swim - he can't see the point as he can wear armbands. DH thinks that we shouldn't make him if he doesn't want to. I disagree. I think it's my responsibility as a parent to ensure he can swim so he's having lessons whether he like it or not.
AIBU?

OP posts:
SpaghettiMeatballs · 20/01/2015 07:50

I couldn't agree more OP. We live on an island after all!

I want my DCs to feel confident in the water, have a cheap sport they can keep up through their lives if they so wish, enjoy their holidays and feel happy taking any DCs they may have swimming in the future.

Could you show him pictures of places he might like to swim in the future where he can't wear armbands. Eg water parks abroad?

KoalaDownUnder · 20/01/2015 08:13

By all means encourage children to swim, it's sociable and healthy but it is not much more likely to save your life than tennis!

What? That's just daft.

There are exactly zero situations where knowing how to play tennis will save your life.

On the other hand, there are countless lakes, beaches, rivers, ponds, swimming pools etc that the average person will encounter over a lifetime.

Nobody is saying the child needs to take swimming as a sport. But a level of confidence in the water is far, far more important than being competent at skiing.

BoozeyTuesday · 20/01/2015 08:17

I suppose it is but people on here say that the same about driving. I can swim but not drive. Can't have it all fi?

Only1scoop · 20/01/2015 08:21

Yanbu it so important and the younger they learn the more confident they become....

scarletforya · 20/01/2015 08:26

It's a great skill to have. I can swim a bit, very badly. Twice on holiday I've got into trouble on boat trips.

But it's not just a nice thing to have on holidays, it could save his life someday.

Fluffyears · 20/01/2015 08:28

Yangsyn that's a ridiculous statement. There was a story in the newspaper about a three year old who accidentally fell in a canal, her dad was just ripping his top and shoes off to dive in after Her when he looked down and saw her confidently swim to the bank. So I take it her swimming lessons from a very young age had no effect?

Swimming and knowing how to swim saved that little girls life.

It is essential as accidents happen.

TarkaTheOtter · 20/01/2015 08:40

I think swimming is a desirable life skill but I don't think it is essential in the UK. The 3yr old mentioned above was being supervised, hence the dad being about to jump in. I expect a lot of deaths from drowning come from over confident swimmers - certainly the one that touched my life was.
Swimming/swimming lessons are expensive. Supervising children around water and teaching a healthy respect for the dangers of water has got to be a better investment.

Only1scoop · 20/01/2015 08:44

If a three year old falls in a canal and can swim .....they sure have a better chance of surviving than if they don't.

mameulah · 20/01/2015 08:45

It is as essential as teaching him to wear a seatbelt in a car. You don't ever expect to have needed to but you wouldn't ever not bother with it.

If your son wasn't bother about eating fruit and vegetables you wouldn't dismiss that either!

My DH and I very much agree on the importance of swimming. So much so that I am sure the other one would pursue it anyway if we did happen to disagree.

Hakluyt · 20/01/2015 08:49

No I don't. I think the swimming lesson industry is second only to the bottled water industry in its marketing triumph. Millions of pounds made out of well meaning conscientious people for no purpose whatsoever.

Being able to swim is fantastic. And in some circumstances essential. But if you think for a minute that being able to swim a width of a heated pool in a swimming costume is going to be of the remotest use to a toddler who falls fully clothed into a canal you are sadly deluded.

DurhamDurham · 20/01/2015 08:53

I think that although it is important to learn to swim I would not make a five year old take lessons if he is so against it. It could be counter productive and it could put him off swimming off life. I'd leave it a year and then think about it. Take him swimming and have lots of fun, he will build up his confidence and might even learn to swim without realising it.
My oldest dd had swimming lessons,my youngest didn't have any formal lessons that I paid for and out of the two she is probably the most competent and confident in the water.

footallsock · 20/01/2015 08:55

Essential life skill. Also they can end up excluded from trips and parties etc if they involve water and child can't swim

WhereHas1999DissappearedToo · 20/01/2015 08:58

YANBU. Dd (15) started swimming at the age of 5, Surf Life Saving at 6, then started competitive swimming at 9 and she did water-polo for a bit too. But we live in New Zealand where we are completely surrounded by water, DD is a trained life guard now at beaches.

She's says when she's on duty there are heaps of people who struggle to swim in the beach, if they could swim it would make their lives a whole lot safer. It really does save lives, we lost 10 people here in NZ just over the christmas period due to drowning :(

Hakluyt · 20/01/2015 08:59

"Also they can end up excluded from trips and parties etc if they involve water and child can't swim"

I agree with that. Same goes for riding a bike. Not an essential life skill, however desirable.

Madamecastafiore · 20/01/2015 09:00

Tell your 5 year old he'll be laughed at when he goes on his first holiday with his mates and he has to pack his armbands!

notnaice · 20/01/2015 09:03

I agree with you, but one of my dcs struggled to learn at 4 but was fine at 6. I wouldn't force him but I'd definitely try bribing by offering a huge reward for however many metres. If that doesn't work leave it a couple of years and just take him swimming regularly yourself, but yes I do think it is our responsibility to make sure they are confident in water.

DollyMcDolly · 20/01/2015 09:05

My son refuses to get in the water. He hates getting his clothes wet. Even a tiny drop of water on his clothes results in him crying and taking them off. Don't know what will happen when school starts lessons as he absolutely refuses to go near a pool with me. He has just turned 7.

EBearhug · 20/01/2015 09:12

teaching a healthy respect for the dangers of water

I think this should definitely go alongside it - but alongside learning to swim, not instead of it.

Iloveadrianmole · 20/01/2015 09:18

Swimming is the one activity that's non negotiable in our house.

We live on a small island and I need to know my children can swim confidently. We have taken them from being babies so they are used to being in the water - my son still has lessons but my daughter has now progressed to swimming with a swimming club.

I do however teach them that just because they can swim well doesn't mean they're invincible - they still have an awareness of the dangers of water.

Andrewofgg · 20/01/2015 09:29

Swimming without armbands or goggles is an essential and might save your life - with either of those it's just a pleasant pastime.

Livingtothefull · 20/01/2015 09:34

I agree that swimming is an essential life skill but think the real issue with some people is lack of confidence in the water….once that is got over the swimming should come naturally.

As a child I had nightmares with swimming lessons, I just could not do the things the others were doing (take my feet off the bottom etc) as I didn't trust the water. It was so humiliating and undermining of my confidence that in the end I told my parents I didn't want to carry on with the lessons, so they gave up.

I got over my fears in the end only as an adult by getting back in the water and breaking down the fear in a very systematic way. I will never be a great swimmer but at least have overcome my fear and can swim reasonably competently.

Children lack confidence in the water may initially need a sensitive teacher (possibly 1 to 1) to help them build their confidence.

BiddyPop · 20/01/2015 09:49

I agree it's essential.

I learned as a child - we had an annual "swim week" with instructors coming to teach any kids in the area who wanted to, as we lived by the sea with no pool locally. But we'd spend a lot of the summer in and around the water anyway. And I'd go to the pool of my DAunt's gym when I visited my grandparents too.

DH didn't really learn as a child. But when he was finished college and working, he went to lessons at night as I was such a swimmer (not necessarily brilliant - I'd just go swimming a fair amount and spend a long time in the water). So he went from a very poor doggie paddle and always head out of the water (very uncomfortable in the water altogether) to being quite happy in the water now - he has even been able to learn to scuba dive a couple of years ago!! (I can't do that as I have asthma Angry).

DD (now 9) has had lessons since she was small. I used to take her to baby sessions when I was on mat leave, she had lessons in Montessori, and we took her to lessons once she went to school. She is a happy little swimmer now, and like both of us, seems happiest under water rather than on top. We don't have time for swimming lessons anymore (too many other sports and activities) but she is competent (can do lengths when it suits her) and is also doing sailing so mucking about around the water a fair amount.

IgnoreMeEveryOtherReindeerDoes · 20/01/2015 10:06

I don't know if it essential life skill, but it comes in handy when kids are old enough to go swimming with mates. My dad taught us and took us swimming when we were younger. Like I did with my DD, she won't even own a swimming costume now and I'm knacked after 1 length so chances of been able to save myself if fell fully clothed in canal wouldn't be great.

littlejohnnydory · 20/01/2015 10:39

It's important, yes - but formal lessons are prohibitively expensive for a lot of families.

FriendlyLadybird · 20/01/2015 10:49

My DH comes from generations of sailors -- none of whom could swim. In fact, they didn't learn on principle, arguing that if you get into a position where you have to swim, it's all a bit late anyway.

There are, however, many positives to learning to swim -- but absolutely no need to push it at 5. My DS swam like a stone, terrified of putting his face in the water, until 9. THEN he got it, and very quickly too. Having been in the 'bottom group' in school swimming lessons, he shot up to the 'top group' and was winning races by the end of the year.

Formal lessons, both those we paid for and those given by the school, were a waste of time, by the way. It was family swimming sessions that did it.