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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to just make DD go to a club/class?

53 replies

MrsTawdry · 19/01/2015 14:54

She's ten and HATES sport etc. She does ballroom on an evening one night a week but it's really sedate..she's getting lazier and stiffer...can't touch her toes.

She won't go on a scooter or bike, hates walking and running.

I'm booking her in for kids yoga and making her do it.

AIBU?

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 19/01/2015 14:57

There will be no point if she doesn't enjoy it. Walk to school and shops? Walk as a family around shops, local 'fun' stuff? Just get her moving in a non-judgmental way. Trampolining, martial arts and others are fun and could work for people me who don't like traditional exercise.

Micah · 19/01/2015 15:01

Can you come up with a list of activities- climbing, trampolining, swimming, diving, martial arts, archery, ski ing, ice skating, football, weightlifting, netball, badminton....anything she might even vaguely think interesting.

List them in order, then offer to pay for a certain amount of sessions or a term (usually about 10?). Stuck with it a term, then if she really hates it move to the next activity...

capsium · 19/01/2015 15:02

Try it? Maybe for the first few sessions to see if she sees the benefit. However Yoga can be quite intensive, not exactly laugh a minute and you have to concentrate, so probably wouldn't feel the benefit if was not serious about it.

ChocLover2015 · 19/01/2015 15:04

Please don't.
I coach a children's sport and the kids who don't want to be the there are a total PITA.

MrsTerryPratchett · 19/01/2015 15:34

Not just that Choc. Trying to inspire a life-long love of exercise, and not making a life-long hatred of it is what we are doing. The main goal as far as I can work it out is not to get kids fit but to produce adults who stay fit.

It took me decades to get over school sports and realise that not every activity was fucking netball.

MildDrPepperAddiction · 19/01/2015 15:42

Why don't you try yoga with her a few times at home before booking a class. YouTube have loads if vids on kids yoga. My dc do the couch kids ones and like them (though they might be a bit 'young' for a 10yo)

stealthsquiggle · 19/01/2015 15:45

Could you present her with a list of options and get her to choose one (or more, but not less) for herself. You may even find that there are free taster sessions to get her sold? Street Dance? Climbing?

MrsTerryPratchett · 19/01/2015 15:48

Also, try to play to her strengths. Is she long, big, small, an extrovert, an introvert, short bursts of energy or slow and steady? Easily bored or sticks with things, dressed-up or slobby? 'Cool' or couldn't care?

WorraLiberty · 19/01/2015 15:48

Doesn't she have friends in the street that she plays out with?

Or a garden/trampoline/skipping rope etc?

kinkytoes · 19/01/2015 15:53

I can't touch my toes but it's not because I'm lazy. My body is just not engineered that way. I used to do gymnastics btw, so had plenty of opportunity.

Try a different dance class, salsa or something else a bit less sedate?

Original poster
MrsTawdry · 19/01/2015 16:56

Worra no. Unfortunately we seem to live in an area where NO kids are allowed out. She's gone out in the summer with her younger sister in the hope some others might come out but they never do and now it's Winter...she can't exactly go out in the dark and snow.

As for the other sporting suggestions...oh I've mentioned them ALL believe me.

All she says is "no. I don't want to do that"

To EVRYTHING physical.

She's too sedentary. FAR too sedentary and though she's not overweight I am concerned that if she continues like this she soon will be.

Walking to the shops...someone suggested that...we already do that but that's not proper excersise...it's a moderate walk. She needs something more energetic or challenging.

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 19/01/2015 18:35

Walking is proper exercise. You just have to do a lot more of it than Zumba.

What does she love? What are her passions?

CMOTDibbler · 19/01/2015 18:42

How about suggesting entering Race For Life together so you can start C25K as a team?

Things that you do together with some sort of aim are much more likely to be successful at getting her to participate.

Depending on her sisters age, road cycling could be an option - my 8 year old enjoyed training towards an 18 mile event initially, and training rides are broken up with a cake stop

mrsmootoo · 19/01/2015 18:46

I hated sport (esp team games) at school. I'm now quite fit because I got motivated as an adult. DD1 also hated sport but I made her go to swimming lessons. Didn't succeed in making her do anything else (and tbh I could see her point as I'd always hated it too) but I wanted her to have exercise. I managed to force the swimming on her till she was about 12 because I said it was a life skill. Side benefit was of course that she had much more fun on hols etc. She's now 17 and never swims (except on hol) or goes to the gym that I stupidly paid upfront for (not renewing) ...you can take them to water - ha! DD2 (15) more motivated and DS (9) charges about all the time. I think it's down to them and you can only force so much and hope that they come round in the end. Otherwise, as others say, walk to school etc (at least DD1 walks to college).

BackforGood · 19/01/2015 18:55

Just for info - none of my 3 dc can touch their toes.... they aren't fat or unfit, they just have a weird gene from dh's side of the family, obviously short hamstrings.

Just saying Wink

ShakesBootyFlabWobbles · 19/01/2015 18:56

Could you do a different weekly/monthly family activity that is physical but with an emphasis on 'fun' rather than activity? e.g. ice skating, do-nutting (dry ski slope), horse riding, family swim at a leisure pool (climbing lots of steps to go up the flume tubes), Go Ape, climbing wall and abseil, canoeing at local lake, family ceilidh, theme park (walking all day), find a large park locally with zip wire/oversize see saw aimed at 10 year olds and take a few of her friends too, free taster sessions at leisure centre or council facilities?

I appreciate some of these are more costly than others, but say one pricey one and three cheaper/free per month? She may find something she likes that way.

Purplepoodle · 19/01/2015 19:16

If she likes ballroom then I would have thought ice skating might suit her. Could you book her a course of classes, say 6 in agreement she does them but don't have to continue after the 6 if she really doesn't like it. I think if you talk to her about trying something for at least 5/6 sessions the she can stop if she doesn't like it. Then give it another 3/4 weeks off and try something else. Mum did this with me and discovered judo on the 5th hobby attempt.

What about something like scouts?

voddiekeepsmesane · 19/01/2015 19:35

We as a family were very sedentary until 18 months ago. DS was ambivalent to exercise or activity because it was a learnt behaviour from his father and me. We then took up a hobby as a family that involves exercise and getting out at least once a week for a few hours ( geocaching). It has changed our family attitude completely. Sometimes we need to look at ourselves as parents and what kind of attitude and role models we are projecting.

KnackeredMerrily · 19/01/2015 20:09

Yanbu - i agree with the others, find 5-10 options and make her pick one for a term. Make weekend treats like cinema or a friend coming over conditional on a family activity like a long walk or swimming

I had a sedentry childhood. I regret the habit now!

Marphe · 19/01/2015 20:16

How active are you? That's the main thing that will make a difference to her long term.

Would she do Guides? Lots of different active activities but not much actual sport.

RoganJosh · 19/01/2015 20:19

What about geocaching? You could then do a good walk (at a decent pace) but with a purpose.

Tinks42 · 19/01/2015 20:21

At the age of 10, these things can't be pushed. I hated any type of sport. Walking is all that's needed.

Is she very overweight?

If not, I'd leave her alone.

TorianaTollywobbles · 19/01/2015 20:44

MrsT, my also ten year old dd is exactly the same! Hates sport, PE lessons, walking, swimming, you name it. However, she has recently tried climbing and absolutely loves it which has really surprised me. It really is a case of finding something they really enjoy.

She was also not keen on bike riding at all, but we have also recently found the right bike for her and this has made a real difference. For the first time she was actually asking to go out on it. The bike is a ladies fold up one from decathlon. With the seat and handles at the lowest level it fits her fine, and the riding position is quite upright and steady, so i think this makes her feel safer. It will also grow with her so no wasted money on one she will grow out of.

I think as others have said try some different activities and see how she goes. You have my sympathy though it is hard to make them do anything.

Andrewofgg · 19/01/2015 20:47

I long ago worked out that the purpose of compulsory sport in schools is not to make children fit - it is to make them resourceful in finding ways to get out of it.

Sorry OP it is not fair to trainers or to keen children to inflict a conscript on them. You will have to find something that grabs her imagination. In my case it was swimming precisely because it was not a team activity.

ToysRLuv · 19/01/2015 20:51

I was made to do sports but only wanted to do the one that my parents couldn't afford (horse riding), so ended up pretty sedentary (apart from a few years when my ED reared its ugly head and I would do punishing workouts to burn up the calories). Still can't ride as it costs too much and we haven't a car to get to the stables out of town. Also, have dodgy ankles which cause me pain when I ride with stirrups (even with ankle supports).. Should really show DS (5) a better example by dragging him out on walks more often, but my nerves cannot take the whining and complaining. Luckily DS is a very healthy weight and self regulates with sweets etc. Just cannot make him do anything he does not want to. Maybe when he is a bit older and not worried about taking classes on his own, I'll make him try something, at least swimming (right now he is scared if the idea).

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