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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to just make DD go to a club/class?

53 replies

MrsTawdry · 19/01/2015 14:54

She's ten and HATES sport etc. She does ballroom on an evening one night a week but it's really sedate..she's getting lazier and stiffer...can't touch her toes.

She won't go on a scooter or bike, hates walking and running.

I'm booking her in for kids yoga and making her do it.

AIBU?

OP posts:
afussyphase · 19/01/2015 20:57

Andrewofgg -- totally made me smile with that comment Grin

For better or worse it also accentuates our identity as "not athletic", "intellectual", "someone who doesn't fit in", "someone who can't run" and all that! Took me till I was about 24 to realise that in fact, I was strong enough to carry a canoe on my head from the end of one lake to the start of the next, and in fact, I could run. However, I do have a PhD and an academic job. So maybe it was all for the best. Who knows, if it hadn't been for school sports I might have fit in or something (doubtful).

Littleturkish · 19/01/2015 21:07

What about a circuit training type class? That is great for short attention spans and would make an hour go quickly. Our local leisure centre does them for Tweens.

Discopanda · 19/01/2015 21:13

What about a Wii? If she starts doing the dance or sports games she might find something she wants to do in real life.

Tinks42 · 19/01/2015 21:14

Circuit training Grin Yeah that will grab her.

I don't know where all this "exercising" comes from to be fair.

It's totally unnecessary, she has feet, she can walk. Just wait till boys come to the fore. Believe me, her and pals will all be walking around the local mall non stop Grin

Taffeta · 19/01/2015 21:17

My DD (8) isn't a massive fan of any of it, but I make her go swimming x once a week, she also does netball and tag rugby but that's mainly as her friends do it. She does gym also but has tried to give that up a few times, she "doesn't mind it". So she's not saying no, but she would never say "Yay! Gym!" etc.

So I suppose I "make" her. I wouldn't force her to do something she hated but I'd use persuasion and bribery......eg Sometimes a family bike ride is more attractive if there's a visit somewhere fun at the end etc.

Petallic · 19/01/2015 21:20

Scouts? Guides? They do lots of physical activities and it would give her chance to try lots of new things she might be currently saying no to like climbing etc. plus she might have friends who already go or who could join with her so less scary

Tinks42 · 19/01/2015 21:21

Sorry to be so blaze about it but I talk from experience here.

Why on earth does everyone think that they should be shoved into classes of some sort?

I have known countless kids to be fat as barrels who were shoved into any amounts of classes from the age of 3. I have also known couch potato kids that are now very strapping lean 17 year olds that did nothing.

Tinks42 · 19/01/2015 21:26

Try a sort of grown up thing for her now if you have to.

Cadets is a fab thing, (the persona of scouts is naff for them, even though Bear Grills tried to make it not) They get to do things that are a bit "edgy" and dangerous. It might appeal far more to that age.

ashtrayheart · 19/01/2015 21:27

Yabu to make her. Yanbu to find something you could do together and encourage her. Failing that nothing wrong with walking, my exercise is walking to work everyday and more at a weekend.

Tinks42 · 19/01/2015 21:28

Tell her she can take a mate to try it out (there are hot boys of 15 too) (grin)

rookiemere · 19/01/2015 21:38

Oh yes cadets - I was amazed at the change in my friends DD the last time I saw her. She had been slightly on the stocky side, but is now in cadets which is amazing as she is quite a girly girl ( they think there may be a boy crush involved) and has totally sprouted up and really enjoys it.

I feel your pain though OP. DS is naturally sedentary and I have to push him out the door to cubs & rugby. I don't feel guilty doing it - he enjoys it when he is there and he needs some exercise. We're reasonably good as a family - probably could do more walking, but he needs consistent exercise so the activities are a good way to make that happen.

UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea · 19/01/2015 21:46

Exercise isn't just about weight control, it's essential for good growth, building strong bones, as well as good mental health.

I would absolutely push her into finding something physical she liked, in the same way I would insist my child ate fruit or vegetables or washed regularly.

For children her age running round like a loon in the playground is just as good as an organised sport, so you don't have to be prescriptive.

Horse riding is often appealing to girls that age, and it's a great way to meet others as well.

UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea · 19/01/2015 21:51

And as I keep repeating myself on Mumsnet, you are more likely to die early if you are thin and unfit than if you are fat and fit.

Original poster
MrsTawdry · 19/01/2015 22:02

Tinks she's TEN! WHat does she want with "hot boys" ffs.

I am active but she won't join me and the things I do are mostly unsuited to a child of ten anyway.

She needs to do something. YOGA is good all round and good for mind as well as body.

OP posts:
taxi4ballet · 19/01/2015 22:37

Does she enjoy her ballroom dancing still?

Perhaps you could conspire with the teacher who could then helpfully tell her she is doing really well, and they would like her to go twice a week/move up a level/start latin or whatever.

Shhhhhhhh · 19/01/2015 22:47

Mrs Tawdry, I was going to ask whether you are leading by example but obviously you are from your last post.

I would say keep telling her how important it is to keep fit but that doesn't mean doing a sport necessarily though. Walking to and from school counts too. I know you said she doesn't enjoy walking but could you do that? I found the tactic of saying, WE need to keep healthy, if you don't want to walk to the shops with me/walk to school etc, I'll go to the gym instead and we can drive, what do you want to do to keep fit instead?

How about ballet, tap, street dance, Zumba or something else dance related if your DD enjoys ballroom? Or skipping, trampolining, french elastics, playing tag...

I would also say, don't worry about being supple. It's not important to be able to touch your toes. My DS was competing at a national level in his sport. He has NEVER been able to touch his toes. Fitness is more about cardiovascular exercise.

Tinks42 · 19/01/2015 22:48

Yoga? Ballroom?

No of course she doesnt notice boys at 10.

Get real Grin

Cadets is far more edgy and normal for her age.

BramwellBrown · 20/01/2015 00:25

Guides and Scouts are good suggestions, I couldn't stand sports as a child but running round a muddy field playing wide games or games in the hall I was happy to do.

If none of those appeal I would give her a list of sports, including some dance based stuff and tell her to choose one to try.

NotYouNaanBread · 20/01/2015 08:10

It doesn't have to be a sport as such though, right, so long as it's active? What about Stagecoach? Or ballet?

Original poster
MrsTawdry · 20/01/2015 09:01

Tinks are you suggesting that she SHOULD notice boys at ten! And your wording "hot 15 year old boys" in relation to a ten year old is questionable at best and bloody WEIRD at worst.

She likes ballroom....it's her hobby. She doesn't want to be around things where there's a lot of noise or action, she never has. I must say...if other parents are actively encouraging 10 year old girls to think 15 year old boys are "hot" then I hope my DD doesn't make friends with their daughters.

Saying that...she knows to avoid that type. She hasn't even gone through puberty! Why would she fancy boys!

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsTawdry · 20/01/2015 09:03

AND as for cadets being "edgy" Hmm since when did a military group belong to THAT sub-group! It never did. I wouldn't encourage my child to join the military even in a children's group thanks very much. It's SO far from edgy you've made me laugh!

OP posts:
Tinks42 · 21/01/2015 19:40

Oh get over yourself there. It's better than making them dance around in a flipping tutu.

So, girls of 10 don't have crushes on boys, where on earth have you been.

I suggest Im not the nutter here Grin

Tinks42 · 21/01/2015 19:48

Son is 17 and now taking his last exam to be a kayak instructor.

Cadets has taught him to respect his elders, work as a team/lead a team.

He gets to drive different boats up and down the river all day on a Sunday, participate in the Lord Mayors Show and takes an important part in Remembrance day.

So you tell me what's not fantastic about that. There are just as many girls as boys at Cadets and they learn so many life skills. I can't thank them enough for helping me shape my son into the fantastic late teen he now is.

Rather send a child to one of these things than damn ballroom dancing Grin

Tinks42 · 21/01/2015 20:02

Saying that...she knows to avoid that type

What "type" might that be then?

I know many a private school educated girl that was up to far more than the ones who went to state actually.

murmuration · 21/01/2015 21:11

If she likes ballroom, can you go further with that? I know adult ballroom dancers who get a serious workout at it. Maybe ask the instructor what might be helpful for the dancing -- there might be some kind of cross-training that he/she could suggest.