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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think they shouldn't have named the man driving the bin lorry in George Square?

130 replies

Annunziata · 18/01/2015 13:07

I think he deserves privacy. Poor poor man only went to his work, he didn't mean to cause an accident.

OP posts:
Tinkerball · 18/01/2015 15:08

Alice I'm so sorry for your loss ...

FindoGask · 18/01/2015 15:10

I didn't know they had named him! I do now.

FindoGask · 18/01/2015 15:11

I am so sorry Alice - that is desperately sad.

LadyGlen · 18/01/2015 15:12

Alice There is nothing to say that is adequate - just Flowers

LikeIcan · 18/01/2015 15:13

Alice. I'm so very sorry.

TheyLearnedFromBrian · 18/01/2015 15:18

Alice Flowers I am so sorry to hear your story.

AliceLidl · 18/01/2015 15:19

Thank you everyone, and sorry, I didn't meant to upset everyone.

Just from our experience, it's still possible to feel compassion or empathy for the driver even if he was in some way to blame.

Which at the moment we have no reason to think the driver in Glasgow was.

I'm not saying it's easy, especially when you are so close to the tragedy, but it's possible and in my case finding a place to feel empathy for the driver who killed our daughter has helped me find a bit more peace with her loss.

AliceLidl · 18/01/2015 15:21

I should also say it wasn't this Christmas, it wasn't this recent. I just realised I said 'just before Christmas' and it sounded like this Christmas. Sorry.

expatinscotland · 18/01/2015 15:22

So sorry, Alice.

My ex bf caused the death of a young woman with his driving. Very sadly, he is a vile person and did not feel any sadness about it all. His only long-term feeling was relief at his acquittal, which I found really befuddling and it said a lot about him as a person.

WhereTheFuckIsMyFuckingCoat · 18/01/2015 15:45

I agree with most on thread that he shouldn't have been named. Certainly not before the official findings, as you will get unreasonable and irrational people who will place blame and possibly look to attack him/his family.

Expat, you have since expressed concern at him being named, and scorn at the media sources that did, but your original post on the matter:

"Grieve? Oh, give over! He hasn't lost a loved one."

did seem exceptionally unsympathetic, and was what seemed to raise other posters' hackles. Do you honestly feel that this man won't have to/shouldn't be allowed to grieve?

limitedperiodonly · 18/01/2015 15:58

My friend's father died of a heart attack at the wheel of his car at about 6am on an east London street.

Witness accounts at the inquest said he seemed to swerve away from the bus queue which had a large number of people and crashed into an empty shop window and killed no one.

That could have been true but it also could have been wishful thinking and a bit fanciful.

Those kind of streets are full of people waiting at bus queues to start jobs or come home from anything from the first bus, which I guess is from 5am. My friend's dad would have been keen to get to work too.

She wasn't offended by reporters knocking on her door and asking her what happened. They were polite but she couldn't help them because she wasn't there and knew nothing. They went away.

After the inquest someone came back and did an interview with her which turned into a story about how her dad was a hero who steered away from innocent people in his dying moments.

That wasn't true. She thinks he was probably dead when his car left the road but she liked the story and it didn't hurt any one.

It was an accident.

pippitysqueakity · 18/01/2015 17:32

LadyGlen and Alice Flowers
All this must be raising so much for you both.
Hope you ok.

AgentCooper · 18/01/2015 17:37

I understand that doorstepping is a legit newsgathering activity, limited, but it doesn't stop it being morally bankrupt and disgusting in this case. I don't know what they thought they were going to find out that would bring up anything of public interest.

Alice Flowers

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 18/01/2015 17:44

Such a heart breaking tragedy right before Christmas as well. Not that it would be any easier had it happened at a different time of year.
He was in no blame. The poor guy suffered a heart attack,but even so he'll be racked with guilt forever as anyone would be. I don't personally think he should have been named.

mrscumberbatch · 18/01/2015 18:32

I don't think any reasonable person could be angry or bear any malice to him.

However I am aware of conspiracy theory websites circulating Facebook etc and there's a lot of violent rhetoric.

I really do wish him all the best along with anyone else affected by this tragedy.

Nancy66 · 18/01/2015 18:55

I don't think it's confirmed that he had a heart attack is it? And I would have thought that would be something that could be confirmed pretty quickly/accurately.

limitedperiodonly · 18/01/2015 19:24

AgentCooper I genuinely don't understand what happened here.

Would you mind explaining to me what did.

I'm really not being an arse. I don't know and would be grateful if you could explain. I could look it up but it might be faster if you told me - if you don't mind Smile

Redglitter · 18/01/2015 20:11

Nancy it'll most likely have been confirmed just not released to the public

TinkerbellaPan · 18/01/2015 20:25

Alice Flowers

I think the issue with naming him is that people often struggle when others die, and seek to blame someone/something. However there's often no one to blame, accidents of course happen, but some people still push, push, push to find a scapegoat to blame. Grief is a funny thing as we all know.

My father passed away a few years ago. Perhaps if he had had the surgery he died from done 3 years earlier, he'd be alive now. So I could blame his doctors and gp. But I don't. I'd love another emotion to distract me from the sadness and grief, but blame isn't that emotion.

Sadly there are members of the public who see situations like this as black and white, not many shades of grey, and will see him as a bad person who is to blame as he killed the people. They are the reason why releasing his name is a bad idea!

Flowers for anyone who's lost a loved one or is affected by the tragedy

sleepyhead · 18/01/2015 20:25

I assumed that the press had agreed not to name him. It won't have been hard to identify him. I should imagine they'll have known from fairly soon after the accident from someone at the Western, a visitor or staff,or someone at the council. People like to talk.

But the Record couldn't help themselves. They'll be justifying it to themselves of course. They'll be saying public interest. They'll be saying someone else would have done it if they'd held back.

Well isn't the world just that much better now the tabloid's got its headline.

And now everyone else will print it since its in the public domain.

sleepyhead · 18/01/2015 20:27

They're probably feeling like saints that they held it 4 weeks. So public spirited Hmm

Nancy66 · 18/01/2015 20:35

The Herald named him first, not the Record.

sleepyhead · 18/01/2015 20:38

And now the Mail's running it too.

Guess his time is up. Who'll get the first picture do you think?

Who'll scoop the lot of them by finding out where he is and doorstopping him (in our interest you understand)?

SnakeyMcBadass · 18/01/2015 20:42

Someone close to me was involved in someone's death. The person who died wanted to die, and used a motorway to end their life. My family member will never, ever get past the horror and guilt of it. They suffered from PTSD for years, had flashbacks regularly and it changed the person they are completely. This was 14 years ago now, and the person who died is thought about often, and the anniversary is still a very tough time.

Four weeks on, the driver of that bin lorry will still be trying to process what happened. They are utter bastards for naming him, someone who is probably vulnerable mentally and physically. I hope his family can help put him back together.

QueenBean · 18/01/2015 20:43

The daily record, the daily mail etc etc are absolute gutter press and gutter journalism

We all laugh at the ridiculous stories they post but when it impacts peoples lives, their feelings, their emotion wellbeing, all for sales or clicks, it is NOT ok.

Doorstepping may be legal but that doesn't make it morally right

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