To be miffed at wives turning up at stag do

[1wokeuplikethis]

My df had his stag do & 2 of the guys wives turned up in the club with them.

My df doesn't mind/care but I feel a bit miffed. It's just for blokes surely? Also a bit peeved that the women put pictures on fbook of the stag do, not tagged me & it seems a bit cloying of them to turn up - why not just let your bloke enjoy a very rare boys night? Why put pics on Facebook like we're here and you're not.

I won't mention anything to anybody as there's no point and I don't feel angry, more bemused and don't really get it. AIBU?

Only on mumsñet! Why tge hell should a stag do invite be extended to partners . Yes people are invited on stag and hen dos, usually friends of tge same sex, but sometimes of the opposite sex. But these were partners of the stag friends,and the stag did not invite them. I would be mighty pissed off if my hens brought their partners, if they asked I would say sorry it's ladies only! They were probably bunny boilers who çoukd not trust their men for one night.

But it sounds like everybody had a great night and the only one who's pissed off about it is OP.

I find this whole fb tagging thing utterly weird - it wouldn't occur to me in a million billion years to tag anyone who wasn't I'm the actual photo. If I thought about it though (which I wouldn't) I would think it was more of a snub to actually tag someone who wasn't there! So I think YABU there.
Also, I think more background is needed to the set up of this stag do really. Was the stag do in a local club that everyone goes to every weekend anyway? If so, and if they would go out on a sat night say to this club every week then I see no problem with them turning up as normal, especially as it sounds like you are all friends anyway. If they travelled to a special place and they specifically went there to join the stag and they wouldn't usually go there, then YANBU.

wickedlazy I'm in NI too and it's not uncommon in my circle of friends so I don't think you can generalise that far. It probably depends on the type of stag do.

Having said that, I've now changed my mind since OP has said they weren't invited and think they shouldn't have gone.

Wicked, wouldn't it be very weird if you were a female friend of the groom, to not be invited to his stag do, but to his wife-to-be's hen party, when she's not a particular friend of yours, just because you're a woman?

I have never heard this, and I would have found it very odd to be excluded from a male friend's stag but invited to the hen party of a woman I only know because of my friendship with the man she's marrying!

It all sounds insanely 1950s to me - and the idea that only gay male friends of the bride might be invited to the hen (which I've also never come across) is pretty insulting, as if the fact they're not straight makes them 'female' enough to be hens. Does that mean lesbian friends of the groom are 'allowed' to go on the stag, or do they have to be butch???

I don't recognise this world!

But presumably this kind of attitude explains why the OP's fiance didn't in fact invite his two female friends to his stag, which is the thing that strikes me as odd. If you have a mixed-sex group of friends, but are arbitrarily forbidden from inviting the women to a night out that still retains the traces of it being a lads-only drunken commiseration for going Under the Thumb (because real men don't want to get married, and are coerced into it by women shrieking for diamonds and commitment), maybe those friends may decide to show up anyway...?

If your fiancé invited them then that would be fine, but as he didn't then it's a bit strange of them to turn up. I expect they will say they just ran into them. Maybe they wanted to go to that particular club anyway though.