to think it's really quite offensive to call someone "unhinged" or "deranged"?

[HairyOrk]

I keep seeing it on Mumsnet, if someone's behaviour is a bit odd then they are "unhinged" or if they've gotten something wrong then they're "deranged".
For a site that got its knickers in such a twist about Asda's mental patient halloween costume (which I agreed was wrong) it seems very out of sorts.
AIBU?

It depends if you associate 'deranged' with MH. I don't. It comes from the French (basically 'untidy'). I think the problem is more that we use unscientific, pejorative words to describe MH issues, rather than that we use perfectly descriptive words to talk about behaviour.

In the same way that 'special needs' has become an insult, not because of the words but because of people's prejudices.

Double standards on MN. Well I never....

o you want to suggest a list of acceptable terms?
I take it you don't like the words mad, crazy, batshit, nuts etc. etc.
YABU

I find it offensive that people can say fuck all without someone taking offence

But if someone is acting in an unhinged manner where's the offence in saying so?

I think I broadly agree with MrsTerry.

OP, which words would you use instead?

I use them because they're not words associated with mental illness.

The second we gave power to words over context and intent we lost the ability to allow language to evolve.

IMHO the words are immaterial when it comes to intent.

If enough people start using "fluffy" as a euphemism for (say) someone less able, then pretty soon we'll have calls to ban the word "fluffy". BBC execs will trawl old episodes of Blackadder and Fry & Laurie and excise this pernicious insult.

Then someone will suggest "moist" as a euphemism for (say) someone less able then pretty soon we'll have calls to ban the word "moist". BBC execs will trawl old episodes of Blackadder and Fry & Laurie and excise this pernicious insult.

Meanwhile, children will shout "fluffy" at people in the street with the same spite they used another horrid word when I was young.

It's the spite that hurts, not the word.

I only really see people on Mumsnet offended by these words. These and the words 'insane' and 'mental' are used all the time in real life (by perfectly nice people) with no offence meant - they have become slang words really and they go in trends. I do understand sensitivity over MH issues and prejudices but...well basically exactly what LurkingHusband says, far more eloquently.

Double standards on MN. Well I never

Haha this really.

Mumsnet the place where people get judged for being judgmental and the vast majority of the time the irony of that is completely lost of the non judgemental poster.

I don't really mind the two you mention too much.

I do, however, worry I am the only person in the world who raises an eyebrow at the "Insanity" exercise programme, and wonders if my gym would be so happy to have a ten-foot banner advertising one called "Epilepsy" or "Leprosy".

Would you object to someone saying they have an insane amount of work to do?
It's all about context.

I think you will find that not the whole of Mumsnet and every member got their 'knickers in a twist' over a Halloween outfit.

YABU

Well, nobody who calls somebody deranged or unhinged is going for the cuddly approach -I think the point is for it to be offensive. It isn't a nice thing to say, no and absolutely there are double standards by the tonne here. Still love it though.

They know exactly what they are saying- the aim is to be offensive!
It is the double standard- 5yr olds are expected to be mature, non judgemental and friendly to all - odd when posters on MN can't manage it!

Agree 100% with LurkingHusband here. Words which were fine, even polite, several years ago will find you branded racist or disablist or sexist if you use them now.

As mrsTP says - Special Needs is now and insult - and so it will go on. We need to continue to address prejudice and equal opportunity for all and stop turning being offended and "Hunt the Prejudiced Wanker" into a national sport.

(FWIW I am in several "minority" groups myself and have experienced enough to know the difference between true prejudice and out of fashion words)

How many instances of deranged and unhinged have there been on MN? I must be on the wrong threads. I have mainly read bonkers stuff. Is bonkers allowed?

Of course context is relevant. Part of the context here is that insanity is a medical term for mental illness which was then used as an insult, and is now being used as a brand for an exercise programme. I don't particularly like it, but accept that others view it differently. I also have a thing about anything that gets spat at mentally ill people in the street - psycho (another medical borrowing), nutter, that sort of thing. Deranged and unhinged don't have the same connotations of either coming directly from terminology used for illness or being yelled at people in the street, so don't really bother me.

Over 500 for both- having done a search. It is a popular way for posters to put people down!

To clarify, it's obviously fine for people to say what they want, however they want to say it. I also think it's okay for me to not like it sometimes.

In answer to sparklingbrook.

Bonkers in definitely not allowed. I am offended by that word.

Actually I'm a bit fed up of easily offended people, not just MN btw, in RL too.

I have never noticed but I have loads hidden.

Did you check that for context Mehita? I am far more likely to use a word like that about myself than anyone else. I'm not saying it isn't used as an insult but I imagine a lot of those were, for example, on Sleep threads.

Yabvvvvu there are some very toxic people about if course they are deranged. The thought Police are out to get you!!!!!