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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To eat different food to everyone else on a self catering group holidays

21 replies

Reddottys12 · 15/01/2015 21:47

My sister is going away with a group of friends she hasn't known very long - they're going to a self catering cottage for 4 days. She's on a diet and is having a panic about the rest of the group wanting to food shop as a group and all cook and eat meals together. She doesn't want to make a fuss or look like she's being difficult. I told her to stop being a wuss, man up and just tell them she'll bring her own food.

What's the etiquette with this sort of situation? Is it unreasonable to want to bring your own food or will this look like she's being difficult?

OP posts:

Littlefish · 15/01/2015 21:49

Has she actually talked to them about it?

Surely there are foods they can all eat, even if she is on a diet (unless she's doing lighterlife or something like that).

Actually, I think it's a bit odd to go away with a group and take your own food.

Violettatrump · 15/01/2015 21:51

Can't she just avoid the puddings and carbs but eat the same otherwise?

Teeb · 15/01/2015 21:51

Hmm, I think fine as long as she prepares her own meals/doesn't eat anything of theirs so as to look like she's just doing it to be tight.

I'd probably suggest she go in on their food shopping budget and she just tweaks her meals. They have steak & chips with salad, she has the steak and salad, so she can have the communal accompaniments if that makes sense.

Original poster

Reddottys12 · 15/01/2015 21:52

She's too embarrassed to talk to them about it! She wants to stick to her diet but doesn't want to appear difficult - which I can understand.

OP posts:

WooWooOwl · 15/01/2015 21:53

People get funny about what other people eat, I've been amazed at the strength of reaction on here from people who get annoyed with fussy eaters. Or with anyone that doesn't want to eat the same as the majority. It's weird.

It's not at all unreasonable for your sister to want to bring her own food, and as long as she's considerate about not taking over the kitchen and equipment when the majority need it, it shouldn't be an issue. That doesn't means one people wouldn't be irritated with it though.

Hopefully her new friends are nice people that just want everyone to have what they enjoy.

Chaseface · 15/01/2015 21:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsCakesPrecognition · 15/01/2015 21:53

Surely she can share the group food, making sure she eats more of the healthy stuff, avoids alcohol etc.
I think it would be miserable for her not to muck in, she'll have to wait for the kitchen to be free then always eat a!one just before or after the others.

evenherfartsarefragrant1 · 15/01/2015 21:54

I've been away with my children, a vegan, a friend following a (new that week) diet to start figuring out her IBS. There's always common ground food and we just made meals with a few dishes to help yourself to. I'm sure if she takes a box with some standbys for her and joins in the food shopping expeditions she'll be grand.

WorraLiberty · 15/01/2015 21:57

I genuinely wouldn't care as long as she bought her own food and cooked it.

I really don't see how that might make her 'difficult'?

It's only food and such a small part of the holiday in the grand scheme of things.

Original poster

Reddottys12 · 15/01/2015 21:57

chaseface I actually know someone who did this once!! She made a big fuss about eating healthily and then pigged out on all the bad food we'd paid for. She was a bit of a cow anyway to be honest.

At least my sister has some resolve and won't cheat.

OP posts:

PurpleSwift · 15/01/2015 22:01

Can she just have smaller portions?

amicissimma · 15/01/2015 22:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Siennasun · 15/01/2015 22:07

It depends on the friends. It should be fine for her to get her own food. I can't see why it would be a big deal but I think some people would be weird about it. I don't get why some people care so much about what other people eat!

Jenni2legs · 15/01/2015 22:07

Could she suggest she be the holiday cook and offer to make everyone delicious healthy meals? Then she can be in charge of the shopping - making sure there's wine and malteasers or whatever for nibbling on later for the non-dieters?

DoItTooJulia · 15/01/2015 22:07

I'm veggie and have been away ina break like this with my friends. They were all really accommodating and lovely about it, but then, they did know about it...

If your sister doesn't say anything, rocks up and is weird about her food, her friends won't thank her!

maddening · 15/01/2015 22:11

Another veggie here and one who can't handle spicy food - it is so rare for me to eat the same as everyone else - if anyone was upset by this I would think them a twat.

Bakeoffcakes · 15/01/2015 22:19

What sort of diet is she on? Can't she just adapt it and do like others have suggested, smaller portions, no puddings, low carb etc?

We have big family holidays and there are 18 of us. We tend to do buffet type meals so everyone can eat what they want.

It might be a bit awkward to have to cook different meals.

FightOrFlight · 15/01/2015 22:27

< pulls out the big guns >

I'm vegan so would need to mix and match with what we were eating. Veggieburgers instead of beefburgers yada yada yada. Chips and salad go with pretty much everything, jacket potato and baked beans are quick and easy to prepare so I would make sure I was sitting and eating with everyone else.

Agree that smaller portions of the less healthy foods boosted by veg and salad will be fine for the week. Take a bt more exercise if she's worried about consuming extra calories. Add tonic water/soda water to the wine to make a spritzer. There's loads of ways to get around being on a diet and still be part of the communal eating and drinking.

PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange · 15/01/2015 22:29

It's a hoilday, I think as part of a heathy attitude to dieting that hoildays and special occasion to treat yourself.

StilleNachtCarolling · 15/01/2015 22:37

I also think that people get very funny when others are seen to be being 'fussy' about food. If someone is on a diet and wants to eat healthier or specific food then it shouldn't be viewed as a problem by others. Unfortunately she'll probably get a lot of the 'oh, you're on holiday, it won't kill you for a few days' comments.

I have IBD and a lot of the time I can't eat quite a lot of food: gluten, dairy, ANY veg or fruit, sweets, chocolate, caffeine, nuts, seeds etc. I also can't really drink alcohol - also due to IBD but because the meds I take for it damage my liver without me voluntarily adding to the problem.

But because sometimes, during periods of remission, I can eat normal food like normal people, others think that I'm being immensely difficult and fussy just for shits and giggles. I try to explain but they aren't interested.

Original poster

Reddottys12 · 16/01/2015 22:02

Thanks all. After reading your comments, I convinced my sister to bring it up with the group.... they actually told her to bring her own food because they would be ordering ready meals only. So problem sorted I suppose! She's on slimming world for those who asked. Tricky as you have to cook fresh and low fat. Anyway, I'm sure she'll be fine and at least they all know now. :)

OP posts:

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