I was walking home from school pick up with my reception age child and younger child in a buggy. Because it was raining I'd put my youngest in an all in one rain suit thing and a took a hat and wellies for my eldest. The hat I use to help keep the hood on and to cover her fringe - she insists on having her hair up in a plait, I can't do french plaits and her hair is curly and rebellious like mine so would just unravel. This means the hood can't reach right to the front of her head but the bobble on the hat keeps it at least half on. She's the sort of child to strip off her layers in cold and rain and wonder round in a summer dress in winter. She is also happy to complain if she is unhappy, this is no shrinking violet! I also don't think getting wet is a terrible thing, particularly when we are heading home to a well heated house with lots of warm and clean clothes.
We also have a long walk home, I have a long term back problem and usually am in a lot of discomfort or pain. We have to walk passed lots of other kids from various schools. On our last leg of the journey I hear a screeching of "hat" "hat" "hat" behind me. I can see both kids have their hats and haven't dropped them (this is common) but no this woman is telling me off because my eldest's hood isn't completely on her head. The women then starts trying to force the hood back over my DD's head. I do not know this woman, she is either a childminder or grandparent and had a few children with her who go to a different school (we go to the MC CoE school while the area itself is considered fairly deprived). I tell her not to do that and leave my DD alone. She tells me 'she will get wet' and I say 'a bit a rain won't harm anyone'. She retorts that 'she will get a cold'. I tell her to learn some science, being out in the rain doesn't give people colds, it's bacteria and germs' (I did mean viruses sorry). She then tells me I am a bad mother, which is just a horrible thing to say over something so minor and in front of my children and her charges. I left it with calling her an interfering old lady but think I was very reserved considering.
I don't know if it's unreasonable to expect strangers to not man handle my children, we live in London and it's not something I expect or am comfortable with. As a family we don't much support and involvement of family or friends in bringing up our children. I think I'm doing a decent job considering both physical problems and severe depression. I'm 32 and a very capable adult, however I have been told I look much younger - I do wonder if this was the reason for her being patronising, interfering and insulting - I'm told I'd pass as ten years younger. I doubt this woman would've done this to my husband (because mothers are judged so much more than fathers) or someone her own age. I really struggle with feeling negatively judged and it's led to avoiding talking to people and having bad social anxiety. I also have no flipping clue what is reasonable and whether I deserved that. I know my kids didn't deserve to hear it.