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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To consider spending £400 on a sleep consultant?

79 replies

Feelingverysleepy · 13/01/2015 09:16

I am just beyond exhausted. I've not had a single full nights sleep (or even more than 3-4hrs continual) in 3+ yrs. 3yo wakes for a variety of reasons most nights and 10month old has never slept through (although I no longer feed at night). DH has a friend who's raving about miracles of the sleep cons they hired..... I am so tempted, even if it means no holiday this year (if I could sleep, that would be a good enough break!!).
Has it worked for you? Or would IBU to spend the cash on something I could / should prob be able to sort out myself?

OP posts:
formerbabe · 13/01/2015 09:18

Why does your 3 year old wake up? 3 is an age where you can reason/explain bribe them to go to sleep! What do you do when they wake up?

ILoveYouBaby · 13/01/2015 09:19

Sounds entirely reasonable. But first I'd rule out any medical reasons, have you spoken to your gp?

Sheitgeist · 13/01/2015 09:21

Excuse my lack of knowledge here, but what do sleep consultants do? Would it be to help you sleep or your DC? If the latter, you could probably get lots of free advice on settling your DC on here or from your HV.

Anyway, sounds grim, poor you Flowers

tak1ngchances · 13/01/2015 09:21

I have spent a lot lot more than that on a sleep consultant and I have to say it was money well spent.

Gunpowder · 13/01/2015 09:24

YANBU. I would have sold DH if it meant DD slept through in the dark days. Have always been scared it won't work but in retrospect should have gone for it, maybe I still should!

If nothing else, the fact that you've spent £400 should encourage you and your DH to stick to the plan.

Good luck!

grovel · 13/01/2015 09:26

Do it.

CaulkheadUpNorth · 13/01/2015 09:26

From your op it sounds like you aren't sleeping due to dc waking? If they were asleep would you sleep for longer? Otherwise surely you're spending money, possibly sorting your sleep out but still waking a lot anyway.

toomuchtooold · 13/01/2015 09:27

Definitely NBU!

We did it with our twins, best money I have EVER spent.

CaulkheadUpNorth · 13/01/2015 09:30

Having just read other posts i realise the sleep consultant is for the children and not you. Sorry Blush

BathshebaDarkstone · 13/01/2015 09:31

YANBU. I've heard a lot of good reports from people who've used sleep consultants. Smile

Ragwort · 13/01/2015 09:33

But what really is a sleep consultant going to do that you can't do yourself - ie: if the SC recommends some form of controlled crying and you are really against controlled crying assume you've tried it already then would you really follow their advice?

I have a friend whose children won't sleep (they are coming up to early teens Shock) but quite honestly she won't really 'try' anythinig to help them learn to self settle and seems to just accept that they will disturb her or DH every night.

Original poster
Feelingverysleepy · 13/01/2015 09:37

Thank you - I have spent ages over the yrs online reading advice, but nothing seems to work.... Perhaps the idea of spending the money just to force me to follow through with a plan would be well spent.
HVs have been helpful - but can really only offer a 10min chat which reiterates what I've read online.

3yo wakes for anything really - needing a wee, wanting milk, 'spiders' in his bed .... Think we tackle that pretty well & quickly - it's just that coupled with the baby there's always one of them awakeSad

OP posts:
PoppyAmex · 13/01/2015 09:38

My first child slept through the night for the first time at 15 months.

Her brother (20 months age gap) was going the same way until someone recommended a specific sleep consultant here.

She had him sleeping through the night in 1 week and a half without leaving him to cry (I'm a wuss).

That woman saved my sanity and is worth her weight in gold. I just sent her flowers last week and wish I could shower her with pearls and trinkets Grin

evertonmint · 13/01/2015 09:38

Heavens! You poor lady!

I have a thread in chat about my nightmarish 6.5mo - I got lots is useful tips and came up with my own plan from all the advice which largely resembles Andrea Grace's approach (she seems yo get rave reviews as a sleep consultant) and in 2 nights I've gone from feeding every hour in bed with a boy who refused his cot and would often be wide awake for 2-3 hours for no reason to him sleeping 12 hours in his cot and a stretch of 11.30-5 last night. And it's not about abandoning him to cry either. It may be worth a try with your 10mo for a few nights?

My next step probably was a sleep consultant and I'd probably do it for the 3yo.

I'll try and work out how to link to my thread (in phone app at the mo)

AlfAlf · 13/01/2015 09:39

Go for it.
I know two families that used a sleep consultant and they completely recommend it.

PoppyAmex · 13/01/2015 09:39

Can't link on my phone but if you look for a hard under the sleep topic called "Misery loves company" you'll meet other MN'tters whose children she cloned into sleeping beings

Eastwickwitch · 13/01/2015 09:40

YANBU. Sleep deprivation is a nightmare, if you can anything to resolve it it will be worth it.

MuscatBouschet · 13/01/2015 09:44

I haven't used one but probably should have because the last 4 years have been gruelling. But a know 3 families who have and the experience has been miraculous every time. Sleep is like gold dust. Do it.

NancyRaygun · 13/01/2015 09:48

neither of mine slept through til they were over 2. :( it was pretty bad, but they didn't wake and cry, or want to be up, it was habitual waking to feed or cuddle and once I broke that (not with CC - not my bag at all) then it was OK. I followed the book Teach Yourself Baby Sleep to the letter.

But a friend who had more complicated sleep 'issues' - her DD woke every night for 2 hours a nigh until she was nearly 4 - got GP advice, it was enlarged tonsils and adenoids - does your 3 year old snore?

Writerwannabe83 · 13/01/2015 09:51

Mine cost £75 for a two hour phone all. She was AMAZING and changed my life!!

The £75 was her basic package and her next package (more intense support) was £280.
What on earth is it the specialist does that justifies £400?? Shock

Original poster
Feelingverysleepy · 13/01/2015 10:01

Writerwannabe - not exactly sure what the £400 is for, but sounds like she does a phone call, then 'shadows' us for 24hrs, then helps us with recommendations etc. during the 24hrs she's here I guess she might help guide? Apparently she also babysits for a couple of hours during the 24hr so we would get an evening out (most expensive babysitting ever!!). Do you mind me asking / can you say who you used please writer? TIA

OP posts:
Writerwannabe83 · 13/01/2015 10:06

She's called Nicola Watson.
www.childsleepsolutions.co.uk.

She was wonderful.

I suffered with a poor sleeper for months and months and months - I can't even put into words how bad things were and how low and exhausted I was. Nicola came recommended to me so I emailed her, she responded the same day and the process began. After following her advice I had a completely different baby within 3 days.

Original poster
Feelingverysleepy · 13/01/2015 10:12

Fab, Thank you - will have a look. I guess I'm also worried that it might work at first, but we'll slip back into bad habits. But do find you the advice works if / when there are problems later on? (I'm all for dragging them into bed with me when I'm just too exhausted to face anymore!)

OP posts:
ANewMe2015 · 13/01/2015 10:12

Poppy - wwhat did your sleep consultant actually DO that is any different rom what was online? (Or anyone for that matter thats used one!) Can't we have a thread where the experiences are shared to save others shelling out?

Mines the same age but pretty sure its adenoids and tonsilitits. I keep wanting to go back to the doctor about my own exhaustion (I'm really really struggling) but I'm pretty sure its down to 3 years broken sleep...

I'm seriously amazed that people are fixing problems over a few days though -what on earth is the secret?! My first didnt sleep through until over a year and we coslept a lot - she sleeps through like a dream now though. We end up cosleeping half the night with the restless 3 yera old just so i can sleep but even then shes fidgetty and wakes!