Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that showing your body does not give permission for anyone to touch you?

35 replies

crumblebumblebee · 11/01/2015 10:11

www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-30766963

In summary, Jeremy Jackson from 'Celebrity' Big Brother got hammered and groped a female housemate.

The response on social media from both men and women has made me feel a bit queasy. Apparently, many people think that because Chloe Goodman is a model who "flaunts" Hmm her breasts, it means it's ok for a man to touch her without permission. Many females have agreed that this has happened to them and they didn't make a "fuss" so why is she? Lots of excuses about his drunken state too.

I know that some people think like this but I was shocked by how many.

AIBU to think that you can stroll down the street bloody naked and not expect to be groped?

OP posts:
Cupcakes123 · 11/01/2015 10:14

YANBU
Nobody should touch any part of you without permission regardless of what you do for a living.

I felt quite sorry for her, she's only a young girl. I also think he needs help and is having some kind of breakdown but despite this, what he did was not ok

ApocalypseThen · 11/01/2015 10:15

Absolutely not. You have the right to touch yourself and your belongings in any way you want. You do not have the right to touch anyone else or their belongings in any way without their express permission and bearing strictly in mind the extent to which that permission is given.

The only exception is an emergency.

ThePriceOfMagic · 11/01/2015 10:16

YANBU.

God, how depressing.

TheFairyCaravan · 11/01/2015 10:19

He wasn't that drunk imo. He was certainly able to twist and turn his story 2 or 3 times, depending on who was talking to him.

I was outraged, still am, on Chloe's behalf. You can be a porn star, nude model, or whatever, but until you say yes, it's hands off.

Me and my DSes (20&18) were absolutely gobsmacked, I would actually like to see him charged with sexual assault.

AuntieStella · 11/01/2015 10:22

Of course YANBU!

Now, someone might (just might) misinterpret something a person have said or done (and I do mean word or action specifically to that someone, not manner of attire) as encouragement or invitation to act. Not everyone gets everything right all the time.

But the instant it is clear that the touch is not welcome, then they should desist and apologise. And later reflect on how they came to misread the social cues so badly in order to avoid repeating their error.

(Disclaimer: I do not watch BB, so this might have nothing to do with what was actually broadcast of the incident. If he was just a boor who groped with no apparent encouragement, that is simply wrong).

DesperatelySeekingSedatives · 11/01/2015 10:27

YANBU

I haven't watched CBB but read about this earlier and I KNEW there would be this response and my god it depresses me.

Everyone, male and female, has a right to wear (or not wear) what they want and to not be touched in any way at all. he had no fucking right to treat this woman the way he did.

I believe he said something along the lines of "I'm drunk and she came to me nearly naked". Yeah to check on him or something because he was sick, what a monster she is huh? Hmm

donkir · 11/01/2015 10:29

I was shocked and appalled at people's views. Especially excusing him because he was drunk.
Although we couldn't see what happened we heard everything and in no way was she encouraging him to touch her. She was helping him when he was being sick.
The fact he changed his story several times over the next few hours screams guilty to me. Being drunk is not an excuse. If it had been someone outside the house who had been touched inappropriately or worse raped then I hope people wouldn't use this pathetic excuse.
He should not have been in the house in the first place he is obviously struggling with many demons and BB should be held accountable.

BallsforEarrings · 11/01/2015 10:29

YANBU - Another thing that surprised me about this incident, she went in the toilet to help him throw up now I would have thought anybody would be able to feel safe from assault in the company of someone who is so ill they are retching and sweating over a toilet bowl! You would assume you could not be made to feel vulnerable in this situation so how it is made out to be her fault in any way is beyond me!

FluffyMcnuffy · 11/01/2015 10:31

YANBU

I dislike Chloe but I am firmly on her side on this one - what he did was completely unacceptable, good on CBB for turfing him out.

I thought he moved her dressing gown though not groped her?

(Still completely unacceptable)

pictish · 11/01/2015 10:35

Yanbu...I saw it all unfold, and it was terrible. I felt for Chloe who quite obviously had not been expecting it, and was genuinely shocked and upset by his conduct.

No - he treated her like an object placed there purely for his gratification, and his lack of regard for her as a person, was abysmal.

They were right to chuck him out.

BallsforEarrings · 11/01/2015 10:35

Also the fact she is a topless model should not be connected to her feelings about being molested.

I am sure at work she is as safe from assault as anyone else is, in some cases the photographer is female anyway and male photographers will surely behave professionally I would hope! Photographing your assets with your permission is NOT the same as someone copping a feel of them!

pictish · 11/01/2015 10:35

Yes..he opened her dressing gown to expose her boobs. One fell out.

ChangingItUp · 11/01/2015 10:38

Hi victim blaming was quite something. Thoroughly depressing that there are people who think like that.
He thought she was 'flirting' whilst he vomited down the toilet Hmm

TheFairyCaravan · 11/01/2015 10:39

I just tweeted saying that it's never right to sexually assault someone and I have had a reply from the company she models for, with the link of her in her undies, telling me to check their site out. Looking through they have done it to a lot of people who are in her side.

If I was her, I would not be working with them once I saw that!

ChangingItUp · 11/01/2015 10:40

*his

BallsforEarrings · 11/01/2015 10:46

Oh sorry I thought he had touched her and was trying to minimise this, but still ...!

TheFairyCaravan - Good grief! So the actual company she works for are objectifying her as well! What a world we still live in! Sad

cailindana · 11/01/2015 11:01

How convenient that he didn't make this 'mistake' until he was in the bathroom with her, where there are no cameras, eh? It says a lot that a woman isn't safe even when surrounded by cameras and being recorded.

pictish · 11/01/2015 11:12

I imagine it's the sort of thing he does a lot. He's out of control in general, dominating conversations, speaking out of turn, acute attention seeking behaviour, self importance, lack of respect for others, exhibitionism. It was only a matter of time before he did something outlandish.
Which is why he was in there of course.

I like to think that if it were me, I'd have given him a knuckle sandwich to eat, but the fact is...when you're taken by complete surprise, as Chloe was, the reaction is primarily one of shock.

Gileswithachainsaw · 11/01/2015 11:17

Yanbu. touch should always be with consent.

doesn't matter what someone's job is.

shadowfax07 · 11/01/2015 12:11

www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-30766963

He's just been kicked out, according to the BBC.

Sallyingforth · 11/01/2015 12:23

I don't watch that rubbish, but having read this thread I went and read the article.
What really annoyed me was that he claimed he wasn't aware she had nothing under the dressing gown. It shouldn't matter whether she had or not! Pulling on her clothing is a no-no whatever she was wearing.

Having said that, the fact that the producers give the subjects sufficient alcohol to get drunk shows that they actually want to provoke uninhibited behaviour to make their programme tantalising and create publicity. It's just demeaning for all the participants and I'm glad the programme is dropping out of popularity. Hopefully this will be the last series.

sebsmummy1 · 11/01/2015 12:32

I was actually more shocked about Ken's behaviour in the house!! I can't believe they didn't chuck him out too for being a racist, mysogonistic arsehole.

I think he opened her gown, this did seem to be the story according to both of them, and she was obviously horrified. He admitted he thought she was flirting and he was obviously trying his luck and it's absolutely right that he was removed as his sanity was hanging by a thread anyway.

Personally I think a different character might have handled the scenario differently and punched him or something and been bloody furious instead of really upset and emotional. For all we know she may have been the victim of an assault in the past and isn't equipped to deal with this whole scenario (BB house and weirdo perv). Anyhow she certainly has the right to get her tits out for money in the press and not be sexually assaulted in private. A page three girl does not a promiscuous person make.

abigamarone · 11/01/2015 12:32

Can someone clarify, becase I don't watch it, did ch5 actually broadcast footage of what happened?

ThatDamnedBitch · 11/01/2015 12:33

YANBU. I knew as soon as I watched it last night Chloe would get slated on social media.

Something similar happened to me about 18 years ago when I was in work. I reacted in the exact same way Chloe did. Crying, sobbing, feeling hysterical. Which was the shock, I felt violated and dirty. The fallout was predictable and I was called all the sluts under the sun. He of course wouldn't have done anything like that because he had a wife and child. Hmm I left in the end as I couldn't bear it anymore.

I really don't think CHannel 5 vets the housemates with psychologists in the same way Channel 4 did. There's no way they'd let Jeremy in the house if he'd been seen by a psychologist. He was unstable from the minute he went in, and drinking straight away even though he's an alcoholic.

As for saying she gets her tits for a living so why should it bother her, also seen comments like she's milking it and overreacting. Christ these are the same people who say a women is asking for it when she's raped. Just because she has her tits out in one situation doesn't mean it's a green light for any Tom, Dick or pervert to grope her whenever they feel like!

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 11/01/2015 12:36

YANBU!

I wear a modesty vest (at 27!!!) as I don't feel comfortable showing my body and I STILL get groped!

Swipe left for the next trending thread