AIBU for kicking my husband out..

[natural123]

I've just come home to find my DH and his two friends huddled around the cat blowing spliff smoke in his face. I gave him his marching orders and told him not to come back. He knows not to smoke in the house, I think he was showing off. Am I being unreasonable not to let him back home?

[EBearhug]

I have worked with many families where being reliant on cannabis has caused all manner of problems. Just because you dismiss is doesn't mean it's not too. It also tends to go hand in hand with anti social behaviour.

But so does being reliant on alcohol - cannabis is on a level with that, as Ehric says, in the problems it can cause, particularly if you start using it in your teens. Having had an alcoholic mother, I think if I had to make a choice, I'd rather live with someone using cannabis than alcohol, but overusing any drug, be it legal or not, is not a good thing, particularly for those who have to live with it.

[EhricLovesTheBhrothers]

Fgs

Problematic alcohol use which is impacting on children's well being is an issue for social services. A man smoking weed in his home without the children present is not

And of course social services will intervene with problematic cannabis use that impacts on the children. But the vast majority of both alcohol and cannabis use is not problematic and doesn't impact on the children.

Also, cannabis absolutely doesn't go hand in hand with anti social behaviour. Evidence?

[sharonthewaspandthewineywall]

There's plenty of evidence, no doubt you would then argue how flawed it was or not applicable to suit your 'cannabis is fine and causes no problems at all' agenda so why waste my time

[EBearhug]

It's not that it's never a problem - just that for most users, it isn't a problem, just like most users of alcohol don't have a problem.

[Topseyt]

If you are going to say cannabis is fine anyway then go right ahead.

I say it isn't so we agree to differ.

[EBearhug]

I'm not saying it's totally fine. I'm saying it's no worse than alcohol - and I'd argue problematic alcohol use is worse than problematic cannabis use overall, but obviously particular individuals will have a more of a problem with one than the other. And for many users, cannabis or alcohol, there isn't a problem.

[Rootandbranch]

How did the cat react to having cannabis smoke blown over it?

If it wasn't yowling or actively trying to get away it might have been quite enjoying it.

Cats aren't known for their tolerance of behaviours they find unpleasant.

[Rootandbranch]

Oh and OP, you are massively over reacting.

As are many others on this thread.

[Rootandbranch]

Cannabis can cause psychosis. But it doesn't usually.

Just like cigarettes can cause cancer, and alcohol consumption can lead to addiction and death, but don't usually.

If you can tolerate your partner drinking it's quite hard to see why you'd get so upset about cannabis.

[Shockers]

Were they holding the cat, or was it just sitting there?

Will you ask your H, when you're having your conversation, what he would have done if the cat had had an adverse reaction to the smoke. Not knowing whether it was harmful to animals, he took a risk with your pet. Is he usually loving/kind with the cat?

[EhricLovesTheBhrothers]

No honestly I'd love to know how cannabis use is linked to anti social behaviour. Alcohol, definitely - but cannabis?

[EhricLovesTheBhrothers]

And I certainly don't think that cannabis causes no problems ever, that's not what I said. Resorting to straw men arguments isn't particularly helpful.

[BIWI]

So, OP. Are you new or are you a name-changer?

[RandomNPC]

This is obviously bullshit.

[BuzzardBird]

That answer is not coming is it BIWI?

[Hairtodaygonetomorrow]

onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/soin.12027/pdf

Very easy to find links between cannabis and anti-social behaviour in young people. Of course, you don't know what is cause and effect- often people heavily into cannabis use have other problems, may live in deprivation etc.

Also, about half of all cannabis users use other more harmful legal drugs, again, I am not suggesting cause and effect but a correlational link that could be interpreted many ways.

I wouldn't be trying to claim they are directly caused, but it isn't hard to find evidence of a link.

[LuisSuarezTeeth]

What about links between cannabis and antisocial behaviour in cats? Maybe that's what my cat is up to when I'm not looking.

[sharonthewaspandthewineywall]

I'm pretty sure there's evidence that links people starting threads about stoned cats to bridge dwelling

[ShumbTucker]

Fake or not the weed wouldn't bother me if it wasn't a regular thing but if someone abused my dogs they would be out so fast the wouldn't know which way was up. Adults choosing to partake in substance abuse is their lookout but no one fucks about with my dogs.

[LuisSuarezTeeth]

Sharon what are you implying?

[DawnMumsnet]

Hi all,

We've had a number of reports about this thread.

Just letting you know that the OP has now deregged, so we'll probably never know if this was for real.

OP's cat, we hope you're okay.

[ChippingInLatteLover]

Dawn

[AmarettoSour]

My DP takes recreational drugs very occasionally even gasp in the house. If he ever thought it was a good idea to blow smoke in the cat's face he'd be out so fast his head would spin. Not that he would because he isn't 12.

[northernshepherdess]

Fuming to see so many people so vehemently protecting weed as not being a problem.
I've just posted up about this very issue.
My DH has a min 10 year issue with weed.
Clearly you haven't seen someone punching walls and screaming at people because the dealer hasn't got any!
Maybe you should tell my DC that it's not a problem when her dad would rather leave her for a few days to get baked with anyone who can get some... or when one of his 18 year old friends comes round (DH is nr 40) and DH has had that much that he can't stand up, speak or function and is spewing up onto his own face but is too unconscious to move!
Maybe you can tell her the reason she has to have beans on toast for tea is because DH has snuck out of the house to go on a 5 hour binge with cash and car.
Maybe I'll be saying it to you when he drives back home barely able to stand up and smashes into one of your children?

[northernshepherdess]

DH is now finding other places to get it because I will absolutely not let him have it here... so I'm pretty much a single mum when it comes to who is responsible for the children.
Any misbehaviour from them is a reason for him to vanish. Phone off, straight to the dealer...
No harm done though... even though none of us know when he will even show up again. And if we aren't nice enough to him when he devides to call he will stay away for another day and another day etc