AIBU for kicking my husband out..

[natural123]

I've just come home to find my DH and his two friends huddled around the cat blowing spliff smoke in his face. I gave him his marching orders and told him not to come back. He knows not to smoke in the house, I think he was showing off. Am I being unreasonable not to let him back home?

[Happypogostick]

That's awful. And blowing it on a cat? Is that meant to impress? How cruel and pathetic. Your actions alone, in rising above it, show you can do better.

[TidyDancer]

This is really awful behaviour. Your poor cat. :(

[Fabulous46]

I don't tolerate the taking of drugs in any shape or form. I also don't tolerate abuse of any animal. He'd be looking for a new home and wife if i were you OP.

[VinoTime]

Drugs are a big no no for me. I don't care what they are, I cannot abide them. It amuses me when people say things like, "It's just a little bit of pot - no big deal!" Cannabis has a lot of negative short term and long term side effects and it's also known for being a gateway drug. It can do a great deal of harm.

For me, the pot smoking would be cause to have a conversation. One that started, "If I ever catch you doing it again..." However, the cruelty shown towards the poor defenseless cat would have had me apoplectic. I would have kicked his arse out too, OP.

Your DH sounds like a total prat, I'm afraid.

[SolidGoldBrass]

Well it's a bit daft and not very nice, but you can't actually, legally, evict him from the house unless it's in your sole name. Yeah yeah waa waaa you could call the police and have him arrested but do you really want that much of an upheaval in the family?

[HaroldLloyd]

Arf at the cat stoned for all eternity.

[Fabulous46]

Yeah yeah waa waaa you could call the police and have him arrested but do you really want that much of an upheaval in the family?

Yes I would, especially if drugs were involved. I have zero tolerance where drugs are concerned, or animal abuse.

[Topseyt]

No reason to give anything a rest. Drugs are a big no-no, especially where young children might be involved. Anyone who used them in my house would be made to to leave and would not be coming back.

I can certainly know of a couple of examples of police and SS involvement for much less than this so I wouldn't say nobody ever gets a visit.

[EhricLovesTheBhrothers]

Police and social services visited for "much less than" a man smoking weed in his home with no children present? Yeah right.

Drugs might be a no no to you but that doesn't mean that police or social services would treat this as worthy of intervention. Trust me.

[cunexttuesonline]

I'm surprised at the reaction here regarding some weed, I don't see that as a big deal really. Blowing it on the cat isn't great though.

[ChippingInLatteLover]

Was the cat trapped by them?

I don't think the weed is that big a deal.

I don't think the cat being in the room is that big a deal.

However, the 'huddled around the cat' changes it. Forcing it on the cat is horrible and I wouldn't want to be with a man that thought that was ok.

[Ketchuphidestheburntbits]

YANBU

Get rid of the husband and make the cat happier.

[LuisSuarezTeeth]

OP I hope you come back and tell us what happened. Look after your cat and your kids.

[EBearhug]

Were it me, I would not be so bothered about the weed, but I would be bothered about smoking in the house if that's a house rule (as it is here - there's a garden for smoking visitors, whatever they're smoking.) I would be very unhappy about them being round the cat and blowing smoke in its face (though most cats I know would have got up and moved if they weren't happy - unless they were holding the cat there.) And if it were a weekend without the children, and he opted to spend time with friends rather than me (unless that's what you discussed first), I wouldn't be so happy with that, either, but if you've only just got in, that might have been what you planned anyway.

[Allthequeenshorses]

chippinginlattelover exactly what I was going to say. Forcing it on any animal is a big deal for me. Not ok.

[wickedlazy]

I would be raging! To have my lovely cat sitting there scared, with the man she sees as daddy and two strangers blocking her in, and blowing dope in her face/mocking her.

My dp doesn't smoke it, but the thought of the above happening is horrid.

[EhricLovesTheBhrothers]

Mumsnet can be very vocal against weed. I wonder whether most people who don't see it as an issue just don't post?

I'm happy to say that I have a definite belief that marijuana is on a level with alcohol in terms of affect on family life, finances etc. I think that alcohol is far worse for physical health impacts and aggression/violence/dangerous accidents. Cannabis isn't a gateway drug, there is no evidence that suggests that it directly leads to further drug use, simply that it is more easily acquired for young people so the drug they tend to start with if they are interested in experimenting.

Cannabis can have mental health impacts on people just as alcohol can. However both substances are by no means guaranteed to cause mental health issues at all.

[wickedlazy]

Btw I used to smoke it as a teenager. I used to go out to the back garden, and smoke a joint with my dog. I would blow it in her face. But she liked it, she would come over and sit in front of me/bat me with her paw until I did. Think she liked the smell. If I ever had people with me, it was friends she knew well and was comfortable with.

What you described sounds completely different poor kitty

[wickedlazy]

*first post I meant "blowing dope smoke"

[Topseyt]

Yes Ehric, they were called in by the local primary school. Alcohol related, nothing else. Children were regularly late for school and concerns raised. All authorities became involved, threats made to remove the kids etc. The family were under supervision for about 2 years before it was all over. Happy ending, fortunately. It does happen.

[sharonthewaspandthewineywall]

I have worked with many families where being reliant on cannabis has caused all manner of problems. Just because you dismiss is doesn't mean it's not too. It also tends to go hand in hand with anti social behaviour.
Alcohol of course does too, as does cocaine heroin and all manner of other substances. But we are discussing CANNABIS here

[sharonthewaspandthewineywall]

True ffs.

I've also known of ss being involved for parents cannabis use. More often than id like to say.

[LumpenproletariatAndProud]

the cats fine he's just chilling

in the words of Bob Marley, every little thing's gonna be alright.

apparently the cat will stay stoned forever

not a bad troll. Could do better.....

[LumpenproletariatAndProud]

For ever and ever....