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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to let my toddler poo where he wants to

15 replies

mikado1 · 09/01/2015 20:23

I decided I wasn't going to toilet train, am under no pressure re nursery-they don't mind if they're in nappies-and I like the idea of him deciding for himself when he's ready. He's 2.8mths now and for the last six he has loads of nappy off time and uses the potty not a bother. Last few weeks he has been asking for pants maybe half the time and gives himself plenty of time. I don't make a huge deal either way and make nothing of changing him etc. Anywayttoday having gone all day in pants-maybe six wees-he asks for a nappy and two seconds later does a poo. Aibu to just continue to go with him and think he will know when he's ready and he's not holding it in so what harm?

OP posts:

kwerty · 09/01/2015 20:32

Up to you, but if he knows he's about to perform he might as well use the toilet or potty. Saves money.

victoryinthekitchen · 09/01/2015 20:33

we used to keep a potty nearby (even in the bottom of the pushchair) so when dc said they wanted to poo we could access it pretty fast, it just seemed to move on from doing it in a nappy to then the potty. Keeping relaxed about it seems to help, like you say he'll know when he's ready.

Bulbasaur · 09/01/2015 20:34

I think by that point, you might as well just take him to the toilet to do it there and give him a sticker or something.

Letting the kid lead is all well and good, but you need to encourage in the right direction.

Iggly · 09/01/2015 20:35

My ds did this I used chocolate buttons to encourage poos on the potty/toilet.

Trumpity · 09/01/2015 20:36

Same as our daughter. She trained a touch later. But until 4/5 months ago (she's 3.5 years old) she was doing this. We bribed her to do it on the toilet.

Original poster

mikado1 · 09/01/2015 20:40

Yes potty was right there but he said he didn't want it. . Really want to avoid it being an issue and rather ut be done as something he wants to do himself.. I do give him a big smile and say 'You did it yourself' when he goes. He did a poo in potty as recently as last week/10 days so maybe he was just a bit off on it today. .

OP posts:

familygermsareok · 09/01/2015 20:46

My DS used to ask to put a nappy on specifically to do a poo in, he didn't like potties or toilets. He did grow out of it fairly quickly, we also used chocolate buttons to bribe reward him with which worked really well ( 1 for a wee and 2 for a poo ).
I was happier waiting for him to be comfortable to use toilet, and he did in his own time. So go with what you feel is best. He was 3 and a bit by the time he was fully comfortable with toilets.

hiccupgirl · 09/01/2015 20:53

I did exactly this with my DS who refused to toilet train at 2.7 and 2.10. Both time resulted in constant tantrums and total refusal to co-operate from strong willed DS.

The day before he was 3 he announced that he would wee in the potty today and he did with no looking back. For the next 2 months he would tell me he wanted a poo and ask for pull up. I'd put one on and he'd toddle off into a private corner and do a poo happily. After 2 months he again announced that he wanted to poo on the toilet today and that was it.

If you have no reason to push him to poo in the potty I would leave it up to him to decide when he wants to try it.

BarbarianMum · 09/01/2015 21:00

My nephew did this. His parents left it for a couple of years but had to force the issue just before he started school (they forced it by going camping in the outback without any nappies).

WooWooOwl · 09/01/2015 21:02

Personally I wouldn't, I got my dc going on the toilet right from the start, I don't see the point in potties. But it's fine for your ds to do it this way if he wants to and you're happy with it. It won't make any difference a few months from now.

DoJo · 09/01/2015 21:04

Mine refuses to poo anywhere but a nappy, and I'm just letting him - I don't want to make it a big issue as I would rather he tells me and goes in a nappy than avoids telling me and goes in his pants. If he hasn't mastered it in a few months, then I might be bothered, but for now it seems silly to push it.

rookiemere · 09/01/2015 21:09

DS did this for a while - it was fine, lived with it, then in a few months he started using the toiled. Not worth being worked up about imho.

youllshootyoureyeout · 09/01/2015 21:15

I did this with my son, he got very upset when we suggested he used the toilet or potty for a poo. The more we encouraged him to use the loo instead of his nappy, the more he dug his heels in. He was pretty hit and miss with weeing as well.

In the end we gave up as it was stressing him out and as soon as the pressure was off he decided for himself that pants were better and he trained pretty much over night. However, he was a bit of a late starter and was 3 1/2, your son is much younger, so I wouldn't feel the need to rush him.

pasbeaucoupdegendarme · 09/01/2015 21:38

I think this is quite common and I think you're doing the right thing. I speak as one whose 2.6yo dd is totally dry for hours and hours in knickers but refuses even to wee in anything other than the nappy. It's massively frustrating but she's just not ready. Sounds like your ds is the same re the poo.

I'd keep suggesting the potty/loo so he doesn't think it's normal to have a nappy to poo in, but not force the issue. The last thing you want is him refusing to go at all (been there, done that and got the movicol too!).

Original poster

mikado1 · 09/01/2015 21:44

Thanks all, am reassured! Will stick with this way so!

OP posts:

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