to be annoyed with myself that I'm a victim of my own success and skills (patisserie related)

[sandralondonengland]

Im a great patisserie chef through years of practice and training. Everyone has such high expectations of me. But sometimes I just don't have the inclination to make something impressive and wish I could get away like other people and just buy something factory made. But I can't as my reputation is well known and everyone always expects a lot from me. Sigh, I just want to relax tonight but instead I'm having to make my triple pies in cakes with vanillia bean icing, as its been requested for a charity bake :(

Awesome post. I love it!

DH asked for a Princessa Torte for his birthday (bloody Mary Berry's fault). It went so spectacularly wrong we called it trifle cake as you had to eat it with a spoon. It tasted like heaven but looked like road kill. He'll never ask for that again. Sabotage is the way forward.

Just say 'sorry I can't make anything this time I'm too busy can't be arsed'. Or make some really shit cakes and never get asked again (think mumsnet lemon drizzle legend). Problem solved!

I garden for a living and people ask me all the time to do work for free.

I say 'Sorry would love to but...'

This saves mumsnetters from inane threads about how wonderful I am. No, really, that's fine.

That just looks like 3 asda fruit pies glued together with icing sugar.

A great patisserie chef should be able to do that in 5 minutes, blindfolded and wearing boxing gloves

I feel for you.

I have a similar problem. being the mother of 7 perfect children not a day goes by I'm not flooded with desperate calls from friends and family for advice.

but what can we do? we must keep on giving. such is the burden of being brilliant

DH asked for a Princessa Torte for his birthday (bloody Mary Berry's fault). It went so spectacularly wrong we called it trifle cake as you had to eat it with a spoon.

It may please you to know that it's supposed to be eaten with a spoon.

OP are you feeling OK?

Oh god, the amount of patisserie angst I go through on a daily basis. I could just about scream at an eclair and bury my beautiful, beautiful face in a vanilla pod.

That just looks like 3 asda fruit pies glued together with icing sugar.
A great patisserie chef should be able to do that in 5 minutes, blindfolded and wearing boxing gloves
^^

This. I could do that and my forte is flapjacks.

Oh well at least if you're kept busy at home, you won't be out spending money on bus fare

I love the way you've put "patisserie related" in the title. Were you worried the thread might trigger pastry triumph related trauma?

I'm having choux flashbacks

BitOut

(((((CaptainAnkles))))))

I'm sorry you have iss-chouxs

Did Boris take away your Brie Dome Pasties?

Do you mean you are a Pastry Chef with a tendency to break into French language now and again?

Or do you mean you cook in the style of a French or Belgian bakery that specializing in French and/or Belgian pastries and confections?

Your answer is really important to me, because I don't think the latter can be very likely. I have never been in a French or Belgian Patisserie that would serve that disgusting looking hybrid (kindly tracked down by and illustrated by loveareadingthanks in her post).

[Disclaimer: although I am sure your triple pie/cake hybrids are lovely, OP]

Looks vile!

That has GOT to be an American thing, with food inside food and vanillia bean icing.

Tell them you can't make it as you are too skint paying for transit while keeping up with your fantastic busy life. And, a "great patisserie chef" would not be caught dead making slop like that.

Oh, and DFOD...

So it's bog standard pies inside a bog standard sponge cake?

isn't that a waste of your skills, OP?

Surely easy for you to knock up?

Are you Paul Hollywood?

I just poisoned the kids with an over cooked slow cooked Thai curry. I am sure they would be happy with the yuk 3 layers of cake and at this rate they would likely eat the vanilla cream.

What's a vanillia bean? I know what a vanilla pod is, but I'm not a wonderfully skilled patisserie pastry chef.

Poor OP. You really have been through the mille feuille.

Is the bean what comes out of the pod (though I thought they were tiny weeny black dots - not at all bean sized).
I'm no cook though I am very good at heating stuff!
OP... I think you need to learn how to say NO, or at least charge people for your efforts.

iklboo Round of applause. I love it.