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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

aibu to call in sick when baby ia poorly?

36 replies

steppyhen · 08/01/2015 09:08

DS has been up all night barking cough , high temp, has a cold and just wants his mum, hes 9 months old.
was due to be working a 4 hour shift today and called to say i wouldnt be in as ds was poorly and i had made him a doc app foe when i was due to be working.
My manager sounded really pissed off at me. Will i get the sack? Should i have went in?

OP posts:
FarOverTheRainbow · 08/01/2015 09:09

I don't think YABU your DS is a baby and will get comfort from you , I no I wouldn't leave my DD if she was poorly at that age

KnackeredMerrily · 08/01/2015 09:09

Barking cough? Does he have whooping cough? You need to see aGP

SpottyTeacakes · 08/01/2015 09:13

If my dc are ill I tell work I'm sick myself Blush that way I still get paid. I've only had to do it once and I've only had one day off sick myself.

You won't get the sack, these things happen. Dh takes the day off when I'm sick so he can look after the dc and just takes it as holiday.

NoLongerJustAShopGirl · 08/01/2015 09:14

You need to show an employer that you are serious about wanting to be employed, you need to take care of your kids when you are ill - the dilemma of working parents everywhere...

If you have a partner you need to share the time off for child's illness, lessens the burden on your employer.

Most employers will allow one day to sort out alternative childcare. If they are still ill tomorrow, what will you do?

NoLongerJustAShopGirl · 08/01/2015 09:15

when they are ill.... not you are ill... (though it still applies!)

livegoldrings · 08/01/2015 09:16

Some managers will always be cross if someone calls in sick even for a valid reason, but parents are allowed to take sick leave when their children are really ill. If you take too much sick leave for whatever reason the company may still discipline you but it has to be done according to their procedures.

Floralnomad · 08/01/2015 09:16

Who would normally be looking after him whilst you are working as that is obviously relevant to whether you are being reasonable or not . Hope he feels better soon.

SpottyTeacakes · 08/01/2015 09:21

Oh yes dh and I always share childcare when a dc is ill he completely understands that as does his boss. (Btw my manager says to say I'm ill).

youareallbonkers · 08/01/2015 09:23

Surely parents of children under 5 are allowed so many (13?) weeks unpaid in the 1st 5 years

Goingintohibernation · 08/01/2015 09:24

I think it depends, if you would have had to send him in to paid childcare while you worked, then of course YANBU. If it would have been the babies Dad looking after him while you worked, then YABU to not go in.

CLJ52 · 08/01/2015 09:24

That's not really true, fivegoldrings. Parents are allowed emergency leave to arrange childcare, not leave to look after their children themselves.

Taking time off to attend an emergency doctor appt for a dependant probably does fall with in these emergency rules, so should be okay. However, it's not generally okay to claim you're sick if you're not.

(that's the official view. Any parent is going to do what they think it's right - but important they are aware of potential consequences)

stickingpoint2 · 08/01/2015 09:25

My manager told me to say I was ill, then HR dragged me in for a review of my sickness and I was given a written warning because I was (then) honest with HR.
HR said if I wasn't ill I had to be there as contract of employment. Work and children do not mix.

HeffalumpsnWoozles · 08/01/2015 09:25

You are entitled to take the day off if your child is ill, in our company however this time is always unpaid unless its a medical emergency of course.

LittleBearPad · 08/01/2015 09:27

Yes Bonkers parental leave exists but it has to be planned in advance not for ad hoc childcare issues/illness

CLJ52 · 08/01/2015 09:28

Youareallbonkers - think you are referring to parental leave which allows up to 18 weeks for parents of under 5s. This has to be booked in advance, in blocks of complete weeks, and isn't for emergency childcare.

ilovesooty · 08/01/2015 09:30

What you have done OP in an emergency is perfectly reasonable, though I assume you'll be expected to arrange ongoing care if necessary.

What Spotty and her manager are colluding in is fraud.

SpottyTeacakes · 08/01/2015 09:30

I suppose it depends where you work. HR is non existent where I work.

PercyGherkin · 08/01/2015 09:31

Youareallbonkers, it's 18 weeks unpaid parental leave in total and can be taken up to the age of 18 from April this year. However that doesn't help much in cases like this as it has to be agreed in advance and taken in blocks of a week (and no more than four weeks in a year). There's also the separate right you may be thinking of to take reasonable unpaid emergency leave to care for dependents. This kicks in in these circumstances so it would be reasonable to say you've got to take emergency leave for the day however, the employer doesn't have to pay anything.

It's unavoidable sometimes to take time off when children especially if they actually need to be taken to the doctor or childcare won't take them. Still it's important that both parents share the burden or find a way round it family help, one-off expensive emergency nannies if needs be.

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 08/01/2015 09:36

What happens if childcare wont take them (say Chicken Pox)? Yes, I can share cover with dh but that means doing my half. So I would still need to be off some days. How can an employer expect us to find someone random prepared to mind a CP child who probably just wants their parents.

stickingpoint2 · 08/01/2015 09:40

Yes, places with HR have been the least family friendly. But then at that employer the pregnant HR lady who dealt with me referred to her maternity leave as her 'baby holiday'. I am sure she's back there 8-6 with never an ill day now her baby must be about 1 Wink.

CLJ52 · 08/01/2015 09:41

An employer wouldn't expect you to find someone random, but it would be reasonable to expect that you had some kind of fall back if needed.

Theas18 · 08/01/2015 09:41

Hasn't there been a really similar thread recently?

as an employer I'd say YUBVU to call in sick because your child is sick. only call in sick is YOU are ILL.

However that's not to say I expect you in work with an ill child. Parental leave to cover till alternative care can be found or unpaid/annual leave to cover is something you can negotiate with the manager.

I'd much rather you were honest. You otherwise risk entering disciplinary stuff when you are genuinely unwell because you will have a track record of sickness already on your file.

ilovesooty · 08/01/2015 09:43

Chicken pox doesn't last for ever and it's not a regular occurrence. My company would expect you to want to be with your child but of course it would be unpaid.

Original poster
steppyhen · 08/01/2015 09:44

i only do two 4 hour shifts a week so luckily im off tommorow back in on Saturday but my husband is off on the weekend so that will be fine to leave him with his dad, normally a relative would have him on a weekday but just feel like he needs his mum.
I dont have a contract as i only started in dec so was slightly worried.
going to the doctors this afternoon.
Thanks for the replies Smile

OP posts:
addictedtosugar · 08/01/2015 09:47

I have to put in holiday if the kids are ill - and yes, sometimes its inconveienent, at which point I try to do some work from home (I'm lucky this is an option)
Telling work I'm sick when I'm not wouldn't go down well.