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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Babysitting

31 replies

myfallingstar · 06/01/2015 20:23

AIBU to not want a 13 year old babysitting my 18 month old over night I asked a childminder lady who I have meet via baby group if she babysits on the side as me and dh want to go pictures and a meal sometime before 2016 lol
Any who she said she didn't but knew a 13 year old who baby sits Confused I don't want to be judgey but I think that's extremely young I actually have a 15 year old my self he can do a quick stint if I am going to the local corner shop for 10 minutes or so however I would not be confident leaving him over night with her

1- worried he would fall a sleep and wouldn't wake up
2- if she woke don't think he would be able to settle her
ECt any way I said to her thanks but ideally I would like a adult but thanks she knows I have a 15 years old she looked a bit miffed

AIBU to not want a teen even if my baby was older I still think 13 is way to young may be 15/16

OP posts:
mytartanscarf · 06/01/2015 20:25

Well you don't have to use her then! I don't think I would either but they all did in The BabySitters Club!

nutsinwinter · 06/01/2015 20:26

I'd be hesitant to leave a 13yo overnight anyway, let alone in charge of a toddler.

Is that what you meant? I'm a bit confused as to whether you mean 'all night' or just 'in the evening'.

LadyLuck10 · 06/01/2015 20:27

So obviously don't use her then Confused

bagelfiend · 06/01/2015 20:28

Oh my gosh YANBU! I am a nanny and have always had an interest in children but I only started babysitting (for children over 5) when I was about 14. I was very mature for my age but would never have done anything overnight!

Original poster
myfallingstar · 06/01/2015 20:29

Well it would be most of the night till about I know I don't have to use her however the lady I has became friendly with was a bit miffed and is being a bit funny with me now

OP posts:
LadyLuck10 · 06/01/2015 20:30

Let her be funny as she wants, if you're not comfortable then it's all that matters. I wouldn't.

Original poster
myfallingstar · 06/01/2015 20:31

As I have just moved into the area I don't know the lady that well so I couldn't even judge her judgement

OP posts:
DandyHighwayman · 06/01/2015 20:34

I am a bit confused as to whether you mean overnight or a late-ish finish say past midnight

Quite likely the lady has misunderstood you

ChippingInLovesChristmasLights · 06/01/2015 20:35

I babysat when I was 13, but for babies & children I knew and close to home so my parents could have always come over if there'd been a problem. At 14 I babysat a baby who was only 3 days old, for half a day. Frankly, that was utter fucking madness on the parents part. I would have been fine with your toddler, but not many 13 year olds would be these days that I certainly wouldn't take the the risk with an unknown one!

Try not to let her stupid attitude get to you.

Notso · 06/01/2015 20:36

DD is 14 and has babysat a few times for us (her brothers are 10, 4 and 2)
she has also looked after friends DC but only over 5's who are good sleepers and with me on the end of the phone if things went wrong.

Honestly I find it more odd that you have a 15 year old can't trust with a presumably sleeping sibling for more than 10 mins.

Original poster
myfallingstar · 06/01/2015 20:37

Well it may be about 1 am but was looking for somone who could do overnights as well was looking for someone who could be our occasional baby sitter and the other thing was a bit confused as to why she recommend a 13 year old when I have a 15 year old she's making a birthday cake for him next week and when I asked I didn't say anything about not wanting my son to do it it was just a bit strange

I thought I may of been a bit off with what's the dine thing now in terms of babysitters ages

OP posts:
Bogeyface · 06/01/2015 20:38

Over night or late night? I dont see how the cinema and dinner means an over night!

Why not let your 15 year old baby sit for a couple of hours while you and DH go to your local pub for a drink? See how it goes. Then after a couple of months of doing that regularly you could consider a longer evening out. DD has been babysitting since 15 and is perfectly competent, she wants us to go out now because it means she gets the big TV to herself AND gets paid for it!

Notso · 06/01/2015 20:40

Shhh Bogeyface we never pay DD!

CrapBag · 06/01/2015 20:41

Pictures and a meal doesn't take all night. I would have thought your own 15 year old could manage.

No I wouldn't use a 13 year old.

At 13 I was looking after an 8, 3 and 4 year old until he very early hours of the morning. I was asleep and never had an idea what time my step mum was getting home. This was very irresponsible I think so YANBU in that regard. Ignore the woman, she is being ridiculous, however with mobiles and you putting your 18 month old one bed first, I don't see why your 15 year old can't stay up with some films, listening out, unless 18 month old is not a good sleeper or your 15 year old is very irresponsible. I was also looking after my baby sister when I was 15 too and she was a proper baby but I was always responsible for my age.

Original poster
myfallingstar · 06/01/2015 20:43

She's a not a fab sleeper and gets a lot of anxiety I think I would prefer a adult really

OP posts:
CrapBag · 06/01/2015 21:06

In that situation I wouldn't want to leave her either.

It's completely your call so ignore the woman and know that you are doing what you think is best for your child. Smile

Rollonpayday · 06/01/2015 21:09

13 definitely too young. Has your son got any mates with older siblings who could poss baby sit for a while? Doesn't have to be a late one if it's just food and cinema.

Fanfeckintastic · 06/01/2015 21:20

I'm shocked you'd get an adult in for going to the pictures and some food when you're son (her brother) is 15 year old Confused

BoomBoomsCousin · 06/01/2015 21:30

YANBU to not want a 13 year old. Maybe it was just the only other person the childminder knew who did evening sitting? Odd of her to be offended that you didn't want her though.

But I'm with other posters on thinking your 15 year old is the way to go for a 1 am return. Unless he's particularly irresponsible, I think if she has anxiety it's a bit odd to want an adult she doesn't know well in preference to her 15 year old brother. Nevertheless, you know your children best and if he isn't responsible enough you have a different set of issues. Because you need a babysitter who can handle a toddler and an irresponsible 15 year old. Which is a tall order.

Bogeyface · 06/01/2015 21:34

Tbh I think you would be lining her up for more anxiety with an adult she didnt know than with a brother she does know.

If went out very close to home (so within a 10 minute walk or 2 minute drive) a few times while you all got used to it, I think it would work out better (and cheaper) for your son to do it.

Bogeyface · 06/01/2015 21:36

Because you need a babysitter who can handle a toddler and an irresponsible 15 year old. Which is a tall order.

X post. And this is very true. If your 15 year old cant be left with his sister for a couple of hours without him behaving badly then I cant see he is going to react well, or very cooperatively, with a babysitter. You may get one once, but not again!

If you are insistent on using an adult then your best bet is the Sitters agency. All of their sitters have childcare experience, appropriate checks etc.

notnaice · 06/01/2015 21:41

My dd babysat at 13 but only for neighbours within a two minute walk so that I could pop over if there was a problem. I wouldn't have let her any further than that.

NeedABumChange · 06/01/2015 21:42

It's a bit odd you don't trust your son to Confused

Surely DD would be happier with a familiar face esp. if she is a bad sleeper?

MillionToOneChances · 06/01/2015 21:53

My DD - nearly 13 - would be perfectly fine with the toddler, as she has baby half-siblings and a lot of younger cousins and has the magic touch. I'm not intending to let her start babysitting until she's 14, though, unless a friend begs me/her.

The issue, as others have said, is that you can't leave anyone other than an adult in charge of your 15 year old if he's not responsible enough to be left in charge himself.

Try looking for a local parents Facebook group? Whenever anyone posts on ours for a babysitter there are always adults offering. Also try your local children's centre.

Original poster
myfallingstar · 06/01/2015 22:07

Look I don't really care what your views are on my 15 year old I have my reasons for not wanting him to babysit and they are not to do with him they are to do with her needs that a child would not be able to meet and he's not badly behaved were did anyone get that from in our old town we had a lovely lady on our road who used to come and watch her but we have moved so that is not a option

I didn't really want views on my 15 year old I wanted to know weather I was being off refusing the lady's offer of a 13 year old and then her being a bit funny with me because I said thanks for the offer but I would rather a adult

OP posts:
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