Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want Uni student children to go back to Uni sooner...

35 replies

Beeblebum · 06/01/2015 16:13

At home cluttering up the sofa, eating all the food, using all the dishes...

One going back this weekend but the other one not till the weekend after. I just want my house back - it seems like they've been here for ever. It's not fun after the first weekend - they are houseguests who have outstayed their welcome.

OP posts:
YulePutTatOnMyChristmasTree · 06/01/2015 16:15

Mine went back on Sunday and I miss him
I'd rather have him home eating all my food, he is not messy so that helps
although he does stay up till stupid o'clock and then sleep till lunchtime so I didnt see him that much!

ChocLover2015 · 06/01/2015 16:16

YABU!
Love having DS living here, even though he does come home most weekends!

FinallyHere · 06/01/2015 16:26

Have you tried giving them some jobs to do round the house?

Its only now, looking back, that i realise why when i first came home for the hols, it was all about preparing the fatted calf and as the weeks went by, i was asked to do more and more things.

They lived abroad and my visits became shorted and shorted as my interests and circle of friends at uni grew. A win/win really.

Original poster
Beeblebum · 06/01/2015 16:47

Hi finally, you'd think wouldn't you. But they don't actually make that much mess (though they do eat a lot of food), they are just there. In a space I've grown to think of as my own when they are away. Mooching about and wanting to use the front room and the sofa - which are mine now, all mine.

OP posts:
TheIronGnome · 06/01/2015 16:52

Wow! I hope you mean this more lightheartedly than it appears...!

IAmAllImportant · 06/01/2015 16:55

You should have made them do a nursing degree, we have been back since yesterday!

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 06/01/2015 17:00

Are you being serious?, I can't tell Confused.

Ds1 leaves at the weekend, after him being here for 3 weeks I'm going to dread him going back.

Yes he eats the food, comes in at God knows what hour of the morning , lounges on the sofa, has mates kipping over but he's been working too and I will miss him madly. Sad

Bowlersarm · 06/01/2015 17:01

Mine went back on Sunday, and I do miss him when he's away. He's quite a distance away so doesn't come back too frequently either, although he does come home when he can.

On balance it's probably better he lives away because he's quite a demanding pfb, but I'd love to see him a bit more often.

bilbodog · 06/01/2015 17:01

just wait until they finish Uni - my two have been back for 2 1/2 years and 6 months each! No sign of them leaving until they can get a decent job - and we have ALREADY downsized for financial reasons - all squashed into this little house!!! Help...................

Thisissomething · 06/01/2015 17:02

I' m with you op! Love having them here but it's a long time.

loiner45 · 06/01/2015 17:04

LOL - it's the random items of clothing that annoy me. not ever having taken my bra off while watching TV I find it difficult to understand how one has managed to find itself draped on the back of the sofa Confused. On the plus side I've bonded with the nice man in the post office as I go in to find the cheapest way to send forgotten "IT'S ESSENTIAL MUM" items back to them in halls.Smile

Topseyt · 06/01/2015 17:05

My daughter went back last weekend. Really missing her. She is no longer my stroppy teenager, she is my friend too.

As far as I am concerned she will always have a space here if she needs/wants it, though I do know what you mean when you say that you do actually get used to the space and the change of routine. Quite happy when it changes back for the uni holidays though. Grin Wink

YoullLikeItNotaLot · 06/01/2015 17:11

My mum and dad were teenagers when they became parents. When I went to uni, it was like they were (re)living their youth - I cramped their style when I went home for holidays.

I didn't go home the summer between my second and final year and when I did go home after finishing my degree, it was really odd. I moved out after about 3 months to a flat I couldn't really afford, but I found it really hard to live under the same roof as my mum and I think she found it hard too. We clashed a lot.

OP I can tell your post is humorous, but I do think there can be tension when boundaries shift Smile

Original poster
Beeblebum · 06/01/2015 17:15

Yes, I'm not being entirely serious. But I have got used to having my own space, doing my own thing and coming home to find the nice things I left in the fridge, and the nice wine in the wine rack, still there. And its hard to adjust when they are back - it's lovely for a visit - but I start to crave my own space again as I've grown to like it. No banging doors or squeaking floorboards as I'm just getting to sleep (not out of badness - just because it's an old house and quite creaky.)

Haven't had an unidentified bra landing on my sofa yet though...

OP posts:
firesidechat · 06/01/2015 17:18

You should worry op. My 25 year old finished her degree last year and is now cluttering up my home indefinitely. Well until she and her boyfriend have saved enough to move out - hopefully in a few months. She is lovely, but I loved it when it was just me and husband again after nearly 30 years.

We are taking minimal keep from her just so the saving goes quicker. Grin

Theas18 · 06/01/2015 17:20

Fence sitting!

Love having them home ( esp DS I miss him most maybe because DD1 has been away for 3+yrs now) but I wish they'd get up and do stuff. When I have to go to work I resent it a bit. They will do jobs if asked but have no " I'll just put a load on as the wash basket is a bit full" ness to them!

firesidechat · 06/01/2015 17:21

Why all the affronted replies to the op? I love my children to pieces, but it is definitely more work when they are around. I always thought your children leaving home and being independent was a good thing.

firesidechat · 06/01/2015 17:25

She is also developing expensive taste in wine and her dad is threatening to lock up the wine supply and buy cheap plonk instead. He won't, by the way.

funkyfoam · 06/01/2015 17:31

Christmas holiday is short compared to the summer one !

SelfconfessedSpoonyFucker · 06/01/2015 17:36

Mine went back last night. He is 2000 miles away for the next three months. I'm feeling blue this morning.

firesidechat · 06/01/2015 17:40

Flowers Here Selfconfessed

I think even my cold heart would be sad about that.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 06/01/2015 17:44

I'll be worse come the summer as ds2 will be preparing to leave for Uni in September, just me dh and ds3.

Now that will be hard; from 3 to 1 < gulp> Sad

outtolunchagain · 06/01/2015 17:46

I agree, love having him home, worry about him when he's away but need a break now.The house is quite small and It's like having a baby again in that every time he comes out of his bedroom( he seems unable to open and close door quietly) I wake up.I am desperate for an unbroken nights sleep.

Does nothing around the house despite being asked and thinks nothing of saying no if asked .sits around playing guitar , playing FIFA and asking what's for dinner within 5 mins of me getting in from work Angry and also I have to say picks fights with his two younger brothers .

CLJ52 · 06/01/2015 17:50

I miss mine so much when they're away - but yes, when they're back for any extended length of time it is a bit wearing.

I was going to be a different kind of mum and create a home in which they would always be welcome. I'm not so sure now..... Hmm

musicposy · 06/01/2015 17:51

firesidechat yes to the wine! DD1, nearly 19 is on a (possibly indefinite) gap year, working. I've had to stipulate that she does not raid the wine/ baileys etc especially when she has friends round. Otherwise it mysteriously disappears (and it better not be my 15 year old!)

When they were little I used to think I would be sat around crying with lonesomeness once they left home but suddenly DH and I are looking forward to a bit of space. They do outgrow being at home and I think that's how it's designed to be.