Wedding - Is this normal now?!

[westcoastnortherner]

We received an invite to a relative's wedding which came with a handy two pages of info, Poem asking for money etc (can't write on here as will be outed!)

BUT it had a couple of things written on the info sheet which perplexed me at bit.

One was that misbehaving children would be asked to leave the reception by hotel management and secondly there is to be strictly NO pictures to social media on the day. They aren't famous, who cares whether the odd picture is posted?

AIBU or is it normal to ask people not to post pictures?

Money poems tend to be dire poetry and the reference to a gift seems to be becoming frowned upon (when I was growing up a line about where the gift registry was held was expected and people complained if it wasn't in the invite), but I do think it's time we got over the dislike of giving money. Times have changed. The overwhelming majority of people getting married already have a fully stocked household. Weddings tend to be big afairs with lots of guests and lots of small momentoes are not generally useful or fully appreciated and will clutter up homes (which are, on average, a lot smaller than they used to be). A smaller monetary gift as a token to celebrate their commiment seems far more appropriate nowadays from the majority of guests. I hope these poems are just a catalyst. If our culture changed so that money was the generally expected thing to give instead of a kettle, we might start to see a little less of these awful ryhmes.

The SM ban is a bit of a shame and slightly controlling if there aren't security issues, but pretty small really and much better than telling everyone to turn up in black and purple or something. The line about the children sounds like the venue has highlighted it with them and they've felt obliged to pass it on - perhaps some of their relatives have form for letting children run wild. I would probably feel a bit eye-rolly at an info sheet, but as another poster pointed out, managing a lot of people, from different generations and from families with slightly different traditions and standards, can be a bit of a nightmare so it's probably a good idea really. Much better to be upfront about things than to pick up the pieces after misunderstandings and assumptions have spoilt things.

As a guest, if it's 'easier' for me to give money, I will. Nobody hates money. I don't need a poem asking for it.

If it's not easier, or I don't want to for any reason, I won't.

Sorry if the happy couple get a few gifts they don't love. That's life; the same thing happens at birthdays. That doesn't make it okay to invite people to a celebration and, without even being asked, say 'just give me money'.

A polite note asking those who wish to give a gift to give cash or vouchers is fine, IMO.

A shitty, trying too hard to be clever poem that's been copied and pasted from a website, "we ain't being funny, but give us your money" is tacky.

I would suspect with the children that they have a family they can't avoid inviting whom they suspect may be a problem.
The weddings I've generally been to all the children were fine, but there was one where one family's children (who were old enough to know better too) were running round between the tables and shouting during the speeches. That meant that also the rest of us with children were having to explain in whispers why these children were running around but, no ours couldn't join them even if the speeches were boring. Actually I couldn't tell you if the speeches were boring because I couldn't hear them.

I would have had a lot of sympathy with the bride and groom if they had forseen this and made provisions to stop it.

DeWee, if there are specific children who are a problem surely a quiet word would be better than sending out a threat to all your guests?

I think the bit about social media is fair enough but I wouldn't have put it on the invite, sounds like they are sending out rules or something! I would have put a friendly notice somewhere on the day...
The bit about misbehaving children is just stupid and rude. If I received that id think 'why have they said that, is that aimed at my children' - totally unnecessary for the invitation!

To be honest, I think it says more about the bad mannered guests that we've all had to tolerate at weddings that B&Gs now feel the need to actually state that badly behaved children will be asked to leave and that no photographs should be posted on social media on the day. People shouldn't need to have this explained to them, but unfortunately some do.

The poem asking for money is equally bad mannered though.

The bit about misbehaving children is just stupid and rude.

Sadly it's becoming a necessity. Allowing your DCs to behave badly is stupid and rude.

Recent weddings I've been to we've been asked to use hashtags on any photos we uploaded, so everyone could see them all by following the hashtag. I liked that idea.

I do see where they're coming from with the kids though.

And I HATEEE the money poem. ANY gift is a bonus. So no, I won't be stipulating what my guests can and can't gift to me. It's so rude.

My friend is organising her wedding, one of her friends (who I have to admit I can't bloody stand) was asking what sort of entertainment my friend would be putting on for the kids and demanding to know what childminder she'd be employing for the day so she can check if they're registered properly. Friend was actually hoping people could look after and entertain their own children or better yet, not bring them.

'one of her friends (who I have to admit I can't bloody stand) was asking what sort of entertainment my friend would be putting on for the kids and demanding to know what childminder she'd be employing for the day so she can check if they're registered properly. '

Dear me, that's one of the most entitled things I've ever read! Heaven forbid people should have to look after their own kids

'Entertainment'..... sheesh......

We asked for vouchers if people wanted to give us anything (tiny house, already living together, already have two sets of everything anyhow from our lives pre co-habbiting). Mumsnet jury - were we wrong?!

I've never received a money poem despite having been to loads of weddings. Some people seem to think they are ready common and almost normal now though?

Do you think the badly behaved kids line was a failed attempt at being funny?

If I received that id think 'why have they said that, is that aimed at my children' - totally unnecessary for the invitation!

Sadly, if they have put it on then chances are it is totally necessary as they know at least one family who's kids will be little so and so's. And the fact that you would be thinking "is that my kids?!" means that chances are, it isnt. Anyone who would be bothered about it isnt very likely to allow their kids to run riot. The ones who couldnt give 2 shits wouldnt think that it would apply to them.....until they get the bums rush out of the reception!

"Anyone sensible sees
That usurping your pics is a wheeze
For the rude and the thick.
But your poem just stick
Up your arse, if you wouldn't mind, please".

Covers all the points I think.

It's called an uplugged wedding. Weirdly this was on my fb feed this morning, a friend had liked it. The bride gives her reasons, as do others in the comments.

www.facebook.com/ukbride.co.uk/posts/10153456261832995

Just decline! Bridezilla, grabby nonsense, what's to celebrate? Other than your nearest and dearest, most people don't give a fuck you're getting married.

Two pages of their own self-importance, why bother?