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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to just leave dd to scream it out

92 replies

wheresthelight · 04/01/2015 21:03

so dd (16 months) is going through a horrific time with sleep or rather lack of it at the moment.

she went down at 6 with no issues as normal but yet again woke at 8 screaming and is still up. tried putting her back down but she just screams but I can't get anything done at all.

we have tried cc in the past but she doesn't give in. I live in a semi and her bedroom adjoins next door. would I be really out of order to just leave her to cry it out and then take a bottle of wine round to next door in the morning to apologise?

OP posts:

KenAdams · 05/01/2015 00:35

A few things:

As you get older, you need less sleep. So yes, the 6pm bedtime may now be too early.
What her sleep pattern was, isn't what it will always be. So many parents say "but X used to sleep through the night". The thing is, it won't always be like that.
Babies are more aware of what's going on as they get older. One thing they notice more is wetness. For some its a lot earlier than others. Do you change her nappy when she wakes up? Even if she's just done a tiny wee? It might be irritating her because she knows it's there.

I sound like I might know about this stuff, but DD 2.5 still sleeps in our bed half the night, so I've by no means cracked it! Good luck OP.

Arseface · 05/01/2015 00:42

Sorry!
You're best placed to know what works for you all.
Good luck for tonight.

PurplePidjingThroughTheSnow · 05/01/2015 09:30

how are you this morning op??

eurochick · 05/01/2015 09:39

So she has moved her first nap later. It sounds like she has moved her second nap later too and this is now colliding with her bedtime. Her 6pm sleep is a nap and her bedtime needs to be later now.

HamishBamish · 05/01/2015 09:51

It's a while ago now (my youngest is 4), but I remember 16 months being quite a tough period sleep wise for us. It was partly due to the need for naps during the day changing. If they had a nap too late in the day or for too long, it really affected their sleeping pattern at night. The problem was that it changed day by day.

I would try changing the nap schedule so she's not crashing to early and pushing out the bedtime to a bit later (7 was our usual time).

Good luck OP. It's very tough.

minipie · 05/01/2015 10:06

Ok so she's dropping her morning nap. 16 months is a pretty normal time to drop from two naps to one so I wouldn't try to push her into having 2 naps, better to accept that it's now one nap and try to make that work.

Can you try to keep her awake a little bit longer in the morning, so her nap starts at say 12-12.15 (after an early lunch). That way she may be able to keep going till a later bedtime. She may be grumpy/falling asleep during lunch for a week or two but hopefully you'd get back to her old bedtime that way and without the evening screaming sessions.

fishfingerSarnies · 05/01/2015 10:20

We did cc at 6 months and worked a treat but I know every kid is different so if that hasn't worked I'd be tempted to let her cio but would go in regularly and firmly lie her down say it's bed time and go out again. Just so she doesn't feel completely abandoned. Sometimes if dd got too wound up at bed time (usually after an illness or teething period had wrecked our rutine) I would re do her bed time routine so light on, wash face, nappy change, lights dim, story again and back into bed night night etc it would reset her but still kept the idea of sleep after a story etc.
Good luck with it all and rememeber it will pass. It's so frustrating. Just about to have another one and dreading the sleepless nights and changing routines. Xxx

whatsinanamearose · 05/01/2015 10:21

I went through this with both dc around this age. With DS it turned out he was hungry. He didn't ever want to eat when he woke, but as soon as I upped his portion size for dinner and gave him extra milk in his cup before story time (which we have ALWAYS done in bed) He went back to sleeping through. A couple of months later when he had to see hv for 18-24 month check, she asked about sleep patterns and I explained what I had been through. Not only is this ave a time for sleep regression but also a time when digestion changes too. She said that he probably was waking due to his dinner being digested faster and leaving him feeling more empty at an earlier time before he had reached his deep sleep period. Fantastic advice AFTER the fact
With DD when she got to this stage, I thought here we bloody go again I know what to do. Tried upping meals first and it was NOTHING to do with food as the fuller stomach meant she couldn't settle as well. So I second that every child is different. What eventually worked for her (and she had a bedtime of 6ish after bath and milk and story time in bed firm believer in routine and starting to get them to go to sleep in bed rather than on me ) was a later bedtime. Even though she had previously slept all night from 6-6 since she was 4 months old, at 18 months it needed changing all of a sudden. So while she was getting sleepy around half 5-6 I just made her bath time an hour later and obviously everything followed from there.
I do hope your DD gets through this soon.
Tonight, if it happens, here is a proviso christmas schloer
Good luck

Original poster

wheresthelight · 05/01/2015 19:17

sorry for the delay I have been out all day so no access to mn ^sobs^

She finally calmed down about 1030 and settled herself when I put her back in her bed. she then slept until 930 so she has been much better today although her nap did move back to 2.

she has gone down about 645 with no issues and hopefully she will sleep through. but appreciate the just in case!!

OP posts:

DixieNormas · 05/01/2015 20:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

wheresthelight · 05/01/2015 21:08

Ohh no Dixie!

so far she has slept which is a miracle cos I have been clattering about in the bedroom swapping the curtain rail from the crappy wooden pole that was here when we moved in to a cheap plastic one so I can put my proper curtains up - we've only lived here a year!

OP posts:

poocatcherchampion · 05/01/2015 21:20

Oh I've come here for solidarity and you are sorted. Dd2 still up here....

Original poster

wheresthelight · 05/01/2015 21:43

Ohhh no poocatcher

it's more luck than judgement I assure you! If her pattern continues she will be back to screaming half the night tomorrow or will wake up at 3am thinking it's party time!

OP posts:

whatsinanamearose · 05/01/2015 22:27

Glad things are working out for you so far tonight. Good luck

Original poster

wheresthelight · 05/01/2015 22:54

thanks whatsin!

I have suffered with depression for years and the hv keeps a very close eye on me in vase of pnd (which so far I have avoided) but after the last few weeks I cam genuinely understand why pnd and sleep deprivation can have such devastating effects on women!

OP posts:

Original poster

wheresthelight · 05/01/2015 23:34

bugger she has woken up and screams when I try and out her back to bed grrrr

bum changed, refusing milk but is laid width ways across my bed with her butt in the air.

OP posts:

Original poster

wheresthelight · 06/01/2015 13:26

poocatcher did your night get any better?

dd decided to projectile vomit everywhere for 4 hours last night. she finally stopped about 4am. we are now having a sofa and snuggles day

OP posts:

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