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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Inappropriate/unsuitable

92 replies

vienna1981 · 03/01/2015 19:08

In the last thirty years or so the word
"fit" seems to increasingly have been used to describe a person's level of physical attractiveness. However, I have never used the word in such a context, considering it either inappropriate or unsuitable, or even slightly vulgar or disrespectful. Maybe I've just got a verbal rod up my back or I'm a little old-fashioned or uptight.

FWIW, I would describe an attractive woman (I am a 43 year-old male) as just that, or I might say she is a bonny or pretty girl or even a beautiful woman, depending on how much my boat is floated, so to speak. But never "fit". It doesn't sit very well with me at all.

AIBU ?

OP posts:
iklboo · 03/01/2015 19:11

Bonny round here is a polite euphemism for 'could do with using a few pounds'.

HouseBaelish · 03/01/2015 19:15

I sort of see where you're coming from. It seems a bit sleezy

I tell my chap he's hot. The word hot is far more descriptive Grin

ItsAllKickingOffPru · 03/01/2015 19:16

'Bonny' is a sarcastic anti-compliment round here.
As in 'Aye and you're a bonny fucker too' if you called me a 'pretty girl' or talked about your boat being floated.

iklboo · 03/01/2015 19:17

Sorry, phone sent too soon. I'm not a fan of 'fit' as an adjective for attractive, though. Can't say I've ever used it myself, even when I was in school in the 80s. I remember friends writing 'X is 100% fit' all over their books.

ArsenicFaceCream · 03/01/2015 19:18

You're my kind of chap OP Wink

vienna1981 · 03/01/2015 19:30

Thanks folks, especially Arsenic ! Just to add local context I'm in Leeds where "bonny" means exactly that, with no ironic or sarcastic connotations. I suppose a 'bonny lad' might mean something different on Tyneside whereas a 'canny looking lass' would definitely be a compliment.

OP posts:
SaucyJack · 03/01/2015 19:33

I'm far more bothered by you calling women "girls" for starters.

I suppose the fit thing came from being used to describe people with healthy, attractive body shapes.

shouldnthavesaid · 03/01/2015 19:37

Use bonny up here (near Peterhead) to mean all sorts. It refers to anything like that looks pleasant - including the weather. It's pronounced 'boon-aye' and usually 'at's affa bonny'

SillyBugger · 03/01/2015 20:36

Yuck, YABU. 'Bonny girl' or a 'pretty girl' is very patronising. It feels more demeaning than being described as 'fit' which is widely understood to mean attractive.

EdithWeston · 03/01/2015 20:42

YABU to describe an adult as a 'girl'.

But choosing different adjectives to describe more closely your ideas of beauty is fine.

vienna1981 · 03/01/2015 20:51

Maybe I am old-fashioned. That's what happens when you have six older brothers and sisters.

I genuinely don't understand anyone's objection to using "girl" as an alternative to "woman". When did that become unfashionable or unacceptable ? Having said that I wouldn't have referred to my recently-departed mother as a girl. But my father might have ?

I'm confused now Confused.

OP posts:
grimbletart · 03/01/2015 20:55

Would you describe a grown man as a boy vienna? If not, why describe a grown woman as a girl?

NollaigShona · 03/01/2015 21:02

When I was a girl (and God was a boy..) " fit" meant attractive. Nothing sleazy at all about it.
In fact I wish I was still a fit girl.....

slithytove · 03/01/2015 21:02

Girl/boy = my age or younger

I'm late twenties.

Bunbaker · 03/01/2015 21:07

I only think of bonny as meaning pretty.

I first came across "fit" when I was a student in Leeds over 30 years ago.

SaucyJack · 03/01/2015 21:28

Girl isn't an alternative to women.

Female children are girls. Grown women are women. Being a mature adult is nothing to shy away from- despite what the beauty industry tells us.

Would you be flattered by being described as a boy when you're in your forties?

ThumbInTheAir · 03/01/2015 21:35

But it's boy/girl friend, not man/woman friend.

Over here (Ireland) it's very much girl/boy....maybe it's used to convey youthfulness?

vienna1981 · 03/01/2015 21:36

Thankyou SaucyJack. You have made your point. But know this. A group of females of varying ages have just left the pub I'm currently sitting in. Their cue to leave from one of them was "come on, girls, we're going". She can't have been a day under sixty.

OP posts:
Hatespiders · 03/01/2015 21:36

I'm 70 and I'd never use 'fit' or 'hot' to describe anybody, except an athlete or someone standing on the tarmac at Accra airport!

slithytove · 03/01/2015 21:55

but know this

Grin very James Bond villain esque!

I was discussing a friends hen do and said "it'll be nice to go out with the girls". Plenty of women don't seem to mind it so perhaps don't be too offended on their behalf!

I also describe DH going out with his mates as a boys night out.

PacificDogwood · 03/01/2015 22:01

I will describe a certain type of spry older gentleman as 'old boy' Grin

'Fit' for 'sexually attractive' is just sleazy and not a phrase I'd use. But I'm ancient and so what do I know?!

'Fit' can only every mean 'cardio-vascularly healthy' or refer to how well something slots in to place: "Thankfully my new dishwasher will fit perfectly in to the allocated space"

SaucyJack · 03/01/2015 22:03

If they're old enough to be drinking in the pub then they are all women. Even the little ones.

And yes, many women refer to themselves as "girls" because society teaches us that being cutesy and immature is something to aspire to. No need to perpetuate it.

And stop fucking trying to shut me down.

Hatespiders · 03/01/2015 22:11

Here in Norfolk one refers to a grown woman as 'gal' (Are yew orl roit, gal?") and a man as bwoy, ("He's a noice ol' bwoy")
Our Women's Friendly Hour consists of women over at least 60, and we address the group collectively as 'girls', as in "Time for a cup of tea now, girls!")
My dh plays in the village football team (they're useless, but never mind) and the 'coach' shouts from the touchline all sorts of things such as, "Come on boys, get a move on!"
It's no good going all feminist if the traditional culture is against you.

slithytove · 03/01/2015 22:19

So me saying I'm out with the girls is wrong, cutesy and immature.

But saying DH is out with the boys?

vienna1981 · 03/01/2015 22:24

I think SaucyJack has a bit of a chip on their shoulder. Whatever. This thread is about the word "fit" and how reasonably it can be used to describe a person's allure

OP posts: