Inappropriate/unsuitable

[vienna1981]

In the last thirty years or so the word
"fit" seems to increasingly have been used to describe a person's level of physical attractiveness. However, I have never used the word in such a context, considering it either inappropriate or unsuitable, or even slightly vulgar or disrespectful. Maybe I've just got a verbal rod up my back or I'm a little old-fashioned or uptight.

FWIW, I would describe an attractive woman (I am a 43 year-old male) as just that, or I might say she is a bonny or pretty girl or even a beautiful woman, depending on how much my boat is floated, so to speak. But never "fit". It doesn't sit very well with me at all.

AIBU ?

Gah twee at best

I'm from the north east. Bonny just means pretty, and my mum still meets the 'girls' and my dad the 'lads' for a night out (they are in their 70s). I don't find 'fit' sleazy either.

Well I'm glad I started this thread even though I hadn't expected such passionate responses. "Fit" largely seems to be acceptable slang although I'm not convinced yet ! I once heard two teenage girls (not women) discussing the 'fit lads' at the local skate park. At first I cringed then I smiled and remembered they were still children. I wonder if they still use 'fit' in that context now ?

Exactly EatShit, 'fit' is used in most areas of society and most people don't even register it or just go about their day

No, I don't care. Nor do I see it as insidious sexism when it seems pretty equal across the board.

I'm an independant woman - am household main bread winner, vocal about equality, consider myself a feminist but really can't get worked up about being called love, duck, darling, a girl (rather than a woman) and would LOVE to be called fit!

I think we all know we are not 'girls' or 'boys' anymore but if it's a regional thing it surely doesn't patronise in the same way?

My dad says "Good girl" to waitresses who bring over his food etc. He thinks he is being charming. He also says 'the lads'. He also thought that a man's day off for the football was mandatory, as he had worked hard all week and needed a day's fun, every week. He then used to go up to the pub when my mother cooked Sunday lunch before she saw sense and left his entitled arse.

I am southern and in my circles, the boys or lads is only used a fraction of the time that the term girls is. Certainly not interchangeable. I can accept that if it is 50/50 then there isn't a problem at all.

I would use fit. I'm 32. It was the in word when I was at school!

I try not to use 'girls' but honestly, it trips off the tongue easier . I really am trying though (although I would use boys in the same context).

I'm from the south east now living in the north west if that makes a difference.

being cutesy and immature

That makes me smile. Our group (we 'girls') has an average age of about 75. Many went through the war years, one was captured by the Gestapo in Holland. Most are grandmothers and we're all covered in wrinkles to a greater or lesser degree.
Anything further from 'cutesy' or 'immature' I couldn't envisage .

I call everyone 'dear' or 'love'. I call our kind postman 'darling'. They must be exceptionally thick or hyper-sensitive if any of these people think for a moment I'm patronising or belittling them. I feel a lot of affection for many of the folk I encounter in daily life and like to let them know.

By the way, my friend aged 78 goes to Keep Fit. I'm wondering now just what they do?

So why use cutesy/immature/twrr names for yourself then Hatespiders?

Why not be proud if your age and life experiences and describe yourselves as the women you are?

Girls just sounds silly to me. I accept it might be regional tho- I'm from the SE if anyone cares.

I don't know anyone much past school age who uses fit seriously.
I did call DH 'well fit' this morning when he presented himself to me in patriotic pants, socks and a wooly hat but I wouldn't use it as a real compliment.
Boys/lads night out/holiday/meet up is in common usage here, same for girls/lasses. I've never heard anyone say off out with the Men/Women.

'Fit' is the term I would have used for a physically attractive male when I was between the ages of about 15 and 25, I wouldn't use it now but don't particularly find it offensive either

I think the whole girls/women thing depends on context. If I am out with my female friends (aged 30s/40s/50s) then it would definitely be a 'girls night out', but I wouldn't expect a male colleague to describe his female colleagues as 'girls'. For me it is fine in a social context between men and women I know but I would find it patronising in a professional context.

Scotland / NW here

I've never been described as 'fit'. I admit . I've had 'nice', 'nice-looking' and 'nice to talk to'. As far as I know these are the only compliments on my appearance I have ever had. I'm still single.
Coincidence ?

This reminds me of when I was about 15, some friends and I used to go to a youth group type thing and we all fancied one of the leaders (of course) who was in his twenties and nice looking, also into sport etc. We were talking to him one day about sport stuff and my friend said "yes, you're really fit though, aren't you" we all giggled and said "yes we have noticed how fit you are" thinking we were being really clever and he would never know that secretly we were all admitting that we thought he was attractive because it was fine to use the word fit in the athletic sense :-D cringe!!!

I've had 'nice', 'nice-looking' and 'nice to talk to'.

Ok, so in this thread we have learned you're single, in your 40s, nice, nice looking and (although you're a little bit clueless in the area) you're keen to show you're concerned about what words to use to describe attractive women respectfully. Are you hoping to meet someone on here, by chance Vienna ? Maybe have a go in relationships, rather than AIBU. Good luck with that.