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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Inappropriate/unsuitable

92 replies

vienna1981 · 03/01/2015 19:08

In the last thirty years or so the word
"fit" seems to increasingly have been used to describe a person's level of physical attractiveness. However, I have never used the word in such a context, considering it either inappropriate or unsuitable, or even slightly vulgar or disrespectful. Maybe I've just got a verbal rod up my back or I'm a little old-fashioned or uptight.

FWIW, I would describe an attractive woman (I am a 43 year-old male) as just that, or I might say she is a bonny or pretty girl or even a beautiful woman, depending on how much my boat is floated, so to speak. But never "fit". It doesn't sit very well with me at all.

AIBU ?

OP posts:
SaucyJack · 03/01/2015 22:35

My DP doesn't say he's out with the "boys" either tho. He just says he's out with Dave, Steve or Martin (not their real names btw)

I don't have a chip on my shoulder btw. I just think it's an outdated and slightly offensive term that society could gladly see the back of- like many other words that are no longer acceptable.

ItsAllKickingOffPru · 03/01/2015 22:39

'Fit' is belittling - fit for what? Hmm
'Girl' is belittling - unless it's an actual girl you are talking about. Even then it's better not to come over all Uncle Smarmy and err on the side of not being a creep.

SillyBugger · 03/01/2015 22:53

SaucyJack disagrees with you. That doesn't mean she has a chip on her shoulder. She's backed up her stance by explaining what's wrong with the term. This is more than you've done, and then you react to her reasonable explanation by dismissing her (not answering her points) without any justification as someone with a chip on her shoulder. Quite rude, and you've got a bit of a cheek to be nit-picking over other people's use of the word 'fit' when there's so much wrong with your communication.

TheCowThatLaughs · 03/01/2015 22:54

I do use "fit" to describe an attractive man, but I'm aware that by doing so I'm probably showing my age and also the area I'm from (North west)
I also don't like "girl" to describe "woman"

bluecheque4595 · 03/01/2015 22:56

I can remember the first time I ever heard this usage! Some teenage Londoner on telly saying "Philip Schofield is dead fit!" Which must mean I heard it in the late eighties???

SolidGoldBrass · 03/01/2015 23:03

I don't mind 'fit' used to mean attractive. And I definitely don't mind the use of 'girls/boys' to describe adults unless the use is clearly and deliberately meant as a putdown, which it often isn't - context is important. Some people refer to themselves, friends or family members collectively as girls or boys by way of a bit of shared bonding in that it harks back to the time they were kids together. Some use it to indicate that their group is sharing a playful/irresponsible meeting time rather than a serious discussion or a work-=related activity. I now tend to use girl./boy to describe anyone under about 30, as I am old enough to consider the under 30s mere kids anyway.

HerrenaHarridan · 03/01/2015 23:14

m.youtube.com/watch?v=64gvmHKWaWc

This thread makes me think of this song. Thanks for that op. Thanks a bloody lot.

Tbh I find girls fucking annoying but I do recognise it's not intentionally offensive, patronising and demeaning

I don't use fit. I don't exclusively associated fitness with attractiveness. When I need to describe an attractive looking woman I might say she is beautiful, attractive or sexy I might also say that she looked fantastic, amazing or ravishing... But it's not old fashioned when I do it, it's retro Grin

HerrenaHarridan · 03/01/2015 23:17

I don't usually have much call for describing attractive looking men, alright is about the highest praise (for looks) man can expect from me

slithytove · 03/01/2015 23:21

I do find it odd that someone would find it anti feminist, immature, cutesy, offensive, whatever if I referred to myself as a girl or on a girls night out. Or as having a boyfriend.

Theoretician · 03/01/2015 23:29

I know some women don't like "girls." I'm sure there are contexts where I'd agree it was wrong, but in general it's a term of affection, not meant disrespectfully at all.

There is nothing more macho, grown-up and male than a men's rugby team. They will refer to each other as "boys." They aren't saying they aren't men, they aren't belittling each other. The term is affectionate. The term "girls" is used informally to describe women, by both men and women, for exactly the same reasons.

TBH I can imagine an army officer starting a sentence with "the boys were wondering" when making an enquiry of a senior officer. I don't think any of "the boys" would think their manhood was being called into question, if they overhead.

Cabrinha · 03/01/2015 23:31

How does having 6 older siblings make you old fashioned?
My little sister (youngest of 6) would be pretty pissed off to find that birth order and large family detracted from her ability to move with the times Hmm

Fit. Meh. Context.

If a man I liked / loved and respected said "mmmmm you're fit, come here" I'd be all over it.

If a random in a pub said to his mate "she's fit, I'd do her" I'd think he was a sad and slimy cock.

Context can be flattering or objectifying.

SillyBugger · 03/01/2015 23:32

Slythytove Some things are more acceptable to call yourself, and less acceptable for other people to call you. For example - larger people calling themselves 'fatties' or black people calling themself a 'n*er'. Calling someone that is offensive. It would be better if there were no insulting words at all because nobody used them, but second best is at least they aren't used by other people to refer to a different group of people in a less than respectful way.

Birdsgottafly · 03/01/2015 23:40

I'm in Liverpool.

People and food can be described as "Fit", as well as decent. "Proper" put in front indicates a higher level of fitness, or niceness.

In in my late 40's.

I thought it was a shortened way of saying "Fit to Fuck", or "Fit as Fuck".

You can be attractive but not "Fit", as in "I would/n't Fuck him", (but might acknowledge their good looking, or change Fuck to Buck, if your out and about and don't want to swear.

Language is there to be used as seen fit (pardon that usage).

slithytove · 03/01/2015 23:40

I don't see it as less than respectful to say of my group of female friends that I'm out with the girls or on a girls night out.

slithytove · 03/01/2015 23:41

And I'm a bit shocked that you've put those 3 words on a par.

Pyjamaramadrama · 03/01/2015 23:42

Agree with SGB 'fit' and 'girls' depends on context really.

Describing somebody attractive as fit reminds me of my teens, I doubt I'd use it now other than in jest or to describe somebody who is physically fit. It doesn't really offend me though.

'Girls night out' isn't offensive, though mildly irritating and on par with 'hubby'. I don't like it when the security guard at work walks by and says 'morning girls' to a bunch of women in the 30s to 60s, feels a bit patronising.

slithytove · 03/01/2015 23:42

Before we were married, I certainly didn't expect DH to call me his woman friend or (yuck) lady friend. Girlfriend was totally acceptable.

SezaMcGregor · 03/01/2015 23:43

I use fit and don't see it as derogatory. When I was at school and first came across the term, most of the top of the league popular kids were "fit" - they were not only very attractive but also played sports and so it was not just about looks but over all presentation (perfect hair etc) and demeanour.

Birdsgottafly · 03/01/2015 23:45

As for Girls/boys.

Lads, is used in Liverpool and the grown men I know use that term for a night/trip etc out, rather than Men.

RandomNPC · 03/01/2015 23:46

I knew that this thread wouldn't end well

SillyBugger · 03/01/2015 23:56

Don't be ridiculous slithy I have not put them on a par. I have used them as an example to show you what I mean about how the context of a word, or rather who uses it, can affect how offensive it might be perceived to be. And just because you don't see or understand something, doesn't mean it isn't so. Let's agree to disagree.

slithytove · 04/01/2015 00:14

Well as I said - don't worry about being offended on my behalf, I don't mind being called a girl in the slightest. And I don't need to understand why someone wants to be offended, when I'm not.

misskangaandroo2014 · 04/01/2015 07:49

Fairly sure it's from 'fit to fuck' pretty similar to 'I'd tap that' in sleaze to me.
I get called a girl by my friends (when referring to ourselves as a group, including a close male friend) but if someone who didn't know me well used it I'd assume they were attempting to cause offense.

EatShitDerek · 04/01/2015 07:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bitofanoddone · 04/01/2015 07:51

Being called a girl is twee at worst and patronising at worst. If you are happy with that, great. However, this is what insidious sexism is about, every day language that reinforces cultural status. Some of us care about it and some don't.

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