to ask for your help re dh facial herpes

[Soleurmange]

Hi all, sorry i am posting for traffic - dh has multiple cold sores (which i can never see because he treats them with zovirax and he is on medication from the doctors) which means that he often doesnt want to kiss me and is worried about our new born daughter lying on his pillows, in case we catch it.

i presonally would be a lot more relaxed about it, but he caugth it from his father has a child when given a kiss with a cold sore.

the medication from the dr doesent seem to be working and he is coming to the end of a 3 month prescription. it has been a rather taboo subject for a ong time as he is very embarrassed about it, but we have agreed to tackle it head on properly in the new year and look at changing his diet/ try alternative medicines/ pay for a trip to a dermatologist. the trouble is, i have no idea where to start. any advice gratefully received.

Does he have constant cold sores?

I have always had cold sores on and off since I was very young - I don't remember any other family members having them when I was a child and i now have a dh (of 15 years) and 5 children none of whom have ever had any.

I have kissed dh ALOT in the last 15 years and never avoided kissing my children unless I currently have. Huge cold sore of course.

I might be misunderstanding though but you and your dh seem to be massively over reacting if I am not!

we used to get them on our noses in my family. Very salty water. We dabbed and never stopped dabbing them with very salty water- this would clear them up in a few days. Extra vitamin c seemed to help a bit as well.Not too much. A diet rich in zinc is said to help, best of luck

Oh I get them only when I am tired of run down , do really the best thing for me is to avoid getting rundown or tired!

He is right to be cautious.
A herpes infection can be fatal for a newborn.

The best thing to do is to go back to his GP, review his treatment and see whether he needs a referral or different treatment.

I really feel for your dh if he has them constantly :( will he not kiss you all the time or just when he has the coldsores? As I can understand not wanting to pass it on but not kissing you at all seems a bit ott.
However, he is right to be cautious around your newborn. Herpes for young babies although rare is very serious and kills a few babies each year.

Has he asked for a referral to a NHS Dermatologist?

I get them about once every 3 months but definitely don't kiss DD when I have one. They're uncomfortable and painful and miserable so I really don't want to inflict them on her, so I understand why he is cautious. Agree with a PP that I get them when I am generally tired and run down, and a healthy diet and exercise tends to keep them at bay.

I used to get them all the time, on my nose, my lips, my chin and in places in between. Horrible things.

Aloe gel worked for me, it's best squeezed fresh from the plant. Calms them down and makes them less painful and i get hardly any now. Worked for a friend of mine too.

You can get aloe plants from garden centres, just snip if the tip of the leaf and squeeze.

He is very right to be concerned cold sores can be fatal to very young babies.

Patches to cover even if you need to use lots are very helpful with reducing the risk of infecting someone else as is avoiding direct contact with them and the sore.

Perhaps he may be less embarrassed about them if you referred to them as cold sores instead of facial herpes (one is rather more emotive than the other) and he did a bit of research into them himself.

Your GP can refer to a dermatologist

A colleague of mine told me about lemon balm, its a plant in the mint family. You use the fresh leaves to make a "tea" and use cotton wool to dab it on the sores.. Makes them less stingy and inflamed and Ive gone from having one every couple of months to just one a year. Might be worth a quick google. Zovirax or any other medication just didnt work at all, ever, for me.

He's right to be concerned about passing it to the baby

Coldsores are often a sign of a zinc deficiency which is common in young males so I would consider buying a supplement

I used to suffer really badly with cold sores I'd get at least one a month and they were really aggressive. A friend told me about Nelsons remedies Nat Mur and Rhus Tox (I think I've spelt them right), you take them as soon as the cold sore comes out. I still get the odd cold sore, but they are very rare and not as aggressive.

My DH suffers from intermittent coldsores too.

He has tablets from the doc (acyclovir) which he starts taking when he gets the "tingle" and which while not always stopping them from forming seem to shorten the length of time they last. He also swears by putting toothpaste on them as a healing aid.

Just a note of caution, he also developed Bells Palsy on one side of his face a few years back, which the doc said was linked to the presence of the herpes virus.

Ly-sine tablets and balm from holland as Barrett is amazing stuff
I used to suffer terribly with them but since taking the tablet every day for several month and now only a few time a week I haven't had a cold sore in over a year

Lysine available from health food shop works too as does the lysine topical cream, Holland an Barret sell it. I have suffered with them for years an this is the only thing that works for me.

Yes they are very contagious and Yes if you have a active blister they can be spread, so he right for being cautious. Don't share towels no kissing an change pillows etc.

What do you mean he has cold sores that you can't see? They are quite visible.

I agree, Lysine supplements work very well, as they stop viral replication.
A diet rich in lysine foods, and low in arginine can also help (arginine is rally high in chocolate, and some nuts, so Christmas can be a particularly bad time of year for a low arginine diet).

Also I agree that calling it 'facial herpes', although biologically correct, isn't likely to help matters. 'Coldsore' is much less emotive.

Personally, as a person who gets fanjo cold sores I prefer people using facial herpes, it helps de stigmatise Genital herpes especially type one (the cold sore one)

Hadn't thought of it like that Ehric, you're right.

I also agree about max doses of Lysine. Very clever stuff that works a treat. Take it for a couple of days. Bye bye cold sores. However, I'd be more worried about why your dh is so run down - worth a blood test?

There are people who run a mile at the mention of herpes who have cold sores or wouldn't think twice about having unprotected oral sex with randoms, let alone kissing, without ever connecting the risks together. Genital herpes is incredibly common as is facial - 75% of the population carry one type or another.

thanks for all responses - i call it that to be biologically correct, but agree it is emotive, but also pleased to contribute to de-stigmatisation

Its a bit like chickenpox isn't it , herpes . Unpleasant but there are lots of things you can do to make it more bearable and lessen the impact . I can understand your DH not wanting to pass the virus on , but how does he know you don't have it already and are asymptomatic ?