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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask for your help re dh facial herpes

83 replies

Soleurmange · 02/01/2015 15:09

Hi all, sorry i am posting for traffic - dh has multiple cold sores (which i can never see because he treats them with zovirax and he is on medication from the doctors) which means that he often doesnt want to kiss me and is worried about our new born daughter lying on his pillows, in case we catch it.

i presonally would be a lot more relaxed about it, but he caugth it from his father has a child when given a kiss with a cold sore.

the medication from the dr doesent seem to be working and he is coming to the end of a 3 month prescription. it has been a rather taboo subject for a ong time as he is very embarrassed about it, but we have agreed to tackle it head on properly in the new year and look at changing his diet/ try alternative medicines/ pay for a trip to a dermatologist. the trouble is, i have no idea where to start. any advice gratefully received.

OP posts:
frumpet · 04/01/2015 21:33

Just for arguments sake carbeDiem how many cases of encephalitis have there been in the UK in the last 12 months not related to primary genital herpes ?

Latebear · 04/01/2015 22:24

velma its awful isn't it. My first outbreak was horrific, so painful. Subsequent outbreaks have been less severe, and if i take the valtrex that cuts it short. I can tell when an outbreak is coming as I get a kind of nerve pain and the tops of my thighs ache. Usually when I am run down.
I was referred to a consultant when pregnant, and although I had an outbreak in very early pg, I didn't have another one and went on to have a vb.

OP I think the take away messages for your DP are well done on the vigilance re the baby. Try not to get run down and take care of health in general. Don't get sunburned on face. Try some other medications and natural remedies mentioned. Also try to keep things in perspective, as a PP said its just cold sores, many ppl get them and I'd be thankful they're on the face and not anywhere else tbh.

VelmaD · 04/01/2015 22:28

latebear, i am so lucky ive only so far (touch wood) had that first outbreak. it was so awful i couldnt sit or stand, i couldnt sleep, i couldnt go to the toilet, i had the shakes and couldnt stop crying. i have scars and tender points, and get sore after sex now. i am so so thankful for my amazing partner throughout it all, but i live in fear of another attack.

VelmaD · 04/01/2015 22:30

ive had my children thankfully, that's great news you had a vb though :-) was it hard when you told the midwife? i have to tell medical professionals every now and then and still feel ashamed, even though its so common now.

sykadelic · 04/01/2015 22:56

Ditto to lysine. I'd also look into getting a blood test to see if he's deficient in any way (can you even test for zinc?) as that might help as well.

Good luck!

CocktailQueen · 04/01/2015 23:01

If he has cold sores, why can't you see them? They are very visible! That confused me.

Mintyy · 04/01/2015 23:02

Yanbu

Hamsolo · 04/01/2015 23:19

The light treatment Sali Hughes recommends (a previous poster linked to it above) is very good, in my experience. I can't remember the last time I had an outbreak, but I suffered from cold sores from early childhood into my 30s, so I don't think it's just coincidence!

CarbeDiem · 05/01/2015 13:54

Frumpet - I wouldn't know because A)I don't live in the UK and B) I'm not a medical professional (my information comes from my FIL, who is one)
My point was not to give incorrect information.

GotToBeInItToWinIt · 05/01/2015 14:00

Frumpet I know it's not exactly what you're asking but a baby boy died in March 2013 after contracting the herpes virus from a kiss from his DF. So it does happen, sadly.

Original poster
Soleurmange · 06/01/2015 16:16

Just wanted to say thanks all for info -

one last thing - can you catch it from things like sharing pillows? dh worried that DD might catch it if she lies on his pillow.

Flowers
OP posts:
VelmaD · 06/01/2015 17:22

i think its very unlikely, its not airborne etc. i was advised to have a different towel from the family when having an outbreak, but nothing else was mentioned

Original poster
Soleurmange · 06/01/2015 17:31

thank you Flowers

OP posts:
Adsss · 06/01/2015 17:33

Speaking as a mother whose son had multiorgan failure from Hsv 1. Be sensible but not terrified.MIT is rare, it is very rare. Most of the population are carriers, so even when your world collapses there can be no blame apportioned re "a kiss killed my baby " headlines. So many more things are likely to happen than this don't live you life in fear just take care.

Adsss · 06/01/2015 18:21

Just realised I had missed the good news, he is now a happy 2 year old thanks to some amazing care and a dollop of luck. No extreme precautions are needed.

GotToBeInItToWinIt · 06/01/2015 19:15

Happy to hear it Adsss Smile

grannytomine · 06/01/2015 20:00

Adsss that is great, so glad he is OK. Most illnesses can have complications but we can't avoid everything can we.

Adsss · 06/01/2015 20:49

Grannytomine that's spot on. Being aware of what is normal is what saved him. A gp believing a mum pointing out something that did not feel right is what counted not who\how it happened. Again it is so rare so don't take a will risk but even if the risk is taken your baby is extremely unlikely to have complications.

Adsss · 06/01/2015 20:52

Hmm will risk.... Any ideas what word got auto corrected there?
.... I think I was writing big risk!

Cutleryhands · 06/01/2015 21:00

My dad suffers a lot with coldsores in the winter. The past year he hasn't had them nearly so bad, and swears by lemon balm. I think if you google he bought it online. You have to put it on when they very first start to tingle though! He also takes Lysine daily now.

Cutleryhands · 06/01/2015 21:06

LEMON BALM

Original poster
Soleurmange · 06/01/2015 21:14

Adss, I'm so sorry to hear of such a traumatic experience and so pleased your DS is healthy now. yes that is terrifying - im very glad dh is so careful.

one more question - theres been alot of advice here to take a supplement such as lysine, b6, folic acid, as well as pepole noting that it seems linked to sugar (which I think could be the case as DH eats alot of sugary food) - should my dh go somewhere to find out which one he would he needs, or what he is allergic too? like a nutritionalist other practitioner?

OP posts:
ArgentinianMalbec · 06/01/2015 21:20

Op I suffer with cold sores and this helps clear up breakouts much quicker, and if you apply at tingle can even stave off or make a cold sore smaller. It also after time makes the breakouts less often. I've found it helps massively. I've got HSV type 1 and get a sore on my face probably once a year now did once have sores on my Fanjo but it was from oral and clinic tested and it was also HSV type 1 Blush

msrisotto · 06/01/2015 21:34

I also recommend the cold sore machine, you can buy it in Boots. it cut my incidence in half.

VelmaD · 06/01/2015 21:40

you can buy l-lysine from holland and barrett, no consultation needed. its not with vitamins, its with amino acids, but when i asked in the shop the assistant instantly said "for coldsores? it works wonders" and now my gp is researching it. you can buy online through h&b too, £7.95 for 100 tablets of 1000mg (one a day) i think,

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