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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want dh to stay at home with me on NYE...

35 replies

Minorchristmascrisis · 31/12/2014 19:33

...even though I'll probably spend it either sleeping or feeling miserable.
I'm ill, I have what I think is the start of a chest infection, a sore throat, a cough, a temperature and aching all over.
I love NYE - last year we threw a big party - this year we were going to a party next door.
I really don't feel well enough so I'm not going. Dh has just left with ds1 and 2 after putting ds3 to bed, asking me if I need anything, asking if I'd prefer him to stay and promising to come back and check on me.
Of course I told him not to stay, I am rubbish company but I want him to! (Stamps feet childishly)
I am, of course, well aware that I being massively unreasonable but I'm poorly sick and about to spend my first new year in about the last 15 years completely on my own (sniff)
Ps please be gentle, I'm not feeling hardy...

OP posts:
ItsAllKickingOffPru · 31/12/2014 19:36

I was going to say YANBU, but as it's a neighbour and he has taken your older 2 DC....YAB a bit U. Understandably though

MrsTawdry · 31/12/2014 19:37

Yabu. Have you got any lemsip or anything? Flowers

Sirzy · 31/12/2014 19:39

He offered to stay therefore yabu.

Hope you feel better soon

Original poster
Minorchristmascrisis · 31/12/2014 19:41

I am unreasonable aren't i! (Sobs)
I have flu plus and a comfy bed, a TV remote, snacks and drinks and a dh who will pop back to check I'm ok (until he gets too drunk and forgets about me) Oh, I'm a horrible, selfish brat and need to go to sleep until next year I think!

OP posts:
wobblyweebles · 31/12/2014 19:42

Sorry you are feeling ill, but get some lovely lovely sleep and indulge in a hot toddy.

RainbowFlutterby · 31/12/2014 19:42

You're not completely on your own though - you've still got your DS3 there. Would you have left him on his own if you'd been well enough though?

calmexterior · 31/12/2014 19:44

Hope you can sleep through it and feel better tomorrow.

championnibbler · 31/12/2014 19:44

YABVU.
There's no point in pulling him into your misery.
He's not sick and its NY Eve.
Let him go and have fun, for goodness sakes.

WorraLiberty · 31/12/2014 19:44

It's shit having a cold but at the same time, surely you wouldn't want him and the kids not to simply pop next door because of it?

Keep your phone by your bed and tell him you'll text if you need anything, to save him having to pop in and out.

Get well soon Thanks

Original poster
Minorchristmascrisis · 31/12/2014 19:46

Oh no! Ds3 would have come with us! He's only 4 and doesn't really understand NYE so we just didn't mention that the others were going out and put him to bed as usual. No way would we have left him! He is snoring though so I don't think he counts as company!

OP posts:
SurlyCue · 31/12/2014 19:46

I reckon he could come back in to you in time for midnight. that would be the decent thing. it's what I'd do. text him and ask him if he will.

MrsTawdry · 31/12/2014 19:47

Yes...he could come back at Midnight.

Original poster
Minorchristmascrisis · 31/12/2014 19:47

Yep, you are all completely right - I would be saying exactly the same to someone else! I promise I won't tell him I wanted him to stay in.

OP posts:
Shakey1500 · 31/12/2014 19:47

YABU but I'm sorry you're feeling shit Sad Thanks

He might as well go eh? No point in both of you being miserable.

Original poster
Minorchristmascrisis · 31/12/2014 19:48

To be fair, I reckon I'll be asleep by midnight.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 31/12/2014 19:48

SurlyCue really? Confused

If the genders were reversed here there would be cries of 'Wimp' and 'Man flu'

Not suggestions that the wife should leave the party before midnight.

MissHJ · 31/12/2014 19:49

Yeah you know you are being unreasonable. No point you both being indoors miserable. He has done everything he could do to make you comfortable and happy. Just watch some tv and go to sleep. Don't make him feel bad or guilty, it would not be fair. Hope you feel better soon!

MinceSpy · 31/12/2014 19:50

Sorry you are poorly. DH has put one child to bed and is taking other two next door so you don't have to look after them. Snuggle up and sleep.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 31/12/2014 19:53

A snoring 4yo sounds like lovely company Wink

My DH left me on board a Nile cruise to go sight-seeing . I wasn;t the only one left on board puking .

Sleep tight OP

RainbowFlutterby · 31/12/2014 19:53

I'd sneak in to your 4yr old for a cuddle then - even if he doesn't wake up. That's bound to cheer you up!

TheFourthLobster · 31/12/2014 19:55

Neither of you are being unreasonable, you want company, he's arranged it so you can get some undisturbed sleep. Get well soon - and Happy New Year :)

TheyThinkImCool · 31/12/2014 19:55

YABU Let him go out there and enjoy himself Smile I insisted that my DP spent New Year in Dubai with his friends.

Original poster
Minorchristmascrisis · 31/12/2014 20:00

Thanks all for the perspective - I did already know but to have it confirmed does make me feel a bit better. I'm glad I didn't ask him to stay or make him feel guilty - Happy New Year to my favourite best of vipers Wink

OP posts:
SurlyCue · 31/12/2014 20:01

yes if I was at a party next door to my partner on NYE I'd come back for midnight to spend it with them. is that really odd? I'd rather see it in with a partner than neighbours.

GretnaGreen · 31/12/2014 20:04

Aw, OP Thanks

If it is any consolation, I massively envy you. I am at the back end of a vile lurgy and I hate going out for NYE anyway because everything is so crowded and expensive and joyless. For various reasons I can't stay in but perhaps we can swap places in spirit Smile

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