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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not to want her to wake her daughter up for midnight (new year's eve)

41 replies

BigBirthdayGloom · 31/12/2014 14:33

We are having three sets of close friends over for New Year's Eve. We are doing a little party plus movie for the children, aged between 3 and 10, and then they'll go to bed between 7 and nine ish. The ten year old isn't staying up because he'll get too tired. But my friend is going to wake him up just to see in the new year. I know that things will evolve and eventually the children will either do their own thing or be with us for the evening, but while they're young enough to need their beds before midnight, I don't really get the point of him getting up. I have said yes with absolute good grace, they're our friends, so it's really Aibu to feel that way, not should I change things or say anything different.

OP posts:
Original poster
BigBirthdayGloom · 31/12/2014 14:34

Oops-trying to be sneaky and keep anonymous-but it is her son, not daughter!

OP posts:
VitalStollenFix · 31/12/2014 14:39

what on earth will the ten year old get out of it? [baffled]

surely they will be fast asleep and it'll muck them up for the following day.

well, you've said fair enough and that's that but I think it's pointless to wake a sleeping child just so they can look at a clock, see it tick past midnight and go back to bed again.

HeraldAngelSinging · 31/12/2014 14:40

I can't see any harm in getting up a 10 year old. My first thought was that if he gets up in an excited manner, he might wake up the others.

What about getting your friend blotto so she forgets how close to midnight it's getting?

HeraldAngelSinging · 31/12/2014 14:41

Oh, and to add to that turn your clocks back by 15 mins so it's 'suddenly' midnight and there's no time to get the 10 year old up.

Original poster
BigBirthdayGloom · 31/12/2014 14:43

I'm a bit baffled too, tbh. And I feel that we've made it an event earlier in the evening for the children and the it's really the adults turn, whilst the kids aren't old enough to stay up properly. Hey ho. Hold back on the fizz-don't want to be embarrassing come midnight...

OP posts:
PrimalLass · 31/12/2014 14:44

Why does it bother you?

Balaboosta · 31/12/2014 14:44

It's her child. What's the problem? Not too late for ten year old. Unclench.

PrimalLass · 31/12/2014 14:45

whilst the kids aren't old enough to stay up properly

We've had parties the last 3 years and the kids have all stayed up. Last year it was 2 am before my 5-year-old was in bed Blush

mommy2ash · 31/12/2014 14:47

my eight year old is staying up with me this year and I have woken her up in the past. you can see fireworks from my house and we have an odd tradition of throwing bread at the front door lol

MrsTawdry · 31/12/2014 14:49

I don't think children should be woken up...it;s ridiculously self indulgent on the part of the parents and also they don't need to be around drunk adults.

teeththief · 31/12/2014 14:50

My 8 and 9 year olds will be staying up as they have done for the last 5 years. I don't see an issue, or why the children can't stay up until they drop!

weegiemum · 31/12/2014 14:50

I was 9 the first time I stayed up (I remember as it was 79-80!). Nothing wrong with an older child staying up!

Original poster
BigBirthdayGloom · 31/12/2014 14:51

Not a sweeping statement about age of staying up! Just our kids are vile the next day if they stay up. I wish ours would, tbh, but when they've been up late before, for opening ceremony for Olympics, eg, they've just faded and then been grumpy next day. And friend herself said he'd asked to stay up and she'd said no. I guess a "bring the kids to stay over because there are no sitters" is going to change and is already a bit. There'll be no issue, I just fancied child free tbh.

OP posts:
MrsTawdry · 31/12/2014 14:51

Prima I know you asked the OP but I will add my thoughts as to why it bothers me.....most NYE parties involve alcohol and children don't need to be around drinking or drunk adults And the adults want to enjoy themselves...they will have to watch what they say in front of a 10 year old....this isn't relaxing or fun for the adults.

thinkingaboutthis · 31/12/2014 14:51

I can't see what the problem is.

Deux · 31/12/2014 14:54

When we do this kind of thing, we don't put the DCs to bed. Some end up crashed out on the floor or in a bed. My 10 yo would stay up though.

We never wake the children if they're asleep. It seems pointless putting the 10 yo to bed.

But when we do this, the evening usually ends about 12.30/1.00 am.

Hurr1cane · 31/12/2014 14:56

I don't see the problem either. My 8 year old will be staying up with me if we can last, because it's just me and him and it's a bit miserable otherwise.

Mind you he has autism and on a melatonin break so hasn't slept at all since he finished school anyway.

We've bought fizzy pop (he isn't normally allowed it) cheap plastic funky glasses and loads of party poppers and are going to make it a fun party just the two of us.

zzzzz · 31/12/2014 14:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
BigBirthdayGloom · 31/12/2014 15:09

Okay-as usual Aibu makes me think! I guess I'm bothered because it changes the nature of the party we were expecting. I enjoy the post midnight thing. In the past, we've all had some really good chats about the year gone and the year coming. They're our closest friends so some pretty personal stuff can come up. That's not going to happen with a ten year old there. And I always work hard to adapt to everyone's changing needs-you have to with lots of kids. Day times are pretty child focussed and they should be. But if the kids are all asleep, and acknowledged as needing to be, why change this year? When any of them are ready to stay up, I'll make sure we do an appropriate time for all. Just wasn't expecting to this year.

OP posts:
Original poster
BigBirthdayGloom · 31/12/2014 15:10

So no, not about hurting the ten year old, just wondering whether it's a year too soon to be involving him if he needs to be asleep.

OP posts:
Bulbasaur · 31/12/2014 15:12

The first time I slept through the ball drop was an boring adult. I loved New Year's parties as a kid, the best part was staying up ridiculously late and eating too much junk food. Half the fun was trying your best to stay up until midnight, while adults teased us that our eyes were getting heavy. We would watch the ball drop, then my parents would pop in a Disney movie and leave us all to fall asleep.

I think at 10 we were all playing video games together all night afterwards because it was a sleep over.

Anyway, if it's her kid, I wouldn't worry about it. It's not you that has to put up with his crankiness the next day. Personally, if my child were going to be that bad after being up so late I'm not sure I'd bring them to a party where the whole point was to stay up until midnight.

MrsTawdry · 31/12/2014 15:13

OP that's exactly it...that plus the alcohol. How can adults chill out if there are kids running around? Their conversation is then changed...their behaviour...it's not the same as someone who has invited adults and kids for a party.

Smartiepants79 · 31/12/2014 15:16

Is he not just going to go straight back to bed?
I agree that it's not necessary for him to be woken and I wouldn't do it myself but I don't know why it means it will change your party.
Up to say Happy New Year and back in bed by 12:15.

ElizabethHoover · 31/12/2014 15:17

a 5 year old up at 2am? Sounds like the worse party ever

Deux · 31/12/2014 15:18

We find that the children occupy themselves either upstairs or in another room where there's a TV or Xbox or Twister. So they don't intrude on adult conversations.

Can you do something like that OP? Is everyone sleeping over?